[Alle]

Hi Everyone!

I have recently joined these forums to help get my motivation and inspirations back! I realize its the Holidays, and starting to change my life at this exact time is not going to be easy, but why wait 30 more days? What do I have to loose but maybe a few lbs or at least not gain till the Holidays are over!

A little about me, I have been heavy most of life. My top weight being 322lbs. January of 2005 I started my journey of changing my life. I changed my eating habits, worked out. I loved the way it felt to actually be able to tie my shoes, or to have my feet not swell! In March of 2007 I was down to 180lbs. The thinnest I think I had ever been! Not even since high school did I remember my body having that shape and feeling so good!

So what happens next? I get cocky, start a new relationship, move out of state away from family and friends, go back to school to start a career I actually enjoy instead of just having a "job" AND gain weight. So I gained all the positive things in life I had wanted but let my health fail again..

Here I am starting over, depressed and discouraged that I let so much of what I worked so hard for just jump back onto my body. I am now currently at 255lbs. I can gain weight like crazy! But it takes forever to loose it. I have a closet full of clothes that do not fit, I refuse to go any bigger then a size 18. I actually bought my first size 12 at my lowest and I was so happy!

What happened? How did I do this to my body yet once again? I cannot seem to get my motivation back. I am depressed but its not enough to get me going. So I joined these forums. I remember during my previous journey I belonged to a similiar forum and used to write alot about my progress. I realized then that it was more of a mental attitude I had achieved and that was making my progress successful. Now to achieve that attitude again..

Thanks for listening to my story! I hope to be getting to know your stories as well!

~Alle~