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Old 06-14-2011, 09:01 PM   #1  
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Default Close to goal and struggling

Good evening everyone, I am usually so motivated and full of energy but now that I am super close to goal I am struggling and have made some bad mistakes with food. Before IP, I struggled with an eating disorder for many years and I was so proud and relieved that IP helped me end it once and for all, or so I thought. This is really embarassing and hard to say, but for the last week or so, I have been binging and purging again and I am so scared. I do make sure that it is either before or well after I have gotten all of my "protocol" foods in but it does not make it right and I do not want to go back to that way of living. So now I got the deep dark secret out and any advice or words of wisdom would be appreciated
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Old 06-14-2011, 09:06 PM   #2  
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No advice...

But it's probably fear. You've done it! You've set out and accomplished your goal, and now your afraid what that means to your everyday life. Currently IP has been your life line..it's regulated what and when to eat, and now that you are getting to the end..your brain is saying "Now what?" So you're rebelling against yourself.
,
If you have the means..I'd really go see a counselor, if I were you. You need to get to the root of your fear, and learn to deal with it, that is not so harmful.
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Old 06-14-2011, 09:07 PM   #3  
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I find it so brave of you to come public with this secret. I am certain that you are not alone. I do not have any advice but I am a binger (but I do not purge - although I have serioulsy considered crossing that line in the past). I am hoping that I have resolved my problem but only time will tell.

From what I understand, I think it might be about control. You have been in control through IP but as you phase off, you may feel that you are loosing some of that control over your body, which you need so badly. I think you can be in control and that is what phases III and IV are all about but they aren't as "black & white" as the former phases and that can be scary.

I hope you find the advice and help that you seek. The only thing I can think of is some counseling/coaching if you have that available to you.

In the meanwhile, I am sending you a

Last edited by Susie_Bee; 06-14-2011 at 09:11 PM.
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Old 06-14-2011, 09:14 PM   #4  
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I'm in awe of your transparency & courage in wanting to talk about this. You've already lessened the power this has over you by bringing it out in the open. I agree with MInewgoal & Susie - if there's any way for you to get counseling for this, please do it. We're here for you, but you need someone with tools that we don't have! *hugs*
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Old 06-14-2011, 09:25 PM   #5  
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You are all so amazing to responding to me in my time of need. I did have counseling for this issue and while my therapist helped me get through other issues, we never quite broke through this one. It is really hard to be truthful about an eating disorder when you talk to someone face-to-face. I think I will just take the encouragement you have all just given me and start a new day tomorrow. I either have to beat this demon head on or commit myself to a place that would watch me 24/7. The latter is not an option! I will beat this and it felt good to be open and honest to those that I have been in this journey with together.
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Old 06-14-2011, 09:35 PM   #6  
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Post Hang in there! There is hope!!!

Hello,

I recently started going through something very similar and then I read this powerful article online called The Weight Loss Management Psychology, by Malcolm Baptiste and it worked!

In just one week I FINALLY had control of the self destructive thoughts and behavior and the negative self-talk I think we all go thru when we mess up!

But now I have it! And now I understand why I sabotage myself!!!

Hang in there!
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Old 06-15-2011, 04:37 AM   #7  
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Being someone who binged and purged and starved and binged for years before getting healing..i learned that you need to look at this binging/purging as a choice..

You have a chocie to make..you can choose to eat healthy, exercise and live moment by moment and CHOOSE LIFE! oR... you can binge and purge and you can destroy your insides of your body including your voice,your esophagus and stomach and rid your body of nutrients which can result in CHOOSING DEATH!

See..people can give you advice and we can say "go to counselling" and you can see therapists and meditation specialists and blah blah blah..but in the end..even after having emotional healing for your life through talking..You still have to choose to wake up every day..and you still have to choose to say "yes im going to choose life! or no im going to choose death".. This may sound harsh girl, but this is the truth...You have a choice..Just like we have a choice to wake up and choose Joy or to wake up and be grumpy..

So what are you going to choose today? And remember..your choice..is for today..because tommorow is a new day..and tommorow you will be faced with making the same decision..One step at a time.
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Old 06-17-2011, 02:41 PM   #8  
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You are so right about it being a choice and I have come to understand that
over-eating is a lot like drinking too much! It is a futile attempt to fill an empty void caused by something we are afraid to actually deal with.

What I have learned by understanding the psychology behind weight loss is that until I deal with the cause of the void, I will constantly return to food or whatever vice I use to try to fill the void.

Understanding this has allowed me to finally understand that food will not get it! Because of this new found knowledge I am now able to let food simply be food and not medicine, not comfort, not my friend! Just food!

Today I chose success!

Let us be encouraged and continue towards our goal!

Here's to your success! Check out my 3FC blog called "Brand New Me"
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Old 06-17-2011, 04:41 PM   #9  
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Default Me too...I feel like I am STUCK!!!!!

i CAN'T GO BELOW 130 i just feel like i am freaking stuck!!!!!! it is very frustrating since spending all the money every week.....


I have 16 more pounds to go but it seem like it is impossible!!!!!!!
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Old 06-17-2011, 05:20 PM   #10  
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Well, usually restricting calories could be a trigger for (starting) or having an ED flare-up. So, I think it's probably normal that those tendencies seem to be coming back. If you've dealt with this for a while, I'm sure you know that it's probably something that might always be in your life... lurking, but you can always beat it, as you have already done! I think it would be ok to take a few days off if you think that that will help you regain your balance. You can always restart the program! If you don't want to stop the program, then add a couple of packets for a few days, and once you feel you've regained your strength, you can resume your normal routine.

I hope you are well
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Old 06-17-2011, 07:59 PM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TWoww View Post
Good evening everyone, I am usually so motivated and full of energy but now that I am super close to goal I am struggling and have made some bad mistakes with food. Before IP, I struggled with an eating disorder for many years and I was so proud and relieved that IP helped me end it once and for all, or so I thought. This is really embarassing and hard to say, but for the last week or so, I have been binging and purging again and I am so scared. I do make sure that it is either before or well after I have gotten all of my "protocol" foods in but it does not make it right and I do not want to go back to that way of living. So now I got the deep dark secret out and any advice or words of wisdom would be appreciated
As you probably already know, you need to see a health care professional and get referral to councilor and/or medication. Hope you get help soon. You have a serious health issue.sorry to hear that.
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