Intro
Hi
My name is Alison and I'm new to this site.
I'd like to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about my history.
I have had a problem with my weight since before I can remember. My parents tell me I started over eating at around 6-7 years old and hence became the "chubby" child. By the time I was 11 I was definately obese. From there I put on 15lbs for every year of my life eventually getting up to 230lbs by the time I was 15.
I don't know when I started linking my own self worth to my weight but it would very likely of happened between 11 and 13 years. I was under the impression that if I could just lose the weight my life would be all peachy.
What I wish I could have realized back then was that my life already was pretty peachy and the only thing that was making me unhappy was my own attitude towards my appearence. I was never bullied or teased, I always had good friends and my parents loved me for who I was. But I could never see passed the weight.
My attempts at dieting started at about 13, usually ending up with me simply adding another 5lbs on at each attempt. I did everything i could think of and was obsessed with diet books.
At 15 a close friend of mine died which led to me falling into depression. I thought the only thing that could make things better was to lose weight.
And i did. Over four months I lost 60lbs. I was counting calories like a maniac and i would set myself rediculously low calorie restrictions. At some points i would go for weeks eating less than 500 cals per day. It was completely unmaintanable.
I gained it all back again in months, plus some. At 16 I now weighed my highest weight of 260lbs!
After this I decided it was about changing my lifestyle.
When i was 17 I moved to college where, without food being constantly around me, i lost 15lbs without trying. My course was a very practical skills based course so i was alot more active. A year after starting college I volunteered as a warden up in Scotland where, because i was walking everywhere, i lost another 15lbs.
After this not too much happened, for three years i fluctuated around 230lbs. I'd moved back home and was working as a receptionist but i managed to maintain the weight well by going to the gym and swiming 3 times per week.
Then! I met a guy!
I was 21 and had never had a boyfriend. I put this down mainly to my own low self esteem. When he asked me out i was so happy. Somebody wanted me? wow.
Weight issues got pushed to the back of my mind as i got into the cozy pattern of dating then living with another person. Why would i need to lose weight if i've got a great guy who loves me for who i am?
Well. It was bliss for 1 whole year. Then one day he came back from work and told me he was leaving. He left that night, shut his phone off and would not answer me. I never found out why he left.
This threw me into an even greater depression then i've ever experienced. I remember thinking that i would not really have minded if a bus came now and ran me over. I searched around for reasons why he left me and settled on my old safety blanket. My weight.
I went crazy again with the calorie counting and over 4 months i lost 40lbs and got to the lowest weight i'd been in my adult life, 190lbs.
I was happy with my weight loss but still in a deep depression. Losing weight hadn't cured me of that or provided me answers.
So i decided to run away. I volunteered on a biological reserve in Ecuador for 3 months where i met a great new bunch of people and found that working outdoors doing conservation work was my passion.
I moved to America on new years eve 2008. I'd found a new volunteer placement in a conservation corps and had signed up for 3 months. it's now nearly my year anniversary and i am now a paid crew leader working crews running chainsaws, building trail, restoration and invasive species removal.
I live a very active lifestyle. I am now strong and toned due to the nature of my work but unfortunately i have not been able to lose any more weight.
I am currently around 200lbs.
Which is why i'm here now. I want to finish this weight loss story. lose 50-60lbs and finally not have something to blame when everything goes wrong.
Thank you for reading
Ali
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