Thanks everyone

yes, it feels good inside and out. Knowing you worked for it....you busted your ***, literally. Those nights when you were hungry and passed up something and ate healthy, made a better or best choice. Those times at work or when you were out or at a family thing when you had to endure the bs of why you were not eating someone's dessert that had way too many calories or a ton of fat you did not want or need at that time......it is all worth in the end, trust me on that one.
I started off getting up in my psychiatrist's face with my bloodwork results and literally yelling at him that I was going to die by the time I hit 50, I demanded we work on med changes together with my family doc and did not budge on that one....I told him I would fire his *** if we could not get on the same page and I liked him as a psych doc.....anyway, we tinkered with meds and I began to chart every darn bite I put in my mouth which really sucked at first. I measured everything and I came here for support on a daily basis. I did not post a whole lot at first but I would read recipes, re-educate myself on nutrition, portion control, water intake, yada yada, more veggies, more fruit, less fat, less carbs, more of a balance, more exercise.....little changes here and there, day by day.
I am lucky to have a friend who is a dietician who took the time and sat down with me for several hours over the course of several days and we made huge lists of foods I like.....I like almost all foods, ****, I like to eat, who doesn't. She encouraged me to stick more to foods that were healthy that I liked.....duh, I added more fruit, like I buy more fruit and veggies now and actually cook now......eating breakfast was a big thing for me to learn to do, which took about six months to become habit, I still have to almost force myself to eat a bit of oatmeal with fruit or sometimes a sandwich or leftover spaghetti for breakfast.
Along the way I discovered I have issues eating gluten, I don't have Celiac disease and was tested twice for that but it does tend to make me feel sick so I avoid it most days......I rarely eat fast food which was really hard to do, really hard to skip that convenience.....I do Subway about once a week and that is it. I drink 2 liters of water a day, plus herbal teas, cut out the diet soda, drink a bit of coffee, almost no milk, some almond milk for beverages.....not much alcohol either.
I kind of snack or graze during the say, 4 to 6 smaller meals during the day. I take old people vitamins, omega-3, calcium and cat's claw supplements plus my psych meds (I have bipolar or unipolar mania, depends on who you ask, doctor-wise, lol)....I hate exercise but walk some and dance around my place to music for about an hour a day, just lightly, nothing too strenuous. I do eat reduced fat things, i can't stand non-fat things. I read labels and avoid trans fat, sugar, and went to some free diabetic diet classes at local hospitals, even though im not diabetic.
Don't beat yourself up and please don't let yourself get discouraged, stay focused on the big picture.....if you have a bad plan day, just get back on it, it is ok. This took me over two whole years....over two years! And celebrate the mini-goals, i did things like bought myself craft supplies, so I would look forward to getting 'stuff' LOL

Get a new skirt or some cool shoes or a CD or something special just for you for each 5 pounds or 5 inches or whatever. I think it is important to keep those mini-goals celebrations going!!!! You can do this too.....you will.