[MotoXMama]

I feel like I have hit my worst... seriously. My body hurts. At 280+ lbs, I am afraid I will never feel good again.

I am exhausted. Literally exhausted. I think I may have developed sleep apnea because of how heavy I've gotten.
My feet ache.
I cannot breathe.
I feel my body jiggling around when I walk up and down the stairs with my children. It's heavy, and it's exhausting.
My oldest son has called me "fat" on more than one occasion.
I cannot cross my legs anymore.
I can't even really sit "criss cross applesauce" with my babies on the floor. In fact, I'm afraid to even sit on the floor anymore with my children, because it hurts so badly, and I'm sure looks ridiculous, to get back up.
I have heart palpitations regularly.
I have horrible heartburn, almost daily.
At my husband's work party last week, on the beach... the chair broke underneath me. :cry
Speaking of chairs, I'm uncomfortable in most. In fact, I barely fit into the lawnchairs when I got to my son's football games, so I spend most of the time there on my aching feet.
My seatbelt doesn't fit me correctly, and I have to tuck it under my fat roll.
We are taking our children to Disneyland in December this year. I am afraid. I fear that I can't walk with them, or that I will not fit on a ride.

This is only a small list of what is on my mind these days, constantly. I think about this during most of my day. I am consumed.

And worst of all, I am afraid to even try to do anything about it. I don't want to "diet" anymore. I am afraid to fail. Take a look, I've been here before... then I disappear... It's happened time and time again.

I have gained 80 lbs in 3 years.
I have tried every "diet" on the market. I've paid countless amounts of money on trying to change myself.

I eat when I'm bored.
I eat when I'm tired.
I eat when I'm sad.
I eat when I'm happy.

I keep eating, because I have no idea how to get back on my feet and try to change my life. I have gotten so heavy, that I'm afraid that I may never be healthy again. Not sure it's really even possible. Losing 5, 10, even 20 pounds won't be enough now to even make a difference... so I'm afraid I'll never get any better.





I am being completely honest here. Not the usual kind of post I like to make when I Join a new forum. But I hope I can be honest here. I am scared to death to start a new change. I want so badly to change my life. I want so badly to live to be with my children, my grandchildren... my loving husband. I want to live. I want to be healthy.

I want to be happy again. Someday.

[Onederchic]

Hi Jen and welcome to 3FC!

You have listed a lot of reasons why you should not and can not wait to make yourself and your life healthier. This site is full of support, advice, tips and encouragement.

Good luck with your goals

Hugs
Michelle

[SunshineCA]

Hi Jen!

Welcome to 3FC! You have come to the right place where your situaion is totally understood. I am impressed with your honesty. I'm sure you will find what you need here to get and keep you motivated.

Wishing you the best as you embark on your weight loss journey.

[pglasgow]

I know how you feel. I joined today for the first time. I am 5 feet tall and I weigh 223 pounds. I have been thin all my life until 10 years ago and I have gained 100 pounds. I have Type II Diabetes, I have heart burn, my legs and feet hurt all the time. I have sleep apnea, and I can't get off the floor sometimes when I sit down and also I hate to sit in a booth because I am afraid I can't fit. All of my weight is in my stomach and my arms. I don't go to funerals or weddings because I am afraid someone will see me and not know who I am and then say, "Did you see how fat Paula is"? I have the tools but I do not have the will power and I don't like to tell anyone that I am starting a diet becuase I never finish. I joined WW in August and have been to one meeting. I walked up a steep hill last Monday and didn't walk the rest of the week. The only comfort I have in my life is food. But Jen we both made the first move today by joining 3FC. Maybe we are just fed up and need to speak to someone that would understand. So I will be your weight loss buddy and if you would rather contact me via cell phone I would have no problem with that. I want to live longer than my parent, I want to see my children get married and have grandkids. I do not want my husband to be a widow. So, I decided to get off the couch and I am going to do some ironing. It is a start. Keep writing Jen. I will help you and you can help me.

Paula

[MotoXMama]

Wow, thank you all very much. As I read through that post over and over, I realize that indeed those are the VERY reasons that I'm here. They are the reasons that I have to make some changes for my life.

I have read through so many posts here, and looked at so many blogs, and have seen so many before and after pictures... I know that I'm in the right place here.

Now I need to find my starting place. I really don't even know where I'm going to begin. But I've got to find a way somehow.

Paula, I will PM you. I would LOVE to have a buddy! I really feel like I am ready to make some changes. I need all the help I can get!

Thanks to you all!
Jen

[Onederchic]

I would suggest checking out the Diet Central here - http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/#diet-central Tons of info on eating plans.

For me, I count calories and exercise. So far it's working good for me

[Sapitaa]

Hi Jen and Paula!
Welcome to 3FC!!!
Itīs great to have you here and I assure you this is a great place where you will find great food and exercise ideas and whatīs more important support. Thereīs LOTS of people who have been in the exact same spot where your are, and now are living a healthier and happier life... you can do it too!!! (check the Goal section and youīll be amazed)

I started just two weeks ago and believe me, this is a great place with wonderful people! I count calories, I can have anything I want as long as I stay under my calorie limit and itīs free (important for me cause Iīm a student lol)


I wish you both the best!
Hugs from Chile!!!!

[midwife]

Welcome to 3FC! I'm glad you're here! Surf around and settle in. We have forums based on age, eating plan, exercise & more!

Be sure to check out the 100 lb Club and the 300 Club for lots of good support.

You're post is very powerful and honest. I'd encourage you to print it and reread it through your journey. You are worth making the choice to be healthy and well.