Hi SeekingBalance...and welcome.
Such a simple question but so difficult to answer. Let me just share a few things I've learned on my own journey. First...I HAD to find a method that provided me with consistent results. I have great will-power, as a general rule....but a lack of clear results will cause me to feel defeated and to feel as if I am "sacrificing" for nothing. For me, the method that works is Atkins but I've learned from reading extensively here that many different programs work for different individuals....and apparently, for a whole variety of different reasons. But for me, finding the program/diet that provides you with consistent and observable results is critical. I NEED that regular boost to my motivation.
Also, in terms of choosing a program....for me, the critical element is to not be constantly hungry. I am not a picky eater and what specific foods I can and cannot eat is not a problem for me. But for others....not being able to eat entire categories of foods can be a HUGE problem. So for them, a different program would probably work better.
I mean, I could give you all the specific reasons why Atkins works for ME....but the point I'm trying to make is that not everyone is like me and each person needs to evaluate what things might be deal-breakers and what things they can manage with. Finding the right program for you is extremely important, I think......and this may require some trial and error with different ones. Do not be discouraged if the first one...or few...don't work for you. It's worth it to find the right fit.....because it's a journey and you need to find the right one that you can live with for the long haul.
Secondly...in terms of motivation...and the whole issue of "sticking with it"...there is a term I am hesitant to use because it's often used as "thinspiration" by teen girls...and it goes like this: "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels". But I'm going to change it to "Nothing tastes as good as looking normal feels"....because I'm 57 years old and a lot wiser than I was when I was a teen...BUT, I repeat this to myself whenever I am having a weak moment.
BECAUSE....that phrase really does sum up my life, insofar as my struggle with weight has been. For ME, being fat never felt good....in fact, it felt miserable. Failing felt miserable. Feeling hopeless felt miserable. And while yes, it temporarily felt good to binge or to eat things that were keeping me fat....I always felt miserable afterwards.
So when I add up all the millions of miserable memories....clearly nothing EVER tasted as good as looking normal felt...and feels. And so I repeat this to myself all the time....and it's been extremely helpful for me...because when it comes right down to it...it IS and always has been the truth for ME.
And I want to make one final point....and that's in relation to TIME and the time-line of our lives. And it also relates to that phrase I mentioned above. There have been many, many times during my life when I started a diet (make this point A)....and then failed....time passed.....and let's say 6 months later (just pick a time span...make this point B).....and I said to myself, "had I stuck to my diet, I might now be looking normal and feeling good about myself". And I would reflect upon the time that had passed and I would ask myself, "did all those individual moments of giving in to my cravings make that span of time more enjoyable for me?"....and the answer was always no. And I came to realize that those time spans always pass....whether we stuck to the program or not....we WERE gonna live through them....and what really mattered was...what were we left with when we arrived at point B?
I don't know if I'm really explaining myself clearly here.....but this particular time, at my heaviest and indescribably miserable about it...I began this program during this past summer. And now, I'm at point B and am able to enjoy the holidays looking normal again. Those 6 or so months were going to pass whether I'd stuck to my program or not......and I could be here today, still at my heaviest and still despairing and miserable over it. But I'm not....and really, that's all that matters. Whatever cookies I couldn't have, whatever binges I didn't allow myself to indulge in................really don't matter NOW. What matters is that NOW I feel good about myself and how I look. Whatever the **** I deprived myself of seems so inconsequential NOW that I see the results.....does this make any sense?
There were probably thousands of moments when....for a few minutes, or seconds....I WANTED something right at that moment and it seemed like a huge sacrifice that I couldn't have it. But those tiny moments mean NOTHING now.......and my point is...that I make every attempt to be cognizant of these things. To remain aware that all these tiny sacrifices CAN and DO end up in getting you what you want....land you in a much better place....if you can just keep reminding yourself of it. And when you finally DO get to point B....you do GET it. And you realize just HOW worth it it was....and you learn the meaning of having patience and perseverance and how to convince yourself that feeling deprived is temporary and that all those moments, in the end, will get you where you want to be.
I hope this made sense. There's no easy or simple answer to your question but my recommendations would be 1) find a program that works for you and gives you steady results and 2) find ways to maintain motivation, patience and perseverance. Ask yourself....in a year, do you want to be in the same place you are right now or do you want to feel a whole lot happier with yourself? A year is a long time. It's millions of moments where you might struggle, might feel deprived, might temporarily feel defeated or hopeless, feel like it's not fair....and on and on. BUT....this time next year you can feel totally different about yourself...it's completely possible. It's not easy....but it's possible.
Because I CAN assure you of this. When you finally arrive at point B (and I'm not even at goal yet but feel a whole **** of a lot better about myself and how I look).....you will look back and realize how totally worth it it was....trust me. It is SO worth it. Whatever cookies I wanted that I didn't allow myself.....seem so clearly not worth it now. I can clearly see that the reality was that all those moments just kept me spinning my wheels and got me nowhere...but trapped in my despair and misery.
You CAN get to point B....the problem is that it's so hard to see that when you're back at point A. You MUST repeatedly tell yourself that every single moment of perseverance is getting you there....and that you WILL see it when you get there. AND....keep telling yourself that every single moment that you weaken, lose hope, or convince yourself that it's not worth it....just takes you backwards and gets you nowhere.
You know, if I could magically just bring you here to point B, I would do it. Just so you could look back and see it for yourself and get what I'm trying to say here (badly, probably, and too rambling). I mean, I could tell you, "it's a journey"....but that sounds trite and you already know that anyway, I'm sure. I want to convey something meaningful...but it's hard for me, obviously. I spent 4 years struggling and failing. Ending up at the holidays, over and over, in the same place. The holidays will roll around again...this time next year. And you can still be in the exact same place you are right now.....or it can be a whole different story. This coming year is gonna pass whether you change your life or not.....and it's totally up to you if you want to use that time to change your life....or not. I'm not gonna tell you it's easy but I WILL tell you that you CAN do it. And I'll also assure you that if you do...you will definitely see that whatever you had to struggle through to get there was totally worth it.
deena
I need your support / advice...
