I need to get this out. . . . I have to admit to feeling irritated by the "I HAD A SLIVER OF CHEESE, NOW MY WHOLE LIFE IS RUINED AND I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ATE A SLIVER OF CHEESE!!!!!!" or the "I ONLY LOST 1 POUND THIS WEEK AND NOW I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ONLY LOST A POUND!!!!" posts we get here (too) frequently.
Really? You "need[ed]" to say this? This post was started by someone looking for support and you turned it into something about YOU and YOUR frustrations. If you truly needed to say something, I would gently offer that perhaps you should have started your own post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desafinado
I have a hard time empathizing with the level of panic those messages display because I don't understand it.
Perhaps, then, you should hold back--or respond with sympathy--something that only requires compassion, instead of shared experience.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desafinado
To repeat the old cliche: it's a marathon not a sprint. .
Based on your above comments about commitment and sacrifice, it was this comment that really surprised me. Have you ever run a marathon? The day of the race is really not all that relevant. It is the training that is important and that teaches you lessons of discipline and endurance. The poster's question is one that actually makes a lot of sense in the context of marathon training. When you first start running, you learn a lot about your body. For example, you learn about pace. You start out running pretty fast, but then you learn that you have to keep some in reserves to complete the run. You also learn about listening to your body. You discover the exhiliration of a good workout, but you also experience days when, for no good reason, your body doesn't perform the way you anticipated. Another thing you learn about is discipline. Sometimes you can't keep up with your training schedule because life gets in the way. Or an injury. Or maybe you are just lazy and skip a run. You may experience feelings of guilt or anger or dissappointment. Or pride when you push through and actually complete your run. The poster's comment most reminded me of this phase. Her comment is valid. Her experience is valid. Just because you have not experienced the same feelings she is going through does not warrant brushing them off.
Nicely said benice. I also talked about myself, but tried to show how I go through same feelings at times and how i deal. I find it funny that the people who do have cheating issues and start threads etc. are responded to by the same people that turn around and complain about whining. If these things bother you why are you trying to help the "whiners". Can't we be nice about it?
Really? You "need[ed]" to say this? This post was started by someone looking for support and you turned it into something about YOU and YOUR frustrations. If you truly needed to say something, I would gently offer that perhaps you should have started your own post.
Perhaps, then, you should hold back--or respond with sympathy--something that only requires compassion, instead of shared experience.
Based on your above comments about commitment and sacrifice, it was this comment that really surprised me. Have you ever run a marathon? The day of the race is really not all that relevant. It is the training that is important and that teaches you lessons of discipline and endurance. The poster's question is one that actually makes a lot of sense in the context of marathon training. When you first start running, you learn a lot about your body. For example, you learn about pace. You start out running pretty fast, but then you learn that you have to keep some in reserves to complete the run. You also learn about listening to your body. You discover the exhiliration of a good workout, but you also experience days when, for no good reason, your body doesn't perform the way you anticipated. Another thing you learn about is discipline. Sometimes you can't keep up with your training schedule because life gets in the way. Or an injury. Or maybe you are just lazy and skip a run. You may experience feelings of guilt or anger or dissappointment. Or pride when you push through and actually complete your run. The poster's comment most reminded me of this phase. Her comment is valid. Her experience is valid. Just because you have not experienced the same feelings she is going through does not warrant brushing them off.
Yes, I did. Again, we all need different things to make us successful, but I don't find it productive to spend time scrolling past several repetitive threads/comments of people saying OMGGGGGGGGGGGG I ONLY LOST ONE POUND THIS WEEK I AM STALLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! only to have the same people respond, no, you aren't stalled, one pound is still a loss. People know this, they do! They had to have read the other 30,000 posts saying the same thing. I want to see recipes, tips for success when traveling and so on -- that's what I come here for. I guess you come here for something else.
Finally, while you didn't appreciate it there were others who did by a quick glance at the thread.
Have a better day.
Last edited by Desafinado; 03-18-2013 at 04:39 PM.
I'm fairly sure that what I'm about to write is going to be taken the wrong way by some posters but I need to get this out.
Obviously we all work differently and need different motivations but I have to admit to feeling irritated by the "I HAD A SLIVER OF CHEESE, NOW MY WHOLE LIFE IS RUINED AND I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ATE A SLIVER OF CHEESE!!!!!!" or the "I ONLY LOST 1 POUND THIS WEEK AND NOW I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ONLY LOST A POUND!!!!" posts we get here (too) frequently.
I have a hard time empathizing with the level of panic those messages display because I don't understand it. Losing weight and getting healthy is a serious matter and requires sacrifice, but it's a day-by-day, meal-by-meal, bite-by-bite thing and one stumble doesn't negate all the success you have had so far. To repeat the old cliche: it's a marathon not a sprint.
So let's all relax, relate and release *cleansing breath* and go back to doing the best we can day-by-day, meal-by-meal, bite-by-bite.
I just have to say a big AMEN! to this post, because I've been feeling this way since I started on this forum, and IP.
I HATE hearing about "cheats" and "guilt".
Sometimes I think a lot of these posters on this forum are inventing eating disorders because of their psychotic view of IP and their fear of their coaches, or coming on this forum to "confess".
Get back on plan, write off the bad day and move on. You have to deal with eating healthy the rest of your life, one tiny speed bump is just that, a speed bump. And stop feeling guilty.
Thanks, everyone. I realize today after reading all your responses that there is a lot of forgiveness in the program as well.
I do need to adopt the attitude of one-day-at-a-time. I also had an epiphany about my worry over being out of ketosis: It's not like I can never get back in to ketosis. Of course I can, I just need to forgive it and move on.
Just a reminder. This is a peer support forum. Everyone is an individual and not everyone knows what you know. Sometimes they need reassurance that things are ok, or even a swift kick in the behind for some. Don't assume it's always the swift kick in the behind.
Just a reminder. This is a peer support forum. Everyone is an individual and not everyone knows what you know. Sometimes they need reassurance that things are ok, or even a swift kick in the behind for some. Don't assume it's always the swift kick in the behind.
Addressing perfectionism wrt weight loss is something more than anyone can do in a brief posting on a message board. When I was part of Dr. Arthur Frank's weight loss program, he had a psychiatrist on staff who actually taught a class (multiple weeks, forget how long exactly) on it. They address the psychological aspect of getting past when you are not perfect in your eating control and are trying to get you out of the 'all or nothing' mentality.
From an IP perspective, this is not a "sometimes" protocol, they are pretty up front in the beginning that you can't cheat and that some foods are off limits entirely for the duration (as opposed to plans like Weight Watchers that tell you you can have anything but in measurable quantities.) So a lack of 'perfectionism' on this diet is just going to extend the weight loss phase. I prefer to get it over with, but just my view.
Last edited by AlisonS; 03-19-2013 at 09:42 AM.
Reason: I had put 'psychologist' but it was actually a psychiatrist.
And many on this forum do want to just get it over with, so are very strict within the protocol. And that is fine. I am fine with the fact that this won't be my last diet ever, it's pretty much my first official run at a diet and even with the cost I am fine with coming back when I need to do a reboot. That is what I choose, so I set smaller goals and will be allowing myself to go out and have fun too. This for me is not a 12 step program and life changing event. It is just part of my life right now, then it won't be, then hopefullly it will be again. This to some may be insanity, but its not to me. And I kinda thought that there was a 100% forum for no cheat discussions. Like ragdoll said it is a support forum for all the different ways people tackle this program and get through their day to day issues.
My weight gain and issues are emotional. I assume most of us are in the same situation. Don't dwell on it. It is all in you rear view mirror. Learn from what you've been through and move on. I know when I'm stressed/upset that is when I am at my most vulnerable. I also know when I stay up too late that is when I over eat most. I need to get myself to bed at a decent hour and I deal with my other issues productively too. I try to read or listen to music I like to get past the craving. A big glass of ice water also helps me. We all need to find out what works best for us. Another big one for me is 3fc, I turn here when I am struggling, I read and post. The support really helps!
