Hiya Mama &
There are couple of very active groups that you should check out. You are NOT alone. There is the 300+ club & the 100 lb club. (Hey, check my stats... I'm a poster in both!)
First things first...
YOU ARE NOT YOUR WEIGHT. The second we judge ourselves by the numbers on the scale we give permission to every person we meet to do the same. You are a loving, caring, normal human being. With the same faults and needs and giving nature as everyone else. It might take you awhile to actually
believe this... but you have to start now. Feeling worthy... feeling as though you deserve respect and love (which you do!) will take time. I'm very sorry that someone so close to you chose to judge you falsely. I wish I could wipe away that sort of betrayal & pain. Let me tell you that there is no better revenge, no better motivation, than living well and loving yourself for
who you are.
Secondly, this is also for your mental health, have you thought about talking to someone professionally? You've been deeply hurt, and you will need to move on, but it's okay to want to talk about it. It's okay to need some help in order to move past it.
Now to the meat & potatoes of the weight loss. It's logically simple... in action, not so much. Eat less, exercise more. Now before you write this off, there are different methods of going about doing this.
Under Diet Central is a long list of different eating methods that people follow in order to control their food intake & portions. You may want to start with simple Calorie Counting. It's easy... it's cheap... and it'll give you a GOOD idea of what you're eating right this second even if you choose a different method for the long-haul. For just one day, write down how many calories you're eating. Pay attention to how many servings you're taking. No judging, no changing... just for a day. That's it
That's step one: Pay attention.
Once you've done that, I suggest the step-by-step approach. One small thing at a time. One permanent change at a time that will bring you closer to your goal & make you feel better. How about drinking water? Or getting enough fruits & vegetables? Or even taking a very short walk? Only one... then add on when you feel you've got a handle on the first change.
You'll find an eating method that works for you. There's plenty that you can do for exercise, but don't think that you have to dive into that right away... so this is more for a little later on. Short walks around the neighborhood. Maybe you have a treadmill? Or portions of an exercise video if you'd rather not go outside. There are plenty of beginners exercise videos.
You CAN do this. You are WORTH it. This is going to take more than just motivation, which is fleeting & unreliable. This is going to take determination, and
commitment. We don't lie about these things here, it will get hard, but you
will get through. We're all here for you. To listen to your problems, to help celebrate your triumphs (no matter how large or small for both
).
One step at a time, one pound at a time, we're getting healthier and getting closer to our goals.
Please, stay, look around. Keep posting and let us know if we can help.
Best of success!
Im looking for a new window of hope
) -- those are all HIS problems, not yours. If you are not comfortable with your weight, you've come to a great place. It's when we try to lose to please other people that we just aren't ready yet. Personally, I'm tired of not fitting in chairs,clothes and doorways -- not being able to keep up with my kids and not feeling "comfortable in my own skin" -- so I know I'm ready to lose weight for ME!!! 
)
