Good Evening to all of you lovely ladies!
I have been following this website for the past few years for some of the recipes and tips on the journals and blogs that all of your powerful women use to help support yourselves and each other. Now, it is my turn to reach out and ask for your support in giving me courage at this time which is beginning to get smaller and smaller by the day.
I guess I will start off by just telling a little bit of a background of myself. This is really kind of important to me since I don't really share my weight history with many people. But, right now I feel the need to get it off of my chest and I don't have a lot of people that would understand and see where I'm coming from with this; so please bare with me.
In May of 2002, I graduated high school at 166 lbs. I was 5'1" and did not realize that I had an eating disorder that made me not want to eat and when I did I felt so guilty about it that I would vomit. I realized I kept gaining weight because in my small town, the high school kids, especially seniors, drank a lot. Because I would spend about 5 nights a week drinking to the point of intoxication I would never protest when there was a fast food stop along the way of our adventure. So, I not only screwed up my metabolism by not eating, I also added on the empty beer calories and the high-fat of my late-night hangover preventors.
Going to college that fall changed things dramatically for me since I was now a busy 20 credit per semester Pre-Med student. I only drank 3 times my first semester but my eating habits were still not normal. I did manage to drop from 166 to 130 in a matter of 2 months and maintained that weight pretty constistanly until I over stressed myself and ended up getting very sick with a bacterial virus that made me lose 13 lbs in 6 days.
I was always a built "healthy looking" girl since I was young but it was after my virus that I realized that 117 lbs was the average weight I was supposed to be for my height according to the Body Mass Index (BMI)
That was almost 3 years ago now. Wow, has time flew by! Anyway, In Feb 08 I flew to Germany to see my husband who is stationed there with the Air Force before he deployed to Iraq for a year. Me being a med-student I couldn't just pick up and follow him over there and I think I would've broke the bank if I was left in Europe for a year unsupervised!
We decided to backpack through Italy for 2 weeks while I was in Europe for a month and man was that ever the wrong thing to do! My eating habits went completely out of the window! We were eating late and drinking wine and the gelato really is to die for over there! My husband Ray is a tall skinny full blown chinese guy who weighs maybe 142lbs soaking wet. While we lived together he was very good about making me stay active by us spending our time walking or working out in someway. With him gone, I have focused more on school and trying not to burn out of medicine. Because of this, I turn to my true solace that I have had over the years...food. I wasn't allowed to have a lot of fast food type stuff when I was younger so whenever I do get the chance to have it, I inhale it all especially french fries, they are truely evil and my one weakness! And just as they always have, McDonalds has made me feel better with every bite, until after I am finished with it and the regret starts to kick in.
So, to make a longer story a little bit shorter, since March of this year I have started to pack on about 30 extra lbs. I finally got the wake up call yesterday when I ripped out the crotch in my favorite work khakis while I was lifting my leg. I know that I need to do something about it now or else it is only going to get worse. I am hoping that this website is going to help me do that but getting active again even if it is just 20 mins to do pilates or eating my homemade salad that I brought instead of ordering pizza with the study group. I have just kind of bottled all of that emotion up for awhile and really didn't have anyone to talk to about it.
I do thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts. I feel even more empowered now that I have said that and gotten it out in the air. Thank you for taking the time and reading a part of my life who makes me part of who I am today. Have a wonderful night!
Strength and Encouragement
to 3FC. You've found a great place for support and information. We're glad you decided to join the forum. Look around and join groups that fit your life. There's a lot of hope here! 
for you at this time with your husband deployed. He's a true patriot and you are as well for your dedication while he's gone. Prayers for both of you.
