I hope I can stick to it this time...
Hello all...
I joined this site because I'm simply at my wits end. I turn 30 in less then a month and I'm 3 pounds away from 200. I'm scared. I'm scared of being fat and alone for the rest of my life. From the outside, I have it all - amazing friends, an awesome job, etc. However, on this inside my weight has killed my self esteem. Ten years ago, I was in killer shape and was very happy with myself. Over the past 5 years, I've gained 40 pounds and gone up 8 dress sizes (having a long term boyfriend call me fat and ugly every day for 2 of those years didn't help any!) I'm hoping that hitting the 200 pound mark will be the slap in the face I really need.
I do not work a typical work schedule and do not have a typical job. This makes dieting, working out and sleeping well very difficult. (Has anyone else dealt with this and succeeded?) I've suffered from depression for years but have been off medication for about 3 years now. I'm thinking about going back on though. Every time I start a diet, I think "this time I'm REALLY going to do it." Then, I pull out of my development in right in to the drive thru!
I'm telling myself again that this time I'm going to do it. I just hope I can stick to it this time...
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. You've come to a great place for lots of support and encouragement, Chickie -- really glad that you found us. 
