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Old 06-13-2012, 10:27 AM   #1  
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Default Diet Therapy Session

Ahem. *Stands on Soap Box* Ok, now I am ready!

I feel that talking about this may be of benefit to some people, myself included. It is up to you to decide if you want to listen or not but I don't want this side of weight loss to be neglected. Now, lets talk about the emotional side of dropping the extra pounds.

So many of us have dealt with being overweight or obese for much of our lifetime. But our extra pounds are simply a physical symptom of an illness that lies within. On this diet, we are dealing with the physical transformation.. but what about the mental one? What about the emotional transformation that we must undergo in order to keep our weight off?

For some reason in our lives, we turned to food. That reason will be different for every person. I am not asking that you share that reason, you can if you would like, but I want you to recognize it. I feel that if you do not come to the realization of what made you start eating in the first place, it will be much easier to pick up your bad habits as soon as you are off the diet. This diet will only cure the symptoms of the disease, not the underlying source.

So, please, think about what caused you to gain weight in the first place (and think very hard if you must). For some of you, the reason may be so deep within your brain that it is hard to uncover. For some it may be something exceptionally traumatic, and if it is then please get yourself some strong emotional support. For some it is easy to remember but not easy to discuss.

Losing weight will not solve our problems. We must work hard to do both at the same time or the weight loss will not be everlasting.

I am not meaning to be condescending. I am in the same exact position you are. This is a tale of caution, really. I went on the diet, lost a large amount of weight and once I went off gained quite a bit back. I gained it back because I had dealt with what I was eating but I had not dealt with what was eating me.

*Steps off soap box*

Thanks for reading.
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Old 06-13-2012, 10:55 AM   #2  
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This is so true! Thank you for sharing.. Every pound we lose has a story.
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Old 06-13-2012, 12:08 PM   #3  
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Thanks for posting this! I, too, went on the diet, lost 45 pounds over about 5 months and went on vacation, fell off the wagon, and have since gained about 20 pounds back. I am miserable right now and feel as though I am going crazy! I got so overwhelmed with trying to lose weight and failing (in my own mind) that I have just given up altogether.
Last night I was talking to my husband about how miserable I am lately. He just tells me to get back on track, but I am finding it so very hard to do that! I do really well until the afternoon and then I fall apart and basically binge.
I am seriously considering going to a therapist to find out why I do this to myself and how to stop.
Thanks for the words of wisdom!!
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Old 06-13-2012, 12:14 PM   #4  
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Awesome post Lalison.

I think we all can relate.

Thanks for sharing!
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Old 06-13-2012, 12:19 PM   #5  
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What a great post!

Just today I had a startling realization that has cleared up why I seem to start and stop diets every other week: I don't believe, I mean truly believe, that it's possible for me to reach my goal weight.

I think this is a combination of my PCOS and many previous failures (which adds an extra level of difficulty to weight loss which is poor hormone regulation) or my ever changing view of myself... one day I'm proud to be "curvy" and the next I'm almost in tears about the fact that I now have cellulite when I squeeze my stomach (did anyone even know this was possible??!) Regardless, I need to change this attitude, or I'm just going to keep starting and stoping and will prove myself right. The ideal would be to try to strengthen the mind while working on the physical.

Well said (er, written), Lalison.
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Old 06-13-2012, 01:43 PM   #6  
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I've been heavy since I can remember. I look back on childhood pictures and I was probably 8 when I was at a "normal" weight, but then something happened and I gained and gained.

I know a huge factor was my childhood babysitter- instead of making us lunch we were given bags of chips, candy bars, and soda. I think from there it became a learned behavior (dessert every night after dinner, crap lunches, cereal for breakfast- sugar, sugar, fat, fat, fat, sugar).

Eating like that you're always hungry because you body isn't getting what it needs, so then I overate when a meal was actually prepared, which led to that overeating cycle.

In 2001 when I had my gastric Bypass (at 305lbs and 17 1/2 years old) I had to re-learn food. It was probably the best thing I ever did for myself, but then it brought out a lot of baggage. I remember as an early teen being VERY close to being raped and I know that led me to eat so I wouldn't been seen as attractive. I had to deal with that BIG TIME when I lost 150lbs from the bypass. Being thin makes you very vulnerable. Now I was desirable and ... well, it was hard. I wanted to be desired, but was scared. I got hurt a LOT, but I learned that life is about ENJOYING the food. Believe me, I enjoy eating, but I want to eat high quality food that just melts in your mouth!

I gained my recent weight when I got pregnant. Since my bypass I have successfully kept everything off, besides when I've been pregnant. I had our last child 9 months ago and made the choice to do IP because I knew it worked fast. My goal from this is to get a whole "Mommy makeover" to get my excess skin removed, but thats a few years away.

I have learned that you can either live life or it will live you. I'm living. I enjoy every day and face issues head on. I look for things that give me joy and do them as often as I can.

/end of soapbox
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Old 06-13-2012, 02:57 PM   #7  
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Thank you so much for posting this Lalison. Being desirable and having to deal with what comes with that is problematic NOVA The other issue (major) effecting maintaining my previous weight loss, is that I begin to look like my alcoholic (deceased) mother (abandonment, other emotions issues related to her). I plan on seeking professional help when the mother issue is back.

Last edited by qsuzi1; 06-13-2012 at 02:59 PM.
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Old 06-13-2012, 03:24 PM   #8  
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I just don't know about this "try to find the reason you are overweight" business.!

We diet, we regain, we diet again. So many of us know how to diet, at least by my age (middle age, anyhow). WHY do we gain weight time after time..
Yes there may be underlying emotional reasons to overeat, and it is helpful to identify them BUT the fact remains--food tastes good and we must eat everyday! A donut tastes better than a boiled egg, corn on the cobb with butter and salt tastes BETTER than greens and low fat dressing, pizza more than a chicken breast....chocolate bar better than an apple.....
Yes, we must learn to receive satisfaction from sources other than food, but the fact remains that food which makes us gain weight tastes pretty darn good and is often more readily accessible than healthier options.

Eating healthy and well takes concentrated effort all the time. Our culture makes it just too easy to choose unhealthy and fattening alternatives, then we feel guilty or stressed for choosing them. Thus, the multi-billion dollar weight loss business in America!
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Old 06-13-2012, 04:09 PM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elizabethjk View Post
Eating healthy and well takes concentrated effort all the time. Our culture makes it just too easy to choose unhealthy and fattening alternatives, then we feel guilty or stressed for choosing them. Thus, the multi-billion dollar weight loss business in America!
100% agree!

Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever let up and I'm in the high focus and high passion about my weight right now. I've had people actually say "I can't wait for you to be passionate about baseball or camping again instead of your diet". I get where they are coming from and I probably will try to modify how and what I talk to them about. But I don't think I can ever let up...not if I want to stay where I am.

Just a thought - I really enjoyed and still enjoy the Beck Diet Solution, it's a book about changing your behaviour to food. She's on facebook, you can 'like' her and everyday there is a daily thought that shows up in your newsfeed. I like her quite often so that I continually see her motivational tips.

I'm 98% sure that I know why I was heavy and it's nothing I actually share but at least it's identified in my head I still have those issues, I'm just managing them now (ulitmately they never really do go away I don't think).

HOWEVER, sugar is a drug. Try to quit smoking while still smoking. Or detox from alcohol when you still have to drink. So to double quote Elizabethjk - Eating healthy and well takes concentrated effort all the time.

Last edited by Ishbel; 06-13-2012 at 06:01 PM.
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Old 06-13-2012, 04:11 PM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lalison View Post
I went on the diet, lost a large amount of weight and once I went off gained quite a bit back.
I agree with your post, but this sentence stood out to me. "Once I went off gained back quite a bit back".

Having been in maintenance for the past 6 months, I can tell you with utter certainty that you never go "OFF" a diet. I could not have kept my weight off if I didn't completely change the way I eat, the way I view food and without watching everything I put in my mouth. I cannot ever go back to eating the way that I was, otherwise I WILL gain my weight back.

This is about changing your lifestyle, cliche as that sounds. My daily lifestyle is still relatively low carb, albeit not as drastic as P1 or P2, but I consistantly chose lower carb options. I still pass up most treats and snacks that come through my office and still save higher carb items (pastry, pizza, pasta, etc...) for my free day. On a daily basis I, get most of my carbs from fruit and veggies and limited complex carbs and try to eat a good, clean diet.

I do believe that there are some deep rooted issues that we all have to deal with when losing weight and accepting weight loss, but a lot of the mental shift comes with accepting the fact that none of us are going to be the type of person who can eat what they want, when they want. We will all have to watch what we eat for the rest of our lives. When you can accept this, you will find peace and success.

And if you ever pop into the maintainers thread, you will see that losing weight is winning the battle, but maintaining it is winning the war. We all struggle with the mental aspect of maintaining more than anything. Constantly figuring out what you can eat and not gain, what makes you gain instantly (for me, wheat) and wrapping your brain around our new lifestyle.
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Old 06-13-2012, 05:40 PM   #11  
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Ishbel, thanks for the information about Beck Diet Solution. Jennydoodle, great comments and kudos to you for your continued maintenance.
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Old 06-13-2012, 05:42 PM   #12  
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https://www.facebook.com/BeckDietSolution

For those who want to "like" the page.

With that said, I know I'm an emotional eater, a boredom eater, and a "pleasure seeker" eater (i eat food to feel full, thus happy). Learning not to be an emotional eater will be hard, a boredom eater mildly difficult, and breaking my pleasure seeker behavior will probably be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, including losing the weight in the first place (not hungry = no reason to eat and feel full, need to be hungry to be able to eat enough to feel good).

DH and I actually had a "talk" about life after my diet when I get to that point, about how I HATE cooking and so we go out to eat because he ALSO hates cooking, but at least I'll do it. He said when I was off the diet I'd quit cooking. I told him I couldn't because if I stopped cooking, I'd regain all the weight I'm working so hard to lose.
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Old 06-13-2012, 09:04 PM   #13  
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Originally Posted by Elizabethjk View Post
I just don't know about this "try to find the reason you are overweight" business.!!
I understand that you don't feel you have an emotional issue behind your weight gain but some of us really do. I understand that what is true for me is not always true for others. I was merely reaching out to those who do have an issue. I certainly didn't say that I think everyone does. But for some of us, we can't say that we just chose unhealthy food over healthy food. It's more than that.
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Old 06-13-2012, 09:20 PM   #14  
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Originally Posted by rbtemplet View Post
Thanks for posting this! I, too, went on the diet, lost 45 pounds over about 5 months and went on vacation, fell off the wagon, and have since gained about 20 pounds back. I am miserable right now and feel as though I am going crazy!
Thanks for the words of wisdom!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuiriGirl View Post
What a great post!

Just today I had a startling realization that has cleared up why I seem to start and stop diets every other week: I don't believe, I mean truly believe, that it's possible for me to reach my goal weight.

Well said (er, written), Lalison.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NOVAScents View Post
I have learned that you can either live life or it will live you. I'm living. I enjoy every day and face issues head on. I look for things that give me joy and do them as often as I can.

/end of soapbox
Quote:
Originally Posted by qsuzi1 View Post
Thank you so much for posting this Lalison. Being desirable and having to deal with what comes with that is problematic NOVA The other issue (major) effecting maintaining my previous weight loss, is that I begin to look like my alcoholic (deceased) mother (abandonment, other emotions issues related to her). I plan on seeking professional help when the mother issue is back.

Thanks for sharing your stories! It's really inspiring to hear what some people have overcome.
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:09 PM   #15  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lalison View Post
I understand that you don't feel you have an emotional issue behind your weight gain but some of us really do. I understand that what is true for me is not always true for others. I was merely reaching out to those who do have an issue. I certainly didn't say that I think everyone does. But for some of us, we can't say that we just chose unhealthy food over healthy food. It's more than that.
Lalison....thank you for sharing your feelings regarding this subject. I agree with you 100% and that the real reason for gaining weight to begin with needs to be dealt with. I have been thinking along these same lines for the past few weeks as I don't want to go back where I started.
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