Hello all. I'm back. Alot has happened since I used to come here. Unfortunetly I didn't make much progress while I was here...later I did. I managed to lose 30+ pds...I am now back up by 50! I've been following the same destructive pattern my entire life. I'm now 35 with two kids 13 and 7, that I would love for them to see me smaller and full of life for once! They deserve that if nothing else but I don't know what else to do to achieve this goal! I love food, I feel good when I eat, Stress goes away when I'm eating.......most of you know this story all to well I'm sure. I can find that bit of motivation and kick butt for a couple weeks but then it starts all over.

When you have a great love of food and how it makes you feel (at that moment of course)....how do you change for life???

Thanks to anyone who reads this....life is easier knowing others know exactly how you feel.

Honestly StormLynn, I don't know. But I do know that I can start over lots of times. Sometimes, I have to start over a couple of times a day. But sooner or later ... if I can string together enough attempts ... I'll be predominantly on plan. And if I stay on plan enough of the time ... I be slim most of the time.

Did that make sense?

Hi StormLynn!
So many of us know your feelings of frustration and being overwhelmed -the best way is to make changes, a step at a time - no looking back, no beating yourself up, just keep moving forward - the support you need is here - we'll all be here to cheer you on.

Glad to have you join us! There are lots & lots of different groups and forums - I'm sure you'll find some that will keep you motivated, inspired and entertained! There's also info and first hand advice on different eating plans and exercise to help choose the right ones for you and get through the ups and downs.

There are bunches of people here with more to lose and some with less - the bottom line is that we all have to do it a day at a time. The good thing is that we'll have lots of company along the way.

I've only been here a few months myself, having NEVER been part of an online forum. What has been so eye-opening is how much it has helped me. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or defeated, I just log on and read some of the success stories, complete with their before & after photos - or read about others still dealing day to day with their challenges - and before I know it, the time has flown by and so have all the thoughts of cheating or giving up.

So welcome - you 've found the right place - join in by inspiring us and being inspired!

All the best - good luck with your goals,
Lee

Happy Holidays!

I feel you. I understand.

You know what you must do? You must find a new relationship. Your relationship with food isn't the one for you! You must replace the behavior! What do you like to do? Would you like your house to be cleaner? Do you like walking? What about window shopping? Think about what you want to do--it can be a variety of things. Find other ways to indulge yourself as long as it doesn't include eating. You can do this! We are here. We get it.

Sigh, I feel the same as everyone else. This is my 3rd time returning to the board! I think that at least making the effort to start over when we realize that we are exhibiting destructive behavior is sometimes the best we can do. I am in the throws of trying to understand why I behave in certain ways so that I can change that behavior. Negative weight gain, I believe, is just a symptom of other problems.

You have us and we have you. That is a definite positive!

[QUOTE=StormLynn;3062113]When you have a great love of food and how it makes you feel (at that moment of course)....how do you change for life???
QUOTE]

Hubby and I are foodies - and always will be. Most of my weight loss attempts in the past were "diets," not lifestyle changes - all the while I was waiting, hoping, longing for the day when I could eat "normally" again (unfortunately my "normal" had never been one that would sustain weight loss).

It helped me alot to work in reverse. Instead of picking a goal weight and working toward it (and not worrying about the sustainability of my plan) - I decided to only make changes that I'm willing to make forever.

At first, there really weren't many changes I was willing to make - and I didn't see much, if any weight loss. But the healthy changes I was making - were helping me feel better in other ways, so they inspired me to make a few more changes, and the weight did start coming off (slowly, but coming off, nonetheless).

I do have a goal weight in mind, but the weight itself isn't my primary goal. It's really to keep making changes until I'm not willing to make any more (and at whatever weight that is - I have to be able to accept that. Change or accept - those really are my only options).

At any minute, I can decide that I'm not willing to make any more changes. I
can even decide to backtrack - but I try to always remember what my choices are "change or accept."

So far, I've been happy with all the changes I have been willing to make. It does seem like I'm not dieting at all (because I'm really not). I've just made small changes, and if anything I'm happier with my food choices (and enjoyment of those food choices) as I've ever been before - especially since guilt is almost never involved anymore.

You can adore food and still control your weight - but it does mean that you have to look at foods a little differently.

In the past, decadence meant cheesecake or some other high calorie food.

Now decadence means splurging on seafood (with a small amount of garlic butter/olive oil instead of a quarter cup of melted butter). Or splurging on exotic fruits (I LOVE trying new fruits).



In the past, restaurant buffet meant a free-for-all, eat-until-bursting-to-get-my-money's-worth gorge-fest.

Now, restaurant buffet means that I have more control over what I want to put on my plate. I only go to the buffets that have good options (and not just "being good" options). For example, good salad bars are rarer than hens teeth. Too many are all mayo-based salads and salad dressings. But my favorite oriental buffet has an awesome salad bar. It looks small (compared to the rest of the buffet) but it has some really great choices (not just for dieting, but for taste too). Cold, cooked shrimp, crisp snow peas, crunchy matchstick carrots, baby corn, green onion, bell pepper, water chestnuts... and they have a ginger garlic dressing to die for (rice wine vinegar, ground fresh ginger and garlic, and a drop or too of sesame oil - it's more a spice paste than a dressing as Americans think of it - but it's so, so good). The soups are tasty and healthy too. I do have to avoid some of my old favorites (the deep fried and sweet dishes), but I'm really not losing out by choosing my new favorites (stir fried green beans in garlic sauce, love those, as a side dish not a calorie bargain - but as a main dish, quite nice).




In the past, dieting meant boring - eating a small number of boring low calorie foods (mostly ones I didn't like), prepared in boring ways, and eaten over and over and over again until I wanted to scream and couldn't stand to even look another grapefruit (or whatever).

Now, I consider myself just as much of a food adventurer as I ever did, and I still am searching out new, wonderful flavors - but calorie-content and healthfulness are now part of the search criteria. I don't see it as an extra burden - but as an extra challenge. You've got to be really smart and savvy to find healthy, tasty treasures. Any idiot can find unhealthy, tasty food. (It may be delusional, but that little bit of arrogance makes me feel like I'm doing something special and unique enough to be worth doing forever).




So much of this battle is mindset. And we're really taught that weight loss is SUPPOSED to be miserable. Oh, there's a token article here and there about indulgent, luxury weight loss - but usually it's associated with expensive and exclusive spas, not something a person with an average or below average income could aspire to. But that's all hype and hogwash. Hubby and I are on disability and while our income is above the poverty line (too high for any economic assistance), our medical and medication expenses bring us pretty close. Most programs for assistance look at your income, but not your expenses. So if your medical and medication expenses exceed your income - you have to do without the medications AND you're not eligible for food stamps either. Hubby and I had to give up many medications that were helping, because they were too expensive. We were able to find some cheaper alternatives (though there's usually been a trade-off in effectiveness or side effects/saftey), but for some things there just weren't affordable alternatives. I need some dental work done, but it will have to wait until we scrape up the money (Medicare covers virtually no dental care).


Got sidetracked a bit, but I wanted to illustrate that even financial difficulties do not condemn you to unhealthy or boring food. You don't have to choose between losing weight and having fun. The more challenges you have, the more work it is to find the bargains and the exciting, yummy foods - but it's not impossible. It isn't rocket science, but you do have to exercise your intelligence, wit, imagination and sense of humor.

The internet and the public library are very valuable resources. This site is one of the best, and reading other people's ideas will inspire you to come up with your own.

If you think of weight loss as a grand adventure instead of as a life sentence, I think it makes it a lot easier to do all of this forever. Because when we treat it as a punishment, there's always the part of us looking for escape.

Welcome to 3FC and good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle