Intuitive Eating: August 2014
 

Hello Gang! I thought I'd start our August thread!

Thanks Jensassy! I was totally coming here to do this, thanks for starting it!

I have nothing cool or exciting to report. :D

It was a good weekend. We got long john silvers for dinner and it really didn't taste good at all to me. Way too greasy and bland. Long John Silvers used to be a favorite of mine. I ate very little and then had ice cream and oreos for dessert. Its weird but at dinner time, I feel like I usually want things like desserts or a bowl of cereal rather than traditional dinner food.

I have been binge free for 2 weeks today. This is the longest I haven't binged since I was a young child.
I get urges after lunch and dinner that persist for up to an hour. Has anyone's urge gone away completely?

Welcome Brooke. I am virtually binge free. I still get urges to binge now and then which I see as a cue that some inner turmoil is not being dealt with effectively. Sometimes I indulge in these urges but it's nearly impossible for me to physically overeat in that manner anymore.

Which leads me to this question: is it possible that our stomach shrinks? I'm eating such little food these days. I can't even stomach the thought of eating 3 eggs for breakfast which used to be standard for years. I can't finish anything on my plate and I'm turning down favorite dishes left and right. It's so confusing, is there any merit to the shrinking stomach?

Yes, your stomach will shrink when you begin to eat less food. Your stomach when shrunk to it's proper size is about the size of a clenched fist. But good for you for eating less!!!

So far today I have done well. I try not to eat by the clock, but with diabetes it's a delicate balance of hunger and dropping blood sugar, so I try and eat so that I am hungry every 3 hours so as not to get my glucose too low. It is real hot down here! Am "off" today, which means I am running from here to there, laundry done, dishes done and spaghetti on the stove. Now onto paper work. Have a blessed day all.

I don't really feel a binge urge anymore. Sometimes if I get really really hungry in my head I think Eat ALL the things!!!! And I tell myself I can if want to but usually I end up needing to eat about 1/4 of what I had planned to eat. I think that is a big difference for me. I used to feel deprived so when I was really hungry I would keep eating even though I was full. Now, I don't feel deprived and so when Im not hungry anymore, I generally stop. Emotional eating is a bit different since Im not hungry at the time, but I still eat way less than I used to. I don't think I could classify it as a binge. I usually just pick a treat to eat like a bowl of ice cream with a brownie and eat it and then Im done.

I'm not sure I can say I haven't binged... But I can't say I have, either. I did have a couple of handfuls of potato chips tonight after dinner when my hubby was snacking on them. I didn't eat the whole bag or anything like I usually would, but I should've stopped with the one handful. But, for the first time I've eaten anything "non-diet-approved" since I recommitted to the healthy lifestyle, it certainly wasn't as bad as it could've been. :)

Tomorrow's another day. I'll start fresh in the morning

I feel this eat a lot. I don't really binge but sometimes I look at what I ate and think "I could've stopped eating a little sooner." It's a learnin process for sure.

So I had been doing really super well with no binging for quite some time and really didn't feel the urges unless I was not feeling well and even then I'd just have a few of the items that I wanted in the past.

Then this weekend, I went to GS camp. Which really in itself should be enough said but I did not get to pick anything that I wanted to eat at all and then since I had to be GF, my options were even less and not always that good (though they tried really hard). When I got home on Sunday, I ate the remaining 1/3 of a bag of peanut M&Ms. I heard the voice that told me to stop when I had, had enough but I was feeling so deprived that I just kept going telling myself that the weekend drove me over the edge.

At the end, I have no guilt about it. I wasn't taking care of myself because I couldn't while I was at camp and I'm learning new things about myself all the time. I'm so new to IE, that this form of deprivation really pushed me over the edge once I had options. I was also super tired (lack of sleep) and overexerted (20K steps in one day!). Hopefully NEXT year, I will not have this reaction but for now, it happened - no guilt, moving on.

It has felt good though NOT to binge for almost 2.5 months. The key for me is eating whatever I want when I'm hungry for it - or sometimes not because I just want it. No Deprivation = No Binging for me.

I totally agree Jensassy. Deprivation totally equals binging for me as well. Thats hard to be in a situation where you can't eat most of the food. I would have felt deprived too. It sounds like you did great and learned from your experience AND that you are being compassionate with yourself. I think that is seriously the most important thing.

So something I noticed last night. Nighttime tends to be the time I want to eat when not physically hungry but lately I haven't had the urge. I notice now that at night when I am sitting and in a tense situation or my husband and I are talking about something stressful I am automatically lowering my shoulders, unclenching my jaw and breathing more deeply. When I stress I tend to tense up my shoulders and clench my jaw. Anyway, I noticed that I was doing that while driving today, and its becoming a more automatic habit to release tension in this way. So my nighttime eating has pretty much dropped off entirely for now. I didn't start trying to relax so I wouldn't eat, it just happened that when I felt more relaxed, I didn't think of food automatically, and when I feel tense or stressed I think of trying to relax my body automatically instead of getting a hunger signal automatically. Its honestly kind of amazing. Its like a different pathway is being forged in my brain.

I'm truly amazed at how much being AWARE of what I'm eating has changed my perspective. Up until a month or so ago I would have been able to pass a lie detector test that I ate fairly well-- yes, I eat too much at times, but for the most part, I was pretty healthy.

BWAHAHAHAH!

Now, I see that even though I rarely ate a ton at meals, I ate ALL DAY LONG. And drank a butt-ton of calories (Mountain Dew obsession here). It was CRAZY. Like, meal-wise I was pretty much eating 1500-1800 calories which isn't bad. But, TBH, I was probably eating twice that much in grazing/drinking. So this is a new place for me, mentally. To be aware. To be honest... And... I like it.

I feel confident that if I work at it, I can succeed!

Ladies,

I've had some troubling health news of late. I've been having female troubles for some time and I'm getting an ultrasound on Tuesday. The doctors think it might be PCOS. The main treatment weight loss, healthy diet, and exercise. Staying away from sugar and super processed carbs is important. Basically I need to lose a lot of weight as quickly as possible in order to ward off some of the scary diseases associated with this syndrome (diabetes, heart disease, infertility). I think I'm going to go back to calorie counting for now until I get closer to my goal weight. I know that this is not an ideal way to treat my mental issues with food, but right now I've got to look out for my body. At this point it's not vanity pounds for me but most likely really serious health issue. I'm sorry to have to discontinue IE for the most part- although I'm still going to try to honor my tastes and hunger in the best way that I can.

Locke I'm sorry you got some troubling news, you must be frightened but don't be discouraged. You've learned a lot on this IE journey and although you have to place some restrictions you can still honor your hunger and practice mindful eating. Think of the freedoms you do have with food and remember that while you focus on weightloss that it doesn't have to be immediate and too rapid. Your immediate health is of utmost importance and that may mean that letting go of a few food options is necessary. Think of it as an allergy. There are some folks around here that deal with diabetes and other restrictive illnesses that are still happy to practice IE and I hope they chime in because t is possible. Don't drop out of the support here at IE, I think you can do this without steering your mind completely to restriction!

Thanks Wannabe! It's going to be difficult but I think it will turn out okay in the end. I'm using calorie counting to inform my eating patterns but I'm also still using everything I've learned in IE to honor my hunger, too. I think this is doable as long as I don't restrict too much.

Im sorry Locke, that sounds like a bit of a blow. But, I know on MFP there are a couple IE groups that their members practice calorie counting as well. I haven't been there in quite a while but it might be worth also checking out for the support. And please do stick around here, I agree with wannabe. :)

Locke: I also have PCOS, am 40, with 2 kids (though the 2nd one was harder to conceive - I went on metformin and clomid in which neither of them worked), I do not have diabetes not even when pregnant and so far looking good on the heart front because I'm exercising and keeping it strong. No one has ever given me a death sentence like you've heard from having PCOS. in fact many very thin people have it as well - the most famous one -- Kate Gosselin who did have help having her kids but has always been super thin.

I have my issues, but really when you get down to it, I am probably one of the healthiest overweight - wait, scratch that - OBESE persons around. yes I want to lose weight, but right now, exercising, living IE, making sure I'm getting all the correct nutrients into my body is number 1.

On the other hand, I 100% understand how you are feeling and you should honor that and do what you need to do for you! You are always welcome here friend!!! Thank you for sharing with us!!!

Yeah I definitely panicked yesterday. I don't think I'm going to count calories just yet, but I'm going to wait until I know for sure that I'm hungry before eating and stop when full. This was just sort of a wake up call I guess. I counted calories yesterday and today and the old familiar feelings came back- the hunger, the feelings of deprivation, the craving foods that just a day before didn't hold any power over me. I also was very weak most of the day. I can't live like that for any amount of time.

Post emotional eating: does anyone else experience this? I've gotten very good at identifying my emotional eating triggers and dealing with them accordingly. It no longer makes sense to address my stress with eating, or at least it's gotten much easier to deal with that. I identify the source of stress and I take the necessary steps needed to address the situation without food. And it works well! However, after I deal with a huge emotional hurdle I often feel like having comfort food. I don't know why, could it be the lingering psychological drama of it, the sense of relief that it's over, or a type of reward?

yes I absolutely experience this. I had a very hard day yesterday, dealt with 2 giant issues in my life and I talked them out, I cried a little, and I felt things. Afterwards even though I felt better, I just had to have a bowl of ice cream. It wasn't like a huge stomach hurting helping, just a little to enjoy so that part is different. And comfort food really does work. I really did feel comforted after I just went through all that raw hurting stuff. I figure its all part of the process.

@Wannabe

I'm amazed at the power that food has over my emotions. I would never have thought before my IE journey that I was an emotional eater. I would tell you that I liked food and loved to overeat and binge, but I didn't think that I used it to control my emotions. Boy was I wrong! I thought of emotional eaters as people who cry and eat ice cream or candy while trying to get through a breakup. Because I didn't have the conscious thought process of "I'm feeling x, I want to eat y." I didn't think that I was an emotional eater.

Now I realize that I eat for all kinds of different reasons. I want to eat when I'm tired, lonely, sad, bored, angry, numb, or anxious. I don't think "I'm bored, I should eat." But rather my appetite just happens to arrive in these situations. Fortunately with IE I have been able to understand that this is just "mouth hunger" as OO puts it. Since I listen to my body first I understand that this is not real hunger and I just let it pass *most of the time*.

Yes, this post-emotional eating makes sense to me. I think it's my way of trying to take care of myself, to show myself that it is okay and my needs will be met.

Locke: I'm sorry you experienced the deprivation issue that haunts me as well. If I'm deprived, I just want to go crazy pants with food. I cannot believe how much freedom from food I have on IE. I hate to say it but sometimes, the lack of mental anguish is worth a few extra pounds. I'm just not ruled by food anymore and it really feels awesome!

I am totally an emotional eater - but what I'm reading is that EVERYONE is. I think that was in a couple of the books. The difference between overweight and thin emotional eaters is the ability to stop or not.

Non-Scale Victories (NSV) - August 2014

Here is my list of non scale victories for this month :

1. I bought some skinny jeans and love to wear them! never in the past would I thought it was ok for someone my size to wear them - who cares is what I say.

2. I joined a club that offers intensive group workouts. I've been putting it off for months (years?) because I wasn't small enough or fit enough to keep up. Screw that!

3. I went to camp with my daughter and participated in all the events including 2 in my swim suit!

4. I have been planning a trip to Disney with my family and look forward to going on all the rides and not to worry or get upset if there are weight limits.

5. I'm planning on chopping all my hair off into a pixie cut. I've always shied away from this because my face is too round or heavy women do not look in that type of cut - oh well, I think it will look great!

6. I'm literally not paying attention to calories or carbs or fat or anything. My number one item I'm enjoying and it is so simple is regular maple syrup. I had been eating sugar free for years - NO LONGER!

7. I can keep up at my new club doing push ups, burpees, and these things that they call kosamies (burpee/pushup/jumping jacks all in one).

8. I'm actually gaining muscle!!! I noticed today at my kettle bell class that I didn't have to use the low weights for my exercises! Yahoo!

Does anyone else have some NSV???

THose are all so awesome Jen! I keep wanting to do the pixie cut, but I spent most of my life with a pixie cut so I am trying out long hair for now.

My most major victory is that I bought a bathing suit and wore it in public and played with my kids. They all are scared of the water and I think a big reason ( besides having a grandma who is terrified of water) is that their mom never ever goes swimming. We never even took them to a pool or the lake or anything because I hated to be seen in a swimsuit. We went last weekend and the kids had a great time! I was in the water in my swimsuit with them and the rest of the family. It felt amazing. :)

Awesome pinkhippie - way to make memories with your family!!!

Just read this - I liked it: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glenno...b_5586341.html

So I'm back for the umpteenth time...doing a mix of paleo/low card but intuitive eating is the deciding factor. I have added in group exercise and it has helped my energy level a lot...scale is going down..and I don't feel deprived or anything, generally happy.

NSV I can walk the mile crosstown just about without stopping in about 15 min. I used catch the bus even though it took double the time because I just couldn't muster the energy.

I've gotten over my fear of changing in front of the people in the gym and wearing a bathing suit for my aquarobics.

I did not beat myself up when I gained 3 lbs from social drinking, just need to learn not to succumb to peer pressure.

I have ankles again. Over a certain weight my ankles look like grapefruit which I hate

I'm happy and the more I stick to my intuitive eating and working out the easier it seems to get. I pretty much automatically stop eating when I feel a certain way. I haven't had the too full to move or do anything in a long time. I also can sit and watch others eat and not feel pressure to life my fork.

I've been on and off the intuitive eating thread for years. Hoping I stick around long term this time.

Hi Everyone:coffee:

I think there is something to either shrinking stomach or just acknowledging you're full at a different point than you used to. I've noticed the longer my journey goes the less I want to force myself to continue past a certain point. I seem to have way more left overs than I used to.

I'm so pleased to be able to report that I'm really FEELING my food. I suppose I never really have, just because I was so busy bingeing I didn't have time to enjoy it or dieting so I was too guilty to enjoy it. I admit I'm tracking calories also, but it's more just to SEE what I'm doing and I'm so happy to say I'm doing really well. I eat when I need to, which makes it enjoyable. I don't ban certain food or anything, because why should I? Some things, unfortunately, I can't let myself enjoy just because the old me can't separate enjoying from bingeing, so I intentionally avoid those, but... Overall, I'm really at SUCH a great place in this lifestyle change right now!

I got on the scale this morning as a WTH even though I told myself that I should stick to weighing once a month due to the fact that weighing every day or weekly would be like dieting to me.

Guess what? I gained ANOTHER pound. *sigh* I am sad and worried but still believing that my freedom on IE is worth not dieting and obsessing about food for the rest of my life. I also think I'm recovering from the hunger/fullness diet I was on with my coach so going a little overboard on stuff.... it should level out here soon....

I CAN do this, I AM worth it, so it will be....

Ok I did some searching and found that muscle repair causes water weight gain. so I'm going to start pounding the water - I've been lax on it anyway and can feel the difference.

Also, I'm super duper tired, my cycle is completely off, and my mind keeps wandering to me being pregnant but my husband has been sniped so it freakin' better not be this because I'm OLD people - OLD!

@Jen

One pound is two glasses of water. You've been feeling great and are having increased fitness at the gym. I would take it in stride. NSV sharing is a good idea as I've had a few recently:

1) Joint pain is greatly diminished. When I started IE in February I was taking NSAIDs (pain medication) every day because my ankles hurt so bad. Since then I've stopped taking pain medications and for the most part my joints feel really good. I walked for several miles last weekend and I was a little stiff and sore but it went away within 24 hours.

2) My fitness has improved. The walk from the bus station to work used to take me 15 minutes and now it only takes me 10. I can walk more quickly and am less out of breath. I can walk up a flight of stairs and not be quite so winded as I was before. I have more muscling in my legs and greater stability/balance.

3) I haven't had a serious binge in months. Sometimes I still eat too much but it's not on the same level as it was before. I used to eat so much that I was very uncomfortable most of the time.

4) I can enjoy food in public and with family and friends. I'm no longer worried as much about what people will think of me if I eat a certain kind of food. Since I don't diet I'm more relaxed with food in general.

5) I can keep food around the house- Tasty, delicious food- and I don't have to worry about eating it all in one sitting. I can save money and buy big size bags of chocolates or a quart of ice cream. They last for months now, instead of getting wolfed down in a binge that same weekend. I don't have to practice portion control or buy 100 calorie packs. I fill my plate full of food and I eat until I'm satisfied. Last night I cooked spaghetti and salad. I ate the salad and I was full- no room for spaghetti. I put the leftovers away and did something else.

6) I have much more self control about eating out. I used to order delivery compulsively ($50 worth of chinese food every weekend just for me), or I'd get hamburgers/ fast food all the time. It was expensive and I wasn't even enjoying it because I would just hork it down. Now I maybe eat out once a week. I don't crave restaurant food. This morning I had the notion to get a bagel sandwich for breakfast but I thought I'd rather save my money and just eat peanut butter and toast like usual.

All of this is thanks to IE. I haven't lost loads of weight, maybe 20 pounds in total, but I'm losing about 5 pounds a month at this rate. It seems to be picking up. The important thing for me is to really, truly eat what I want. I would not have been able to resist eating a bagel sandwich today if I had not let myself eat a bagel sandwich every day for breakfast in April. I wouldn't have ice cream in the freezer that is getting frostburned if I didn't let myself have ice cream for a few meals. Sometimes I still do, even.

I feel like this really is a permanent solution. I am not worried that the weight I have lost will come back because I'm not forcing myself to eat a certain way. I'm not worried that I will lose control one day and *eat all the things*. The fear of going off the wagon is nonexistent because there is no wagon. I couldn't go back to stuffing myself because I'm so much more connected with my body now. This way feels good, and natural. I'm just coming back home to a way of feeding myself that I was born with.

I'm fuming mad right now! Sorry ladies I really want to read and respond to the recent posts but I need a vent!! One of my colleagues just went on fakebook and trashed me and my business. She said mean awful things and put them out for all my clients, colleagues, friends and family to see. I never experienced anything like that and I'm so pissed off!!! I just ate a whole bag of chips.

@wannabeskinny: that is awful and 100% immature of your colleague to do. I'm so sorry that happened. no guilt about the chips, ok? crap happens and everyone emotionally eats. Have you tried the 1 minute mediation or going to the pocket hunger coach to see how it can help you through this moment or moments?? you hang in there - people see through those who are not real.

@Locke: that was a great great list and I am so happy for you. After reading your list, I agree this is the only way to be. I do not obsess about food and it feels right. I'm so proud of you!!!

oh no Wannabe! That is terrible! I would be mad too. Can you remove it or untag your business?

I just experienced a bad situation with my mom and I came home and ate 3 bowls of cereal for lunch. I didn't eat until I was stuffed so I guess thats something. I was mad and sad as usual.

Locke, wow that is so awesome. you have come such a long way! I love being able to have all the foods in the house and not feel like I have to eat them just because they are there. One of the biggest victories of IE for me.

Wannabe, some people's immaturity astounds me. That's awful and I'm sorry you're hurting from their idiocy.

Locke, I'm jealous of all of those NSVs. I ache all over all the time right now. I can't wait to get more of this bulk off of my frame to hopefully get some relief!

Thanks for the support. I had a good night sleep but I still woke up angry and frustrated. I do not want to engage in a Facebook fight or say anything that I will regret later. She did not name any names or my business but I know that it was about me because she quoted thanks for my website. She quoted things that took me a very long time to write and edit and publish, she quoted words that I was anguished over while I was writing them. People I know liked her status simply because they didn't even know that she was talking about me. Part of me wants to be the bigger person and ignore it but another part of me wants to cut her down a notch. I'm a grown woman I am not one for petty fights and I'm not in high school anymore I don't like this type of behavior and I don't like being put in the position where I have to engage in this type of behavior.

Anyway I am glad to read about everyone's non-scale victories. My non-scale victory is that I did not step on the scale yet. I'm truly honoring my hunger.

@Locke that's a great list! 5 pounds a month is a nice rate, but more importantly you're able to enjoy life without obsessing over food.

@Wannabe

I would be raging, too. I wonder why she would do that.

Well, yesterday there was a story in an industry magazine in which I was featured for a recent achievement. Something I wrote was quoted which she then required anonymously and trashed. My guess is that she doesn't believe I deserve the recognition or success I am having. The weird thing is she's been in the business longer and has accumulated quite a bit of success, eat more than I have yet. So it's almost senseless to even pay attention to the crumbs I'm getting. She has plenty going on in her career, where does she find the joy in raining on my parade? I've always been kind to her, we've worked together lots and she's always been a bit of a nutter but I've done nothing to her. I'm not looking for support from her, but dang do you have to drag my name through the mud for sport?

Special needs wannabe, special needs......