2009 is my year to shine!!!
Hey everyone. I have been lurking the forum for quite some time and have decided to participate. I must warn you all that I am not much of a writer, but I feel the need to share my journey with you. I have been overweight my entire life, basically being fat is all I know. I have been haunted most of my life by the following:, feeling ashamed, inadequate,unloved, disrespected, addicted, etc. I feel ashamed because of the way I look, inadequate because of what I've allowed myself to become, unloved because I dont love myself, disrespected when I go out in public, and its all because of my addiction to Food. I used to eat very large portions, such as, gallon of ice cream, dozen donuts, 2 liter pepsi, lots of bread products. McDonalds was my home away from home. Instead of spending my extra money on nice clothes and beauty products I'd spend it there. I am re- starting my weight loss journey on Januray 1, 2009 at a starting weight of 370. My highest weight was 416lbs. I got down to 393 using the Atkins diet. Now on a similar but somewhat different diet plan, I plan to lose 100 pounds by my 32nd birthday (nov 13th) by simply just counting my calories. I love counting calories because I dont feel like im depriving myself of anything. As long as I eat in moderation and stick to my caloric max intake, im fine. I know you probably think Im crazy for trying to lose that much weight in so little time, right? Trust me, it can be done!!! Just look at a gastric bypass patients stats. I did some research on gastric bypass and came to the conclusion that the surgery is not for me. My thinking is, I didnt need any help putting all this weight on, so why should I need help taking it off? I feel that if I opted for the surgery I'd be taking the easy way out. Besides, the whole point in my journey is learning how to eat the right foods and control my portions. I cannot do that with the surgery "forcing" me to eat smaller portions because if u go over the calorie intake the doctor set for you, you will get sick. So, its not really me having control now is it? I'm gonna do this the hard way which includes alot of discipline. I've adapted the quote "eating to live, not living to eat". That is the old me. Food is not my friend. It is merely nutrition to keep the body functioning correctly and I am going to use it as such. I know my road to THINSVILLE will be tough, full of bumpy roads. In fact, im looking forward to the bumps. What really matters when you hit those bumps is what you do aferwards. Will you let that bump knock you down and keep you down? Or will you get back up and keep on fighting the good fight? Hopefully, Im gonna get back up!!! No, I WILL get back up. Im going to be 32 next year and its time for me to start enjoying life. I have to do this. Im tired of being held captive by my own body. By this time next year? Im gonna be free! Free to live, Free to be ME, THE REAL ME.
Janeen
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. . . so glad you've decided to join us on the long and sometimes very bumpy road to better health and fitness.
