[AJ113]

Originally Posted by djay

I have had some support from family and friends. If I start having feelings that are not based in reality I will certainly go to counseling. I have had a rough time and made some bad choices about how to make myself feel better and I agree that my self esteem has taken a beating. I think the best way to address that is to relearn what will make me feel better...and it isn't a package of cookie dough!

Good attitude djay! I went through a really bad time a few years ago and my self esteem hit the ground. I started to rebuild it by going back to basics, taking time with personal grooming each day, buying and wearing nice clothes, looking as good as possible. These things began to have an effect on my self esteem and I was able to continue the process by starting to eat healthy foods and exercise each day.

Sounds like you are dealing with esteem well, I'm sure that will continue as you get support from the peeps here.

[waterfall1437]

Hi Djay,

I just joined myself yesterday, so hearing your story gives me hope that we can do this together. I need all the support too that I can get myself. This is a good time for us to start caring for ourselves and get a new optimism. Having been in a depression since my now ex-husband left me in 2004, my heart goes out to you after losing both your father and your husband. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know.

[Carrie3146]

Originally Posted by djay

I felt good about today. I went out to dinner and didn't blow it! I ordered a salad so I didn't come here and make excuses!
How did you do? Keep in touch and let's rock this weight loss thing!
D

Good for you! How was today? I'm doing OK too. A little nervous about the next two days, as I'm going out to lunch with a friend tomorrow, and dinner with another friend on Thursday. Those will be my first sit-down restaurant meals since I've started. But I think I can handle it!! Luckily they are both good people, and I think they will encourage me once they know I'm trying.

That's the good thing about this forum: all the genuine friendly support. It really helps. Have you told people around you in "real life" about your dieting? I've only told a handful, but that has been helpful too.

Carol

[djay]

Originally Posted by Carrie3146

Good for you! How was today? I'm doing OK too. A little nervous about the next two days, as I'm going out to lunch with a friend tomorrow, and dinner with another friend on Thursday. Those will be my first sit-down restaurant meals since I've started. But I think I can handle it!! Luckily they are both good people, and I think they will encourage me once they know I'm trying.

That's the good thing about this forum: all the genuine friendly support. It really helps. Have you told people around you in "real life" about your dieting? I've only told a handful, but that has been helpful too.

Carol

Hi Carol,
I havn't told any one yet except this forum. I have said so many times that I needed to lose weight and havn't done it so I quit saying it. I would love for people to just notice one day.
I know you can make the right choices at lunch tomorrow and that will give you the confidence to do the same when you go out to dinner. I hope you will let me know tomorrow how you did. I would love to celebrate such a big success with you!
D

[Carrie3146]

Originally Posted by djay

Hi Carol,
I havn't told any one yet except this forum. I have said so many times that I needed to lose weight and havn't done it so I quit saying it. I would love for people to just notice one day.
I know you can make the right choices at lunch tomorrow and that will give you the confidence to do the same when you go out to dinner. I hope you will let me know tomorrow how you did. I would love to celebrate such a big success with you!
D

Thanks for asking. I did OK! I ordered a salad, and that's all I ate, even though that bread kept calling my name! How about you? How'd you make out today?

I'm finding now that the more people I tell, the more motivated I am to stick with it. Makes it seem more "real" somehow.

Tomorrow will be a late night for me, so we'll see how that goes.

[djay]

Hi Carol,
I think maybe you are doing the right thing by telling every one. I don't want to embarassed if I fail, so I havn't been telling people. Maybe this approach is giving me permission to fail. I didn't do well today and I am struggling to leave it there and nort make it worse tonight just because I already messed up today.
I'm really glad to hear about your success! I had 15 minutes of satisfaction and feel terrible for the rest of the night. You spent a few minutes doing the right thing for yourself and get to feel good all evening! You are my inspiration for tomorrow. I want to get that proud feeling back too!
D

[southofriver]

Djay, it sounds to me like you are doing well despite all the trouble you've had. Learning to love salad has got to be a good start! Best of luck for your weight loss.

[Carrie3146]

You can do it Djay! Take baby steps if you have to...I feel like the more steps I take, even to just think about a single ingredient...it starts you thinking in a different way.

One thing that's been helpful to me is looking at the steps involved in something I saw on Oprah a few weeks ago. It's not a "diet plan" exactly, but a "lifestyle change" plan. Here's the link: http://www.thebestlife.com/ms/mvchal...m_welcome.html

I have gone back a few times and looked at the steps, and I find myself doing more and more of them every few days without even fully realizing it.

Yesterday I knew I was going out to dinner, so I only had some fruit salad for lunch and a small snack in the afternoon. But I didn't go nuts at dinner. I had a pretty sensible and healthy meal. Probably a few more calories than I would have had at home on my plan, but I didn't worry about it because I knew it was nothing "bad" for me, plus I'd even planned for it. And when my friend (who is eight months pregnant and supposed to be gaining a bit more weight per her doctor) asked if I wanted any desert, I said I would have a taste of whatever she ordered. And that's what I did. I had a forkul of the most delicious thing ever (in the past, I've eaten this particular item at this restaurant many times by myself!). You know what? I actually felt really satisfied, because I'd HAD that taste of something so good, but I was still able to be really proud of myself for not going overboard. I would not have been able to do that even a week or two ago.

I'm honestly feeling more confident every day. Just start slow..make one change here, one change there. We'll all help you in any way we can!!