Y'all, I'm STRUGGLING these past couple of days. I don't know what triggered it but I'm just RAVENOUS-- all I can think about it food, food, food. I haven't binged and I'm really fighting the urge to do so. I thought maybe a little treat would help so last night I did eat a package of peanut butter cups (2)-- always my candy of choice-- but the chocolate have me HORRIBLE reflex which I'm still feeling today. NOT worth it and it didn't help with my cravings. And today, even while I'm enjoying my food and being careful and could clearly feel I was full, I was just wanting to shovel all of my lunch into mouth. I didn't, but even as I was putting the leftovers away I was half thinking about just bingeing on it. I didn't *need* it but I felt like I did! Ugh.

Just struggling. Not ruining myself, but just not feeling that awesome contentment I had all week. Any ideas?

So true ha ha!

BamaGal i've been there too. Especially in the beginning. The problem with IE is that it seems so natural and she comes so easy because of the sturdy logic. However if you've been using food to cope with emotions for a long time your body doesn't have much reason to go along with your plans, especially since eating is so effective at coping. When you start to feel this discontentment it means that something is up. You're stressing out about something and it's important to name it and address it. You don't have to solv all your problems in one sitting but for example lets say that I'm unusually hungry and reaching for more food than usuall AND feeling dissatisfied with it. I see that as a golden opportunity to figure out what's eating me. Let's say after careful consideration I realize that I'm feeling upset about a fight I just had with my husband. Bingo, there's the source of my anxiety. Now ican set out to address this issue in a REAL way rather than eating peanut butter cups. It helps to make a list of options and it may look like this:

- speak to my husband about it
- write in my journal
- call a friend or therapist
- go for a walk to clear my head
- do something nice for my husband
- meditate
- allow myself to really sit and wallow on the feeling for 10 minutes
- distract myself with a movie, nap, or shopping trip
- have a good cry
- binge

See, when there are real options you may not reach for food. My rule of thumb though is that if my level of anxiety is above a 7 on a scale of 1-10 I go ahead and eat without guilt. It's the most compassionate thing to do. The whole point of this is to have eating as an option but not let it be the go to option. Even normal eaters comfort eat sometimes, they just do it rarely and without guilt.

@Bama,

I second what Wannabe said. If you're not hungry then you're wanting to eat because of something else. You need to figure out what that something is and address it.
------------

I had a great IE weekend. I think calorie counting last week opened my eyes to how it feels to be really hungry so I've been letting myself get a bit more hungry between meals. I feel better now. I also dropped four pounds over the past week. I walked for several miles on Sunday morning. It was such a pleasure. Thank goodness my joints are getting better these days. I wanted to go further but my ankles started to hurt. It was about 3 miles total. I'm hoping to work up to 6 miles and walk all the way to the lake in downtown Oakland. It's such a pleasure to walk and enjoy the weather and my city. W00t!

holy crap Locke - that is AWESOME!!! so proud of your accomplishments and renewed commitment to IE. You go girl!!!

Well as long as YOU believe that you deserve the recognition don't worry about her. Some people just cannot handle others getting recognition, just know that the problem lies within her and NOT you. Don't let your emotions make you overeat, that is giving her more attention in your life than she deserves. Hold your head up and be proud of yourself!!!:hug:

Thanks for the encouraging words TamTam. Besides that one fast eating of chips after it happened I haven't eaten in relation to this situation at all. I'm not sweating the chips at all, I'm glad I did it. I wasn't hungry for dinner after that anyway so I skipped food the rest of the day. Boy are chips salty, never noticed until recently. I think in at the point in IE Where are you? I'm acutely aware of how foods make me feel physically and that is likely causing me to be more selective with what I eat.

In other news I've had a few days of severe tummy troubles. Quite possibly gastritis. I fasted for an entire day with no hunger. I've been eating the smallest blandest meals you can image. Plain bread, plain rice, a little fruit and chamomile tea. I've gradually been getting hungrier over the last day or so and still able to limit to bland foods. Hopefully I'll be better quick because this is the last week of my vacation and I've got some last supper eating to do!

Otherwise I'm feeling pretty good. I'm certain I've lost weight. I'll try not to be too disappointed if I haven't though lol.

I thought I'd post just to keep this little thread busy. I'm at an interesting place with my IE right now. I used to eat and be very conscious of whether or not I was satisfied while I was eating. I got to a certain place and then stopped. I also ate as soon as I was even a little bit hungry. For the past several days I've been eating smaller portions. I eat them slowly and I savor each bite but I'm not as concerned with feeling "satisfied" at the end. I stop when I'm no longer hungry then I do something else. I usually will get "satisfied" a little while later.

I tell myself if I'm still hungry in a little while I can have dessert- which is enough to get me to stop when I'm no longer hungry (because omg there's a chance of dessert!) I know that if I eat until I'm satisfied at the table then I won't be hungry for dessert later. Usually I'm not hungry for dessert. I just don't care that much about food.

Waiting to eat until I'm really hungry has been good for me. Food tastes so good when you're really hungry. I also don't reach for sweets or high fat foods as much. When you're really hungry something as simple as beans and rice can be heaven.

P.S.- I had an ultrasound and my ovaries are in good working order. No PCOS at all.

Yay! That is great news about your ultrasound Locke. And, it sounds like you are in a really good place with IE right now.

Im not really sure where Im at with my IE right now. I still want to turn to food when I feel upset about certain things or if I feel like I have been depriving myself. Even accidentally. I do the same thing with stopping when Im no longer hungry and I notice I do feel satisfied later. I still haven't had a lot of success slowing my eating down, I think because things are so crazy at the house during mealtimes. But, that works for me for now I think.

I'm in a weird place right now with IE too...... more later as I'm swamped with work and my husband is gone on a business trip.....

Locke that is great news. To heck with calorie counting, back to joyful eating!

Hmm, I think that is my new word for IE... Joyful Eating! I'm sorry to hear you all are having a weird time with IE, I on the other hand couldn't be doing better. But these ups and downs are all part of life and they come and go indefinitely. IE is not some form of perfect eating, it's a practice that has it's ups and downs and the important thing is to stay cool and don't sweat it.

What's this about having a hard time with mindful eating pinkhippie and Jensassy? You very well can do it because... well, because frankly if I can do this anyone can! Ok let's see if I can offer any encouragement. Mindful eating is like meditation, in that it can be confusing - am I doing it right? Am I mindful enough? Am I listening to my body? You know what I mean right? There's too much pressure! Like that stupid kind I pressure you feel on New Year's Eve, the night that is supposed to be super super fun but somehow can't quite muster up the necessary enthusiasm for.

So start off by letting go of the pressure. Choose one meal or snack to be mindful about. Pick the meal that you get to eat alone and uninterrupted. If dinner is hectic because the kids are screaming then that is not the right meal to do this with. I started with breakfast. I want tired, my son would sit and play and watch tv and nobody else was home. I had the freedom to sit for 10 minutes. I know this sounds dumb but I take a little extra care to use my favorite plate and glass and Armageddon things prettily. I make sure I set up my placemat so that I don't have to get up while I'm eating. I have the napkin ready, the salt, the beverage, the condiments etc. I marvel at how pretty everything is. I'm worth it! This is not just a feeding session, this is a precious moment of self nurturing. It's special and I deserve it.

Now, you dot have to eat at a snails pace. Eat with enjoyment! I tend to start off at a quick pace and then slow down considerable before I get halfway through. Sorry, but I cannot and will not enjoy myself if I eat too slowly at first. The beginning is all the fun - hunger meets food. Once I get that initial hunger calmed I can start to linger and choose and put my fork down. Yummy noises are mandatory. Sometimes I close my eyes and focus all my thoughts on the mushroom in my mouth. The texture, the taste, the aftertaste. It's heaven. Then I take a little break and reassess my satiety and proceed from there.

I've gotten very good at this. It seems theatrical at first but eventually it becomes second nature. I can be in a room full of people but I know how to turn my attention to the bite in my mouth. It feels normal and natural to reach for the pretty plate and to sit down with the tv off. Yes at first this was difficult. But now I just call it eating.

Geneen Roth writes frequently about eating with the intention of being seen by others. Many of us binge eaters eat differently when no one is around. I have impeccable table manners when dining with others but when I'm alone and eating without paying attention I will shovel food into my mouth while my eyes are glued to a screen, take gigantic bites, etc. This happens especially when I'm really hungry. These days even if I'm ravenous I make sure to pause before my meal to think about intention. I try to slow down and eat gracefully. I chew each bite until it loses its texture and then swallow. It was hard to do this at first but it increases the enjoyment of each meal.

Wannabe sounds like you have gotten so good at mindful eating!

Thanks for the suggestions. I do agree with you about not wanting to put pressure on yourself and I think that for now, that is why I am not striving to mindfully eat. My life situation is such that my kids are with me during all meals. The 2 year old stopped napping so now I don't even have that partial haven any longer.

When I try to concentrate on mindful eating with them around I get very stressed and sometimes angry and then my eating is even worse. I have just accepted the reality for now. When they are older, I think it will be easier. :)

But those are all great suggestions, thank you. :)

My travels are coming to an end and the rough start is bookended by a rough ending. My tummy troubles are over just in time to indulge in a bit of last supper eating with a dash of Overeating. It is what it is, not too concerned. Although I am filled with stress over traveling, I hate flying and I have to board 3 planes in a span of 20hrs with a toddler in tow. I'm also very afraid of plane accidents and godforbid there is any turbulence, the hours tic by as long as days. Part of the stress is causing me to have body image issues, body hating is my new binging. As of this moment I'm convinced I've gained 10lbs on this trip and that I will never lose it again. Don't ask me why, just last week I was marveling at how skinny I felt. I'm starting to believe that our weight is not real, it's just a state of mind. For all I know I could be a skinny Minnie and not even know it because inside my head I'm big. Anyway, off I go.

Wannabe good luck. I think weight is all about your state of mind, too. I'm starting to drop weight very quickly as things have sort of clicked in my brain about emotional eating and really eating intuitively but I still have the body hatred issues. Just last night I had to have a cry because I was so upset with myself. Afterwards I felt much better and moved on- I think it was PMS because Aunt Flo showed up this morning. Still it's scary when I get into these moods. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think "I'm beautiful!" and other times I think horrible things. It's a roll of the dice to see what it will be each morning.

OMG. So I'm back to fill you all in and you girls have hit the nail on the head already!!! I've been obsessing about my weight and how I just need to take a break from IE and get some of this weight off because I just can't stand it any longer. I've been so sad and emotional over it.

So this weekend, after my husband came home he took the kids to visit his family for the day on Sunday, I started reading through this book I bought before IE called the "fast metabolism diet" and started having an anxiety attack. it is only 28 days but it is very restrictive and thoughts were flooding through me that I won't be able to eat anything and I'm doomed to live without food for the rest of my life in order to be healthy.

That's when I closed the book and said, "no way in heck am I going through that torture again - ever". IE has given me the freedom from food that I never dreamt was possible, I don't have anxiety attacks over it and everything is good. Am I losing weight right now, nope. Will it all click and come together someday, yep. I need to stay the course.

I constantly think of two quotes I heard recently - one was from Giada from the food network - they asked her in an interview how she stays so thin around all the food and she said, "I try a little bit of everything but not a lot of anything." Then a friend said to me today that she "takes a taste of everything but doesn't finish a thing." it got the wheels turning for sure that I do not have to clean my plate even if it's tasting good or because I think I'm wasting money or whatever. Today for instance I wanted to try this caramel frappe from McDonald's - it was horrible. Then I thought about those quotes and dumped it down the disposal. Why was I eating this if it wasn't giving me extreme pleasure? I didn't want to waste the $4 I spent on it - oh well, too bad, a very small price to pay I think. So down the drain it went.

I really want to believe that my body is just trying to get used to what in the heck I'm doing. How could I think that after abusing it for 30+ years that it would all be fixed in a few short months. Stay the course - enjoy the freedom and grace to eat what you want when you're hungry. Enjoy the food to the fullest because that's all it is....food.

@wannabe: deep breaths. lost of one minute meditations in the airports. I cannot imagine all the flying or switching of plans with a toddler. This is a huge deal and it will be a large accomplishment when it's done. One day, moment, minute at a time.

@locke: I love how you allow yourself to feel your feelings - that is so awesome. you are an inspiration!

Question about a "book"
 

Have any of you read Thinsideout? It's by Josie Spinardi. I downloaded it into my nook yesterday, it is good and interesting. My battery is low so I have to recharge my nook:( It is not available as a book.:(:( She has some videos on youtube I think or thin tv or that may be the name that's it's under on youtube. Anyway her website is: josiespinardi.com and you can watch the videos there, I have not had a chance yet, I want to finish the book first. I think it will be more or less the usual you read about IE, but you never know when someone will print something that will make the light bulb in your head light up. The scale is not my friend at the moment so we are not on speaking terms, I may visit it Friday morning, but not until then!!:mad: I did something that I should have done probably a long time ago. I had my phone set to go off every 3 hours so I could eat because of my diabetes, but I DO NOT want to continue to eat by the clock, so the alarms are off!! I want to eat when my body says to eat, not when the alarm says! Have a blessed afternoon!!:hug::hug:

@TamTam: I bought Josie's first book and have not read it yet but will probably end up buying this one too. they are good to read when I feel like I need to eat for all the wrong reasons!!

@Jen. We had identical experiences! I got triggered by a friend who is vegan. I started thinking "well, I could add a few more meatless meals to my week"... and it totally snowballed into me thinking I'm going to cut out all meat, egg, dairy, oils, and everything. Just potatoes and rice with some veggies from now on. I got that panicky feeling, too. I also got HUNGRY. Strange, because I had just eaten a good sized meal a few hours ago. It's like my body saw the deprivation coming and decided it was time to pile on. It really isn't worth it. I'm tired of being afraid of food, and of depriving myself from it. Good job with the frappe- I've had those moments when I've just decided "this is yucky" and thrown away the item. I'm six months into IE- it gets better but it's still a day in, day out process for me.

@TamTam Yes I have read and enjoyed that book. My favorite book of all is Overcoming Overeating because I've had the most success with the methods. I feel like Thinsideout is a modernized version of OO, but unfortunately it is less comprehensive, especially regarding emotional eating. Very good book though, and super positive.

Thanks Jen and Locke. I need books to help me with hunger/fullness. The overfed head is one that I am going to re-read after Josie's book. I may or may not re-read Intuitive Eating, they have updated it, but I had this thing awhile back that I wanted to read EVERYTHING on IE and it was just too much to take in. So I am going to keep it simple and read Josie's book and the Overfed Head and watch her videos and leave it at that.

Great progress everyone. Jensassy that is very courageous to deny that diet. IE is becoming more ingrained in you so go with it!

TamTam I haven't read anything by Josi Spinardi but I have seen her YouTube videos and I like them a lot. She's right on!

So I'm back, the trip was fine and my anxiety over traveling was at an all time low surprisingly. Back to life and back to reality.

So...... the scale showed a 9lb loss. Amazing for 6 wks by eating all my favorite foods. I swam a lot but did hardly any walking. I ate, I enjoyed myself, I napped everyday, I sat staring at the sea for hours and lost weight. Not bad.

WElcome back Wannabe! Congrats on dropping weight while listening to your body! That is awesome! :)

I have thinside out and I really like it.

I had food poisoning this weekend and I am still recovering. I definitely shrank my stomach I think. I notice that the hunger and satisfaction signals are even stronger than they were. NOT that I recommend food poisoning as a way to get in touch with your body. I think something like food poisoning just got me out of my head and all I was thinking about was survival. Like I have been eating small amounts through out the day and eating to satisfaction because any more than that makes me feel bad right now. So, I had eaten just recently and then the kids went out to play. My mind immediately clicked into "DESSERT!" and normally I wouldn't question that, dessert after dinner while the kids play outside is normal. But because I had been sick and because dessert is the last thing my body physically wants, I realized that no, I didn't really want that, it was all a mental thing. It was a strong urge though, it really surprised me. Anyway, its been a learning experience for sure. I lost about 5 pounds but Im not really sure if that will last or not. Im just happy to be able to eat again! :)

@wannabe: that is freaking awesome! Do you think it has anything to do with the fact that you weren't weighing yourself the whole time? this is really great news!

@pinkhippie: I'm sorry to hear you are sick or were sick. that stinks. I hear you though about that mental deal. I was on the couch last night thinking I needed something but I was not hungry so I kept it bay and then S'Mores came into my head and that was it - I had to have one even if it was a microwaved one.

If anyone thinks IE is easy, etc... they are wrong. This is something I have to work on every single hour of every day. the good news is, is that it offers so much relief to me that I cannot even tell you how it has changed my life.

I'm in the office today (I usually telecommute) and it has opened a can of stress that I cannot even explain. Trying to just keep my head down, work, and drink my water.....

@Wannabe, congratulations! I had a feeling you'd lost quite a bit on your vacation.

@Pinkhippie, sorry to hear you've been ill. It's amazing how something like that can reset you.

@Jen, I am a member of reddit, a massive online message board. I've gotten into a few fights with people about IE on that site- lots of fat shamers there. Just yesterday a person got in my face (digitally, I guess) about how IE is just about fat people wanting to stay fat and justify their awful eating habits. Six months ago I wasn't sure if that was the case or not. I remember going to the store and filling my grocery cart with all kinds of goodies because that's what Overcoming Overeating said to do. I had a strange feeling about it "What if I am just justifying my bad habits?" Well guess what, here I am six months later. I've lost a modest amount of weight and my relationship with food is better than ever. I can concentrate on my daily life. I'm not constantly thinking about food, stressing about it, bingeing, purging, hating myself for eating, etc.

No, it's not easy, but it's my only chance to have a normal relationship with food. If I stuck to a 1200 calorie per diem diet and lost all of my weight I would have to calorie count and stress about food for the rest of my life. I'd always be "on the wagon" having to watch what I take in. Every holiday, party, event, etc. that served food would take a toll because I'd be worried about the calories of what I was eating, wondering if I should eat at all, etc. Now I don't stress. Someone brought in donuts the other day- I had just eaten breakfast so I didn't give a sh*t about them. They'd probably also make my stomach hurt. Who wants that?

Pinkhippie that sucks. But you're right, I went through a bout of gastritis last week so I know, our bodies are quick and loud with their needs when we have tummy trouble! Get well quick.

Jensassy, I don't know if my weight loss is directly related to not weighing myself. I do think though that ignorance of my weight in lbs had a significant impact in how I perceived myself and how I evaluated myself. In the chicks in control section I recently started a thread called "losing track of trackers" in which I explained how I put away all tracking devices from my pedometer to my food scale and my calorie counting apps. The scale was the hardest but ultimately all these trackers were making it more and more difficult to connect to my needs. I was always measuring, weighing, counting, logging, journaling, accountability accountability accountability! Letting go has helped me tune into myself more if that makes any sense.

I will reintroduce the scale sparingly now that I'm over the extreme anxiety of my weighing myself weekly and I will begin to use my fitbit again. I missed it but I won't let myself get crazy over it.

Hi All,

11 months ago I was a Scale Addicted, Weight Watching, Calorie Counting, Low Carbing (oh yes, my crazy self combined them all) exercise-aholic, full blown nutjob. I lost 125lbs that way and then my life got turned upside down. DH and I got pregnant and then all of a sudden it was permission to eat everything I had restricted. Well, I lost the pregnancy at 10 weeks; 4 days shy of my 30th Birthday. Needless to say, I was devastated. The Doctor said it was a fluke and not related to my weight. It was rocky from the start (low progesterone) but we'd heard the heart beat and they thought things were looking up. Our next visit they couldn't find the heart beat and I had a D&C the following day. The entire reason I ever wanted to lose weight was for a healthy pregnancy. All that hard work and for what? I felt like my body had betrayed me. I did realize something though - the relationship I had with food and my body was not one I'd want my future children to have. I realized that pretty immediately, but didn't know what to do or how to do it. I gained about 45 pounds back through reckless emotional eating and a bad case of couch potato-itis. That was also devastating for me. Not only had I lost my child, but I'd also lost a body I'd worked so incredibly hard to achieve. I was infuriated with myself, but I also wanted to get to a good place with food and exercise. I read Intuitive Eating and it made sense, but I was still grieving too much to fully grasp it. Fast Foward about 6 months... I've slowly been making healthy life choices. I destroyed my scale a little over a month ago. I also did a lot of soul searching and self reflection on what my goals really need to be. I finally feel like I'm getting to a healthier place with my food issues.

I'd had a bad day so naturally, I wanted to binge. I waited for my husband to take a shower so he wouldn't know. I heard the water come on, opened the box of oreos, took a bite and promptly spit it into the trash - along with the rest of the box. It was borderline stale and I realized that wasn't who I was anymore. Progress.

3FC has always been an incredibly wonderful place for support with like minds. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope to get to know you all!

First of all I am so sorry for your pain. My heart hurts for you. Good for you for getting rid of the scale. I am not there yet, but as I type the scale and I are not on speaking terms!! I am really glad you came join us here, hopefully we can all help each other. Have a blessed day.:hug:

@locke: I agree that the accountability part of dieting is way harder than IE will ever be. I remember you talking about those whack-o's saying IE was just a way for us to justify all the bad food. but guess what? IE makes food, food. there is no bad food or good food, it's all just fuel/food. I'm still legalizing food I have realized. how could I not? I've been dieting for 30+ years, I can't expect for all foods to be legal in a month or two, there are too many of them that have had that "BAD" label for so long. I've done a good job of getting through many of them but I'm sure I haven't even broached the topic of some that haven't come up yet, kwim?

I also agree that this is the only way to have a normal relationship with food. My exercise this past weekend, really showed that to me. I felt so sad and the anxiety was so bad when I thought of dieting - why would I ever want to go back to that. Constantly shaming myself that I couldn't make it through a few short days, binging on food that's not on someone's predescribed 'list".... I just never want to go back there, but I really would love to lose some of this weight. I just have to hang in there for the long haul - something that I am prone not to do when it comes to my weight. I'm very thankful for all you on this board who have been there done that and can make me realize that IE is the only way to go.....

@Wannabe: back to the fitbit, eh? I've been wearing it but I'm not letting it rule my life. It's interesting stuff, but again, just data. Let us know how it goes.... say did you wear that bikini on your trip??? :)

SoMuchFattitude, you are my HERO!

Somuchfattitude welcome and stay. I'm sorry for your loss. Remember to be kind to yourself above else.

Locke, those crazy people who say we are looking for excuses to eat and be fat come in all shapes and disguises. Some of it is mean spirited, some if it is misery loves company, and some if it is plain old ignorance. My mother noticed my weightloss and my continued weightloss while I was visiting her and we had a good chat about my treatment and IE. She seemed very happy and supportive of me. I told her that I was finally starting to feel like I can get past my food issues and how rejecting the diet mentality had done more for me than anything else ever before. After listening and nodding and marveling at how wonderful this all is she finally said that I need to "really stick to my guns to get the rest of the weight off." So even if people want to understand sometimes they can't, it's just too bizarre of a concept. It's eat over their heads, and that's ok.

Jensassy guess what? I forgot to pack my bikini. And I was so mad when I realized it because I really wanted to wear it lol!

Can you remind me again how to do the one minute meditation?

@Wannabeskinny

I'm so happy that you had that chat with your mom. The results speak for themselves!

Thank you all for the warm welcome! :)

Tam- I'm a very black and white person. Either I weigh obsessively or not at all. Unfortunately, for the past 3 years it's been obsessive...as in, I may or may not have packed it and taken it on trips with me. Destroying it has been the most freeing feeling ever.

Bama - Aw! Thank you! <3

Good Morning!
 

Hello Ladies! God up at 4am and did 2 laps around the street. My left hip has been hurting, so I did not walk further or too fast to injure it. I took an Aleve this morning to see if it will help. Did GREAT with my eating yesterday. I ate only when hungry and stopped when full. I am just going to focus on that for the present, but it is SO hard to get rid of the diet mentality!! And being diabetic I still need to pay attention to carbs and make sure that I have a protein every time I eat a carb to keep my glucose level in the normal range. By the grace of God, when I begin to lose weight I may be able to be free of Type II diabetes and not have to worry about food groups anymore and by that time I will be VERY good at IE eating. Have a blessed day all!:hug:

@Fattitude Welcome!

Ladies,

I think I've found my *true* hunger and fullness signals. I am in strange new territory here. I really just go by how my stomach feels. I can feel that my body is losing weight but this is distinct from the feeling of hunger. It's not that pleasant; sort of an achy feeling but it's not unbearable. I'm a bit cranky. I think my body is adjusting to this way of eating because I'm probably eating less than half the food I was before. It feels *good* though. It feels like I'm doing the right thing. I don't feel like I'm going to binge or anything. I know I can still eat whatever I want when I'm hungry. I knew I was overeating before but I didn't realize how much I was overeating. I will keep you updated on how this new chapter goes.

Welcome Fattitude!

Keep on plugging TamTam.

Great job Locke!

Wannabe - that's funny! :) Next time and in a smaller size I bet! :) AND some people just will never understand - NEVER.

Here is the one minute meditation:

Breathe in for 5 seconds (or counts)
Hold breath for 5 seconds (or counts)
Breathe out for 5 seconds (or counts)
Do this sequence 4 times to equal 60 seconds (or counts).
repeat as necessary.

Thanks Jensassy, I'm going to try it today in my next inevitable moment of panic.

Locke, if you don't analyze and question this particular phase it will stick around. Enjoy!

I'm walking around the city today feeling skinny. I like it. It's gotten me thinking about my perception of other people, skinny people. I used to walk around in amazement at how other people could just BE thin. There are so many thin people around that I sincerely doubt that all of them are feeling tortured about how hard it is to be skinny. Surely this all comes naturally to them. I've always thought to myself "how do they do it? How do they stay so thin? How do they survive on such little food? Why aren't they eating everything in sight?" These were my constant thoughts. The more I thought about how easy it was for them the worse I felt about myself. Because there has to be something wrong with me. They know the secret and I don't! Why am I not deserving of the secret?

So when I first started nutritional therapy my NT asked me point blank what are my perceptions of skinny people or "normal people" as I usually refer to them. Naturally I said that skinny people hate food, they don't like to eat and are most likely lying about eating. They must be the exact opposite of me: eating in public for show and not eating at all in private. I couldn't explain why they would eat cake and be slim. Logically I know this makes no sense and I was really surprised those words came out. But that was the truth at the time.

Now I have realized that my thinking has changed along side my improved self image. I see skinny folks now and I know they don't have special superpowers. I know exactly how they remain slim. I feel like I'm in on the secret and that it's only a matter of time until I lose more weight. I don't know when but I don't care. I feel good.

Today, according to my very thin daughter - she is HUNGRY all the time and she most often out eats me. Just a thought.

Today I'm hungry but not wanting to eat. My stomach is rumbling and I feel run down but I have no appetite. I've also been having terrible mood swings over the past few days. I don't know what's up with me. I don't feel good but the last thing I want to do is eat. Maybe I'm sick? I don't know.

Just eat something. My son sometimes gets really cranky and doesn't want to eat and I have to force him because I know that if he are something he wouldn't be so cranky. And it always works. Eat something light and go from there. Chances are eating will make you realize you actually are hungry.

Question. If you are hungry and don't want to eat to be able to eat with hubby, what small food would you eat to hold you up till it was time to eat without ruining your hunger?

Protein, just a little. I eat cucumber with a spoonful of hummus. Or a spoonful of peanut butter. These are rich and satisfying but such small amounts that they don't ruin your appetite. Or a piece of cheese, or almonds. Or a slice of ham.