The Beck Diet Solution – March 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
 

Welcome to The Beck DIET solution discussion group, support group, diet coach group relating to the book by Dr. Judith S. Beck:The Beck Diet Solution is a psychological program, not a food plan. It provides a step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life. The program is based on Dr. Beck's clinical research in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if we learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach.

This is a place to discuss the Beck strategies and our daily efforts, to receive and provide support, and, for some of us, is where we serve as on-line diet coach to each other.

If you’ve arrived from a search engine, you’ve landed at the site of 3 fat chicks, a remarkable place for those interested in a healthy life style, including mindful eating, exercise, and weight loss. More about the site, including how to register so that you can post can be found here.

The book, The Beck Diet Solution, is available on Amazon through the 3FC store by clicking here.

Previous Beck threads on 3fatchicks.com:

The Beck Diet Solution – February 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – January 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution – December 2007 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach
The Beck Diet Solution - November 2007
The Beck Diet Solution - October 2007
The Beck Diet Solution - September 2007
The Beck Diet Solution - August 2007
The Beck Diet Solution - July 2007
The Beck Diet Solution - May/June 2007

Saturday - Welcome March
 

Diet Coaches - Finished my third gym session of the week doing 3 sets of each routine (up from 2 sets). CREDIT moi. I felt chagrin when the young guy to my right was doing the same exercise with 60# barbells that I was doing with 40#. Was happily chanting, My body, my journey; My body, my journey... when I noticed the young guy to my left using 35#. Immediately felt sooooo smug, but of course that's lopsided; it's no more rational to gloat than it is to beat up on myself. Saying ten times, My body, my journey; My body, my journey ...

[Looking for someone to start the discussion for Program-day 13, Overcome Cravings]


Sue (CoastalSue) - Congrats on the additional pound and for the one third off milestone and Kudos for a restrained response to the treats. Sympathy for having to endure the fat prejudice of our society. Such a useful thought for me to ponder, "I now look at overeating as an unhealthy coping pattern that I am changing." It will help me to overcome my own fat prejudice (toward myself as well as others) if I can internalize that notion - its an unhealthy coping pattern.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Congrats on another pound lost, and Kudos for rewarding yourself for it. Methinks you're onto the key difference between a lifestyle change and a diet with, "truly wanting to eat the food that I make for myself." Do you have any suggestions for how to get into flylady for addressing my clutter issue? Should I start with one of her books?

wendy (wendylan) - Kudos for getting right back on track by rewriting your lost cards. Lentils are just about my favorite food. DW regularly makes three different recipes: a baked casserole, vegetable lentil soup, and the classic Indian Dahl (curried). I love all three, but Dahl makes me drool it's so yummy.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Powerful thought here: "It occurs to me that the healthy place between the extremes of diet perfection and out of control or mindless binging happens when we love ourselves regardless of our behavior." Thanks for this discussion. My great concern remains that I'll fail to meet my own "inhuman standards" and then try to avoid the pain of that by simply yielding all personal responsibility for my healthy journey. My best Beck defense is the Helpful Response: Believe It. I now have the skills to get back on track.

barbpos – Kudos for carefully planning for your two eating events. For me, my mind clicks into a different place when I hit a food event with a plan. When I'm unplanned, my mind seems to forget everything about my healthy journey; it so easily reverts to feeding frenzy thinking. Sending good thoughts for your cardiologist appointment.

onebyone – Kudos for the cleanup and rescuing the kitchen table. Kudos for not taking seconds, and Kudos for giving yourself credit. Kudos for making plans. WOW - You're on a roll here!


Readers – "To choose appropriate foods and to use appropriate eating behaviors consistently and permanently, you have to learn how to make permanent changes in your thinking. …" Beck, pg 19.

__________________
XXXXXXX 7 XXXXXXX 14 XXXXXXX 21 XXXXXXX 28 XXXXXXX 35 XXXXXXX 42
Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

:bunny2: Welcome March... HIHO Spring! Hurry up already!:brr:

Okay, so today is Day 10, set achievable goals. I like this 5lb goal business. Oh! My brain just slipped into sabotage mode! I was typing that and a small voice said "5lbs. :blah: who cares? that's not enough." Sigh. I think I'll use this, gently --> :frypan: (An aside here. Can a frying pan to the head EVER be gentle? I think not. Once my mother got so mad at my father she hurled a frozen turkey at him. I wasn't there when it happened. Holidays at home eh?)

Anyway, I digress. Five Pounds would be awesome! I can't think of a reward though. I am bad with rewards. I think it'll be a bracelet. That's mentioned in the book and I don't have one. I was using a necklace doubled up as a bracelet so maybe I'll do that. I'll look into a charm bracelet, get a charm for every 5lbs? That sounds good. Thanks Diet Coaches for helping me out.

I've already done a workout DVD. 1 mile WATP Power Walk. Couldn't go to the Y for water aerobics this morning. No class! (Can I call it Aquabics? When I first went to do those classes that's what they were called. I love that word. I'm just going to call it that.) I've had breakfast at my kitchen table, put on dinner in the crockpot and earned a kudos! I had water after working out and with breakfast (double kudos there) and during breakfast I had set out a pear for me to eat as "breakfast dessert" I found that I was too stuffed for that big pear and took a pear that was half its size instead. Wow. Guess that is progress. I noticed I was too full and I didn't just shove all that food in anyway. I made a choice based on feeling full. And I don't feel cheated from having the smaller version of what I thought I wanted. Wow.

Better go. The morning's slipping away.

Have a fantastic Saturday!

Greetings, Beckies!
 

Quick hi to all,

Should be on a different site, doing on-line study of a different discipline. Just a thought or two..

onebyone: What a great idea of a charm bracelet with a charm for each 5#s. While pounds lost are very poor measure of our progress (are you there, friend CoastalSue?), tracking the pesky buggers is the easiest measure we have. (I could do a page on how my wt. is very much acceptable by all the charts, but the 12 #s of FAT I have gained are in evidence as ALL FAT, in all the ugliest places possible, but that is my @%$@^ deal)

It just strikes me as very Beck-like, and perhaps even a new tip she might like to incorporate in her bag of tools..it helps for so many reasons. Think about the rubber band on the wrist trick for quitting smoking...and the Beck Advantage Response cards......these charms would be constant Advantage reminders......and a constant mindless eating reminder.....these little charms could be whatever you need them to be that day.....a reminder to give yourself credit.....that little charm, and those little charms as they add up.....could literally be a reminder of whatever Beck tool we need for the moment! Wow!

Imagine getting up in the morning, putting on your bracelet, thinking about the step or the day you are on.......or what your plan is for eating in a social setting..it would be a very physcial reminder to be mindful ..

I think you are onto something big, and I hope you do it. I am not a bracelet, charm kinda girl, but I might like to "worry" a pair of earings...hmm

Challenge to all: We are on the overcoming cravings day.....think about using a charm bracelet (or something else very physical and "wearable") to stop and think about the craving, rate the discomfort, choose a Beck tool for resisting, and remember, you have the Advantage Cards reminder there, too......

We just need that tool, that reminder to stop the madness......break the signal of food cravings calling to us..That awareness that says "STOP!"..we don't have to be zombie and eat it before we evaluate the outcome of giving into the craving...before we have time to, as Beck says, "Imagine the aftermath of giving in."

That little charm bracelet could be very useful...hmmmmmm

Congrats, dear Sue, 70 #s in a nice "round number"...a milestone to be sure..I wish I were a physics whiz to tell you how much pressure that is off knees and joints, but maybe 14 little charms on a bracelet would serve as a constant reminder to give yourselft credit!

BillBE, it strikes me that you are more joyful, gleeful of the new -found health and rewards of a slim healthy self than you are annoyed by the fact that you (we all) will have to practice the Beck strategies for life. Give yourself credit for being a joyful human. ...I am picturing you with a charm bracelet.....hmmm.......seems rather, well..........charming! :D:D

Popping to say a quick hello to everyone.
I've been running around and I noticed I was popping food in my mouth once again. Just when I thought I had this part down. Well it be truthful I did let it slip with veggies while cooking friday. I think that may have sent this off. I know now I can't let even veggies past my lips while standing.

Better day for me today,ate within program,tried a few recipes and got my 44 laps in at the Y although my kids were not behaving there and kept fighting.I now have them on clean the house duty and I told them if they can't get along I will not bring them swimming next time.Still working on redoing my cards.I have started rereading the book and one thought that stuck my early on in the book was "THERE ARE NO LOST CAUSES", if we apply the principles we will suceed,it may be slow and not always easy but it will work.NONE OF US are lost causes!

At the risk of wearing out my welcome here and posting too much, I just have to write this out to you my Diet Coaches! I want to change this pattern so bad. I did great this morning and then this happened...

I have trouble most Saturday afternoons. I did it again today. I carry within me an attitude of feeling "entitled" to eat whatever I want on Saturdays, on the weekend, after "getting through the week" I tell myself. I guess I am using food as a reward here aren't I? Yep. Well this is what happened today. I'm going to type it out so I can figure it out. I did a dvd workout this morning. Ate breakfast. Did stuff, then decided to head over to the mall (a 15 minute walk) so before I left I made myself lunch, it was close to noon and then I went. I bought a set of 3lb weights that I wanted (part reward part incentive for me) and went looking for a buspass at the drugstore. I was frustrated that they'd sold out of buspasses so I went into the department store and bought what I needed there (rubbermaid bins) and at the cash I saw a deal on two chocolate bars for one price and so I bought two, telling myself this was okay "since I was using a credit card":?:.
I decided on the spot that I would eat both at once.
So then I was carrying two rubbermaid bins, 2 chocolate bars and 6lbs of weights. I left the mall and headed to the bus stop to see if I could get a bus pass there. Another 10 minute walk at least. The bus stop store didn't take credit cards so I had to walk home. Now a 25 minute walk with the snow falling around me carrying the weights, the bins, the bars and me feeling really tired, worn out (I'd been walking around for over an hour total by now with the weights), frustrated and I had a sore tummy. I made it home, dropped my stuff, grabbed the bars, came to the couch and ate them.
To my credit I did sit down to eat. Does that count?
Then I felt bad that I'd eaten "something bad" so I had some more of the soup I'd made for lunch, as if to make the chocolate into a meal of some sort to make myself feel better about it (I really wasn't hungry by now. When I ate the chocolate I was hungry.) I stopped there with the food and just felt *bad*. DH came up from the basement and sat on the couch. He looked sleepy or something, not quite himself and I found myself pressing him to eat. In the end I got him to agree to have popcorn after we found a hockey game on tv, and then I did something I never do, I melted margarine to put over the microwave popcorn. It's like I wanted to make my food the absolute WORST it could be. Like "see? see how bad I am?" that kind of a feeling. Who the h*&% am I talking to anyway?? The popcorn tasted like crap. My stomach got sore all over again, and now I am here writing this to you. Dinner is coming up and I am planning a sane one. But really dear coaches, THIS is how I set back my weightloss.

It's not the end of the world I know that. And that I can recount it coherently means I am trying to deal with it and not just brush it under the carpet and deny my own behaviour. That's no good. But if you've got any wisdom for me I would love to hear it. That feeling of "defiance" the:tantrum: side of me needs to be channeled into something other than food. Those of you further down the BDS path, does this book give us tools to help with that? It must.

Happy Weekend to you all,

onebyone-you are writing my losing weight story-Why we do it to ourselves is a total mystery to me, this sabatoging pattern is one which I have had to cope with alot. My most successful days are those which I preplan what I am going to eat, write down when I eat the stuff and what cals are- keeping a running total for the day and now I include one treat for the day. Learn that from posting here from Heidi. I found those advantage cards very helpful-re read them alot-some times I could hear myself ask is this caloric stuff going to help reduce the pain in my knees. (mobility is my biggie to lose weight.) I have a long history of using food for coping-sense of reward for stressful time, soothing emotions. giving me "energy" when exhausted ect. Your awareness and then posting it is part of the changes, try keeping one of the most important reasons for you to loss weight in your mind, make a mantra out of it, try having a one planned treat each day. Yes I truly find Beck can help with long time core patterns! Someone here wrote here that other than hunger Food can not solve any other problems. I keep saying that over and over again during the day. You have a taken a hugh step in being aware of your patterns. How else can you reward yourself for a long hard week that will give you some sense of reward, luxury? You certainly deserve a reward while improving your healthy also.

Lost another lb yeah It is kind like a wave you mentioned Heidi. swam an hr today-all good. Now here is the scary part-tomarrow we leave the coast for 5 days-see family. friends, and take the train thru the Sierras to see the snow and spend 2 night in Reno. Reno NV- the sort of place which panders to cravngs and desire. So I guess I need to do Day 13 overcome cravings.

desire-Beck defines desire to eat as not being particulary hunger but eating because there is food around.
cravings is physiological and emotionally intense urge to eat.

Beck's advice
1. You have to stop giving in to them.
How-
1st you have to collect information using the craving rating chart. Noting time. discomfort scale, and duration.
then using any of the following anti-craving stratgies
1. label it
2 stand firm,
3 NO CHOICE
4. Imagine the aftermath of giving in, the short time of food pleasure and
long lingering feeling upset with yourself.
5. Remind yourself of why you want to lose weight.
Behavioral Techniques
1. Run away from the food
2. Drink water or low- cal drink
3. relax-breathing techniques
4. distraction-refocus your attention.

To limit my desire I must remember to get the togo box 1 st thing or just some how get my plate taken away as soon as I finish the appropriate amount of food.

cravings
My biggest downfall has been dealing with the idea of no choice-I seem to rebel when I tell myself a big NO-I know that this works for others. I understand that it should but I need to add the following steps. I think about what I hope the craving will do-give me a sense of reward, take away anger, ect. What problem am I using this food to solve? It is bit of the meditation technique that when one looks at the mind you understand how temporary each thought is, When I ignore my tension it grows when I stop and look at it-then it just starts fading away.

How does everyone else cope with cravings?

MaryBlu-pondering your idea of a braclet to remind one of fighting the cravings. I like it just haven't got the right thing for me to use.

BillBlueEyes-I have to fight the desire to compare my swimming with those in other lanes. I am a slow swimminer but I can run like heck in the water-almost can beat the swimmers doing long running strides in the water. I agee it is a bit of no no to compare but so easy to do. I know the focus should be enjoy and stop the judging but heck I have just started to work on curbing the judgemental Sue.

Heidi-big congradulation on your 45 lbs loss!!

A big wave to everyone-hope I get a chance to read the posting during my travels-likely to respond next Friday

sue

Hi friends,

I am LOVING the dark chocolate! I have had a little bit each night for a few nights now-YUM and satisfying! My challenge tomorrow is that I will be driving DD up to the ski hill (about 45 min drive in prime conditions), sitting in the lodge while she has a ski lesson for 2 hours and then driving home. We will eat breakfast before we leave, I will make a coffee for me to go and plan to drink another coffee up in the lodge. I am also bringing lunch and snacks. We are going with friends and so if the other mom brings something snacky that is appealing to me, I may feel tempted…but I am NOT going to indulge in anything that I didn’t bring besides coffee with nonfat milk in it. I think that I will be okay if I focus on the beverages. Water could do it but coffee is hot and that sounds more special somehow. Credit moi for the following: cooking breakfast frittata to put in the freezer for during the week, planned weekday dinners for the next week, getting lots of unplanned exercise in lately, planning what I will eat the night before and recording it in fitday.

BillBlueEyes: checkout the flylady website..it is not dot com but dot net. Way to go on those weights and for the reminder response of “my body, my journey”.

Onebyone: You are cruising! Way to pay attention to your hunger with the pear. Don’t worry about posting too much-this group serves us all and we all have different needs at different times. The book does deal with the general feeling of “it isn’t fair that I have to do xyz to lose weight/maintain”… She says to respond with “this is what I have to do in order to lose weight/maintain”. … Have you run into that pyramid picture symbolizing eating more after eating one thing “off plan”? It does help me sometimes to visualize that image since it spells out what we do when we choose to continue to eat (how the calories add up and really, the first item(s) weren’t THAT much of a ding in the plan in the overall scheme of things).

About your walking/candy bar/popcorn scenario: you did get some serious walking in-yes, it was stressful but it is still movement! Some people have tried planning in desired treats each day so that they don’t feel deprived. That whole experience sounded stressful which can be a trigger for lots of us to eat. Then, you were hungry and had two candy bars right there….Try to “stop right now and get back on your plan”…

Maryblu: I like that idea of having a bracelet to remind us of whatever we need (for now..cravings). I do struggle with having my cards out at work where others would see them, etc.. a bracelet or earrings or something (didn’t we talk about tattoos on the forehead at one point?) may be a good, and more subtle, reminder to myself.

Mesmerize: Hello!

Wendylan: love the reminder that none of us are lost causes! Amen!

Coastalsue: Have a wonderful trip to NV! I wish that we could put on “delicious food deflector suits” …. For times like that-traveling away from the comforts of the routine of home. I love that you can run faster than the fast swimmers in the pool even if we aren’t supposed to compare. 

Sunday - First of five weekends in March
 

Diet Coaches - Thanks for all the encouragement for my exercising. So many different muscles, so little time. Have to remember that it's a journey, not a race.

Tonight presents an opportunity to practice eating on plan at a fancy restaurant with both young adult kids and their SO's. Don't anticipate much difficulty with appetizer, entree, and drink; my eating plan includes generous headroom for my occasional fancy restaurant ventures. I do need to be prepared for gratuitous baskets of hot breads with dips and for killer dessert options. CREDIT moi for telling you guys in advance; this will help me to remember to remain responsible rather than mindlessly eating everything in sight trying to calm my reactions to the steep menu pricing.


Sue (CoastalSue) - Congrats for another pound (didn't this same thing just happen quite recently). Did you happen to notice that you're out of the tens into the single digits? You seem to be steadily inching toward twoderland. Cheers. Have a nice trip to NV.

Thanks for the Program-day 13 summary. The key part of that for me is: Identify it. Before I identify it, my hand gets soooo quickly to my mouth without my brain participating. The response that is easiest for me is the diversion - if I get into something else, it's easier to forget the craving.

MaryBlu - Great idea to have a covert physical reminder to stick to our plans. When I was losing, I kept a playing card in my pocket date book representing, from the 2 of clubs to the ace of spades, progress in losing my first 52 pounds. Worked for me. The masculine equivalent of a charm bracelet is a heavy gold bracelet that, to me, screams "Steal me" when riding the subway. I'll have to think of a current token.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for a freezer full of frittatas - sounds yummy. WOW, was conversion to a dark chocolate person quick; you restore my prejudice that all humans are born hard wired attracted to dark chocolate. Your eating plan for the ski trip today sounds classic Beck, well done. LOL at “delicious food deflector suits” - you'll be VERY rich when you market that one.

wendy (wendylan) - Kudos for staying on plan and BIG Kudos for 44 laps.

Mez (mezmerize) - Kudos for seeing clearly what you're doing. It is amazing that a small letting go of responsibility for staying on plan provides an opening for a larger diversion, per your thoughtful, "I know now I can't let even veggies past my lips while standing."

onebyone – Kudos for noticing that you were full. Kudos for acting on your feeling of fullness with the smaller pear.

What a graphic story wandering around with 6 lbs. of weights and two bins. May I suggest that you examine the level of your food plan for the day. Until the initial 42 days are completed, Beck would have us face each day (including weekends) with a written food plan and to use the NO CHOICE or Oh, Well Responses to stand down anything not on the plan. Without a firm plan, appealing foods on the weekend will seem, well ..., appealing and allow them to slip into our mouth escorted by an "entitled" Sabotaging Thought. Big Kudos for so clearly expressing just what you did. And Kudos for rapidly getting back on track. It would seem that a written food plan would give you just the advantage you need to see your feeling of "entitled" before it grabs you. Good luck - let us know how you do next Saturday.


Readers – "… With the comprehensive, step-by-step program in this book, you’ll be able to stay on your diet, lose weight, and maintain your weight loss for life." Beck, pg 19.

__________________
XXXXXXX 7 XXXXXXX 14 XXXXXXX 21 XXXXXXX 28 XXXXXXX 35 XXXXXXX 42
Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

Good Morning Out There!

Thanks for the replies to my post of yesterday. Indeed I see that a Saturday afternoon will have to be dealt with more seriously for me.

And today is Sunday. A really really big kudos to me for doing this DVD workout called Ripped. It was generously given to me by a friend as she had two copies. I had never heard of it and the picture on the box looks intimidating and the word Ripped? Well, that's far far away, so I felt like "oh that's not for me that's for someone who's already almost fit/thin/you can see their muscles underneath their skin all over... ie. not me But this morning I woke up feeling crabby and I had carried those gosh darn wieghts with me yesterday and so I put the DVD in and I did it! I did the whole 55 minute workout and not totally like a maniac but moderating when needed. Wow. I don't feel crabby anymore. Kudos for my brain and its fantastic endorphins:dizzy:

maryblu I was put on blood pressure medication about a year ago and for the first few months I used to carry my pills around in my jeans pocket as a real reminder of what my eating has created in my life. I had the whole pill bottle and they would rattle and it really served as a reminder and an undeniable consequence of my eating behaviour. That action really did help to keep me focused on my food plan. I was reminded of that after I wrote about the charm bracelet. I may do both. I may NEED both!

mezmerize In the past I found myself binge eating on any food. For me the particular food is almost beside the point. I seem to trigger a behaviour and it just snowballs. Kudos for recognizing this and posting about it, and thanks for the reminder.

wendylan Yes, we aren't lost causes... far from it! Kudos on swimming so many laps!

coastalsue I am wishing I was going on train trip, though I definitely do not want to see any more snow! How to cope with cravings... for me it's the distraction method and the "get away from the food" strategies. If I see it I want it. Reminding myself I have food coming in x hours or telling myself I can have as much of x as I want tomorrow but just not today (the one day at a time method) will also work. Mostly it's best for me to take care of myself beforehand; don't get too tired, stressed or hungry. Workout, read positive things, write stuff... and I forget this all the time but I try to remember (I need this on a card) that each time I stay strong it makes it easier to face this same situation the next time. All the best to you and have a great time on your trip!

hbuchwald Wow. You have really planned ahead for the week. Love the frozen frittata idea. I think I may do that for myself today for the week.

BillBlueEyes Good job anticipating your restaurant challenges and planning for them. I love to try everything I've never had before so a restaurant can be tough for me in terms of choosing things. I had to laugh at stress eating due to high prices! If you end up running out of there because the bill is too high, or washing dishes to cover the cost, I guess that's unplanned exercise right? haha! Glass half full BillBlueEyes... glass half full.

HI coaches!
Ski slope challenge conquered! AND, a young couple sat right across from me as I was reading my book and set down the warm and HUGE cinnamon roll to eat and enjoy right in front of me. I was fighting salivating.... :) THEN, a group of teens sat at the end of the table with a huge pizza... I happily sipped my coffee and ate some trail mix that I brought adn was fine and dandy.

I did, however, dip into the goldfish crackers and some extra chocolate tonight. This is DIRECTLy related to my trying to piece together a big trip we will go on this summer. I was trying to fit too much into a trip back east. I have a family reunion in Rhode Island, a friend in Vermont and my grandma in Maryland (not going to family reunion)... I was looking into all options for trying to do all three with a young child in tow. NOT reasonable. My priorities are the reunion and my grandma. I REALLy wanted to see my friend and her home, etc.. too but it just cannot happen this time. I was getting seriously creative/stressed out exploring the options. LOTS of driving in rental cars and taking trains... ugh. I was thinking about the stress of the logistics of it all and of course it all costs money. I am DONE with food today and drinking water. I do feel horrible about eating though since I have been feeling sooo good lately. Making my plan for tomorrow and then to bed for me.

Happy week to everyone. Til tomorrow, Heidi

Monday - First working day in March
 

Diet Coaches - Thoroughly enjoyed dinner last night despite bumping up against my ceiling on acceptable eating at a celebration. I had my share of the three appetizers. I sampled all six entrees (love eating with family), and, although I nobly skipped ordering dessert (thanks onebyone for the helpful image of washing dishes to pay for the check), I proceeded to eat half of DW's Baked Alaska (never had it before) and some of DD's fancy pastry (she simple stops when she's had enough - that sorta makes me question paternity here). The closest thing I did to sane was to distribute very generous "tastes" of my Duck Shawarma with Cardamom Braised Leeks (another first for me).

CREDIT moi for a successful family celebration of three birthdays, including the first time DD brought this boyfriend to meet her family. Even though I reached full rather than Beck's goal of mildly full, CREDIT moi for avoiding stuffed and for holding on to feeling responsible despite some eating. So, I have no regrets, no urgency to get back on track - I feel like I'm still on track. I might try to eat a bit lightly over the next several days as this extravagance digests. Oh yes, it was my lifetime high restaurant bill; don't know if I'll ever become acclimated to the notion that it's my lot in life to spend that kind of money on dining, LOL.


Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for your stellar performance at the ski lodge. Big Kudos for identifying the emotion behind the nibbles last night. Even though it sounds like you need less options for your summer trip rather than more, we can serve as free B&B for you and DD here in Boston if that helped make Vermont possible.

onebyone – Kudos for getting ripped and Kudos for setting your endorphins lose against the crabs, LOL.

Erika (eusebius) – Sending supporting thoughts for your Piano Concerto that is sometime this month.

Readers – “The Beck Diet Solution is based on the principles of Cognitive Therapy (also known as Cognitive Behavior Therapy, or CBT), the most highly researched and effective form of talk therapy in the world. …” Beck, pg 19.

__________________
XXXXXXX 7 XXXXXXX 14 XXXXXXX 21 XXXXXXX 28 XXXXXXX 35 XXXXXXX 42
Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

Good Morning.

I am on Day 12:Prove you can tolerate hunger and cravings.

Hrmph. Don't want to do this today.:mad: Too late though. I already ate breakfast. No food now until dinner around 5:30 tonight. I have done this before, several times in fact, over the past month and now, when I am required to do it, I am fighting it. Go figure. Guess I don't like to be told what to do. Yeah. Big surprise there. I already had a sabotaging thought. I was eating leftovers for breakfast (planned last night to do this) and a small crumb of stuff was left on the serving plate. I knew I shouldn't eat standing up, but I picked it up with my fingers and shoved it into my mouth telling myself "oh this little bit won't hurt you." LIES LIES LIES. Won't hurt me? Here I am stewing over it. I can't afford the emotional cost of doing that kind of thing, even if the physical cost in terms of pounds gained is minimal.

I spent the weekend avoiding things I needed to do, not all but some. Today I feel scattered. I have photography class this afternoon. We have a live model and we each get 10-15minutes alone wiht the model to pose her and place her anywhere in the school and take her picture. Some of my classmates have scouted out the school for a good place for shots. I haven't but I do have an area in mind. I also have a customer coming to meet me at the school before class to buy a print of mine that was in the student Christmas art show. So that's some well-needed money in my pocket.
I feel rattled by things though. I am so forgetful these days. I think I'd better go make a list and get ready for school.

hbuchwald congrats for getting through the ski trip and staying on plan and good work at stopping your eating and noticing it was stress that you were trying to soothe and not a hungry tummy.

BillBlueEyes Great work dealing with the restaurant and stopping before you are overstuffed. I know that when I am out I often say/think I want "value for my money" and what I really mean is "I want to eat as much as I can get fast because I am paying for it". I often find it hard to be satisfied with "enough". I always want "more".

A good Monday to you all.

Tuesday - Ohio and Texas Primaries Day
 

Diet Coaches - Dinner last night was my monthly potluck at a meeting for a volunteer activity. For a while now I've had these under control, but yesterday I overate - not stuffed, but beyond mildly full. It felt like a continuation from the celebratory dinner on the previous night. I have to get this under control, since dinner tonight is at a restaurant with a visiting friend.

Thanks onebyone for a clue as to what I was thinking at the expensive restaurant. I'm working on a response. Something like:Value for my money is simply not a higher goal than personal responsibility - it's useful to acknowledge, however, that it's a short term narcotic hit with very strong appeal.

Not exactly off topic, I try to imagine going on a one week cruise of the sort that is notorious for continuous delicious foods of epic serving sizes. I try to picture a week of joy that includes staying on plan amidst the abundance. It's hard for me to visualize doing it with joy instead of white knuckling, Beck mantra chanting tension. But when I reach my goal of thinking like a thin person, then such a cruise should be an eating joy. Don't think I'm there yet. Has anybody done a cruise (or a resort with prepaid meals) while eating on plan, with joy?


onebyone – Congrats on the print sale! I so appreciate your response to eating the leftover crumb: "I can't afford the emotional cost of doing that kind of thing, even if the physical cost in terms of pounds gained is minimal." I, too, can feel the emotional impact when I LIE to myself over a tiny item. And that emotional impact paves the way for further mindless actions that begin the slippery slope. I continue to dream that I can do the crumbs without repercussions. Maybe, maybe not - but certainly not when I make the effort to tell myself LIES while doing it.

Readers – “… A recent study in Sweden demonstrated the effectiveness of Cognitive Therapy for weight loss. People enrolled in the Cognitive Therapy program lost an average of 18 pounds over 10 weeks of treatment. …” Beck, pg 20.

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Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

Day 13 Decrease Hunger and Cravings Day
 

"Decrease Hunger and Cravings Day". Seems like that should be an official holiday on the calendar :chin: hmmmmm...

I got through yesterday, staying even longer without food than planned. I was at a friend's place after class and she usually wants to feed me pizza (not in the plan) but she didn't this time. However, I really felt ravenous sitting on her couch. it would come and go but in all reality I WAS ravenous. I just had coffee and took the bus home. Got takeout on the way and tried to eat like a sane person. I didn't shovel it in but I wasn't too mindful either. And when offered, I ate the rest of DH's food. What can I say? Room for improvement ;)

Today is my most stressful class: drawing. And lo and behold I have actually lost my drawing homework. I moved it when I had to tidy up for the maintenance inspection last week and when I went to find it where I thought I put it last night it wasn't there. Ah well. I can do it again. 20 pages of drawings each representing/evoking a specific feeling. She made the whole class do it over last week as we all used only one pencil (horrors!) and she insisted we fill the page and use a few pencils. Last week I forgot to bring my homework with me. That class unhinges me.

We have March Break next week and it can't come soon enough. I am tired. I'll need a plan though. With the trouble I have on a Saturday a week of Saturdays could be a major challenge. Good thing I'm doing this program! And good thing I have you.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

BillBlueEyesThis feels so beautiful to me. "eating joy" Honouring abundance comes to mind. how lucky we are to have so many choices. Choosing what is best for our bodies... honouring ourselves with the food we eat. It's all so great. And definitely something to shoot for. Thank you for this visualization. It's very helpful.

hi everyone! finally well enough to type a little - i've been laid low with a fever and a bad cough for the past few days. i've never been this sick so often in my life - is this what they meant when people told me that having a baby would change everything??? i didn't realize how sick i was on saturday when i went for my long run (ended up being a long walk.) 8 miles and 1/2way through i was thinking, this is idiotic, why am i doing this, i'm tired and it sucks, i didn't bring my phone and even if i did if i gave up at mile 5 it's not like DH can drive out here with the kid and carry me the last 3 miles, why on earth would i decide to do such a stupid thing? it was actually a RELIEF to find out i was so sick and that's why it felt so bad. ugh.

trying to get it together enough to take a shower - it's votin' day today here in ohio, and those poor poll workers suffer enough without having to smell my unwashed self. here's to hoping that a shower helps my congestion!

more when i'm feeling better,
jean

Hey everybody! I would like to join your group. i bought the beck book several months ago and started it and then for some reason decided that i was smarter than a woman who went to school for many years and helped hundreds of people lose weight. DDUUHH!!
anyway my name is amy, i am married and have two kids. i need to loose about 80-90 pounds (depending on how generous i am feeling towards myself, some days i tell myself that i need to loose 100).
i used to journal on this site daily but that was some time back. so here i am at it again. i am going to give dr. beck one more try. this has to work this time, i am just getting so danged disappointed in myself for every failure that eventually something will work. so tomorrow will be day one of the beck diet for me. i will come back and post how it is going.
amy

Hi coaches,
I was just too tired to post last night so I went to bed early. I have done 2 dvd dance workouts since I set up the new dvd player in my room-yahoo! DD and I went for a nice walk with doggie this evening too-ran into a friend/neighbor and the kids played and we talked for a spell-nice! Dusting off the bike to get tuned up so I can begin training for my leg of the triathlon. Eating is going fine..I think that the newfound love of dark chocolate may be because I haven’t been eating much chocolate of any kind lately. I also think that now that I am slowing down with my eating and trying to taste my food, that I can appreciate it more. Who knows..

BillBlueEyes:
Big kudos to you on the big birthday dinner extravaganza. I love the perspective and need to remember it: that you were still “on plan” after eating near the ceiling –that is LIFE and “the plan” has to include feeling beyond “mildly full” sometimes… it is comments like that that help me shift my mind in a way that I want it to shift-away from being “on a plan” but balancing things out in order to be healthy in all areas of life. Credit to you!

What a nice offer of housing DD and I to be able to see my friend! The stress during planning came when facing the reality that I have a short window of time to get all desired activities in on this trip and the cost of getting from point A to point B (and C and D). My mom lives in Boston too so we have a place to stay there-thanks so much for thinking of it though!

Onebyone: I totally hear you on the not wanting to be told what to do! I also love the way you pointed out the idea of “paying the emotional cost even if the physical cost is low”…. So true…Your anecdotes relating to your classes, losing assignments, etc… remind me of how hard college days were for me with food/health. You named several challenging/stressful situations in the last few posts…I hope that things will calm down a bit for you!

Jean: I have never been as sick as I was when my daughter came along (and I am a public school teacher too!)-I am back now to being generally healthy now though… there are some nasty flus out there. I am glad that you cut yourself some slack on the run when you were so sick!

Amy-welcome to the group! I have gone up and down with my weight and also gotten to that “last frustration” point that I ever wanted to experience with weight. The Beck program is really doing it for me..I hope that it speaks to you as well!

Welcome Amy (gahundy)
 

:welcome: Amy (gahundy) :welcome:

Welcome to the Beck Diet Solution Discussion Group, Support Group, Diet Coach Group.

And, in case you didn't receive a proper welcome when you were last around, :wel3fc:

You certainly are welcome to join our group here. Feel free to begin posting immediately - no need tor try to catch up or to figure out who everybody is. We're going through the Program-days slowly, about one or two per week, in addition to whatever discussion about Beck and our own journey comes to mind. Jump right in.

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Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations

Wednesday
 

Diet Coaches - At the Korean restaurant last night, I chose a hot pot with Udon noodles. Got lots of hot liquid and modest volume of food. CREDIT moi. I did endulge in the shared dessert - red bean ice cream and ginger ice cream. Red bean was a first for me - it was quite good despite the incongruous image of red beans in ice cream. The ginger was good - just as you'd expect. My body is so ready for a few days of eating at home where sweet dessert isn't part of dinner and eating on plan is the way of life.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Just waving - hope your travels thru the Sierras are going well.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for progress in tasting and appreciating your food. Methinks steps like that are the core of how Beck plans that we'll think like thin people.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Ouch for being sick. Kudos for finally recognizing that you're sick; take care of yourself - I recommend the classic chicken soup. It can help you to acknowledge that you need to be taken care of. Mothers of young children are people too.

onebyone – Big Kudos for completing the hunger day exercise. How much discomfort did you feel when you got hungry and how long did it last?

What a wonderful phrase, "Honouring abundance." It makes abundance sound whole and rich rather than opulent and ostentatious.


Amy (gahundy) – LOL at your comment about feeling smarter than the book. I had that same initial reaction to The Beck Diet Solution; it seemed too simple - simplistic even. It wasn't until I actually did the exercises and observed my response to doing them that they made sense to me. Good luck as you begin the journey.


Readers – “… (Meanwhile, people on a waiting list to get into the program didn’t lose any weight.) …” Beck, pg 20.

__________________
XXXXXXX 7 XXXXXXX 14 XXXXXXX 21 XXXXXXX 28 XXXXXXX 35 XXXXXXX 42
Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

Day 14 - Yikes!
 

Good Morning Coaches.

It's snowing again. just had to get that out of the way. This winter it goes like this 1) big snow 2) very cold but sunny 3) big snow 4) big thaw/warm-up/rain for a day 5) big snow and/or freezing rain We're in a stage 5 today... big snow. Where's my trusty icon for this...? Oh yes: :fr: That'll do.

Oh wait. I can use :fr: to show you how I am feeling about progressing to Day 15 tomorrow and "officially" starting my diet. I feel like "I can't do it". Why? I think it's because yesterday I was totally disconnected from the Beck program. It's that drawing class. OMG it was so fun though. That was unexpected. AND it was a key class where things from the beginning of the semester that made no sense at all but "you did it anyway cause the teacher said so" came together beautifully. Wow. Even the weakest student in class was on the verge of producing a beautiful accomplished drawing.
SO SATISFYING... and much longer lasting than any food I have ever eaten...

But Beck just went out the window. Well I say that. It's an exaggeration. The reality is: I did not have second helpings. I sat down to eat. I did not eat unconsciously. But I didn't exercise (the biggie I am down on myself for this morning). I didn't read the book before bed. I didn't consciously work on the task given for me for Day 13.

And today I am feeling afraid of tomorrow, the official start to my diet day. I have been following Weight Watchers but not very carefully. Like I am not counting my points. I will have to do that tomorrow.

Okay I just read the page for today and it's addressing all this stuff. I felt like she was going to be harsh and tough. No, that's MY inner voice. I am being hard on myself here... and I really don't want to plan my food. But I will. I need to move forward more than I need to argue with a book about my next step.

kuhljeanie I can relate to not realizing how sick you really are until you are in the middle of doing something. Sorry to read you are so sick with a flu bug. Get some more rest and get well soon

gahundy Welcome to the board! I am new here too, 14 days old to be exact. I've had the book since November and then "lost" it. I found it two weeks ago and decided I needed it. I am tired of self-sabotage. REALLY tired of it. Like you I want to lose 80-100 lbs. Will I? Only if I work for it, and Beck is part of that for me. I wish you a willing spirit and success.

hbuchwald A dancing workout sounds like great fun. And you're getting your bike tuned up? Nice to know there's some Spring weather somewhere in the world! Enjoy it for me.

BillBlueEyes Wow you're at restaurants a lot lately. You're going to be such an expert at dealing with this situation! Kudos on handling the challenge it presents. And to answer your question, my hunger was very strong and insistent like it wouldn't leave me alone for long. I was distracted cause I was with my friend, or on the bus but my body kept directing my attention to my empty stomach. My biggest problem is not that I feel being very hungry, but that feeling very hungry (and acknowledging it)triggers in me a deep feeling of fear and anxiety. The two travel hand in hand for me. These are old old childhood things, so I am taking a deep breath and doing this anyway. Childhood is long gone and I have the tools and more to go forward to lose the weight and deal with life. What else is there to do? Go forward or go back. Things always change.

Hi everyone! still feeling like crap, under the misguided impression that having less of a fever meant that I was well enough to go back to work. I'm leaving early.

onebyone, it occurred to me while I was reading your post that you weren't even CLOSE to disconnected to Beck yesterday. When you talked about your class, you said, "...things from the beginning of the semester that made no sense at all but "you did it anyway cause the teacher said so" came together beautifully. Wow. Even the weakest student in class was on the verge of producing a beautiful accomplished drawing...: - and Amy and Bill both talked about Beck seeming too simple, but doing it anyway. That made me smile. And of course you can start your diet! You'll be brilliant at it! My big concern with Day 15 was that I hadn't done enough crazed bingeing the first two weeks to adequately shore me up for the grueling denial I was about to subject myself to. I actually ate a piece of cake on the evening of day 14 that I really didn't want, since it was the last time I was "allowed" to. Reflecting back on it now - ugh - too much misguided thinking to even know where to start. Like using the word "allowed" as though I'm a little kid who needs to be controlled. And the idea that once I'm on plan, I can't eat anything with sugar, flour, butter - no mistakes allowed. No planned treats. All or nothing. Good or bad. And it'll be this dire, this consuming, forever and ever.

I was listening to my Beck CD every morning on the way to work, and doing the exercise the next day (with a sort of one-day lag.) I got to day 26 or so and just couldn't keep up with it. I tried backing up a few days, but still couldn't find the time to do the exercises, so everything else started slipping too - reading my ARC, etc. I was still eating the same food in the same quantities at the same time, but it didn't "count" because I wasn't writing it all down the day before. So that put me on the wrong side of the law.

About two weeks ago I had a couple of epiphanies. One is that I don't have to do everything perfectly to benefit from it. Another is that I don't have to do it all right this minute. Yes folks, you heard it first - I'm going to back up to some earlier point in the program and do a soft-restart later, like after graduation and marathon, when I can focus on it. I'm not going to be half-a$$ed trying to do too many things at once, and this will wait (unlike my midterms, which are this week whether I feel like it or not.) I can eat well and exercise, and I'm not losing any ground by taking a breather from actively working through Beck. I can just use what I've already learned, what's easy to apply given the circumstances, and cruise for a little bit (9 wks) until I'm ready to re-commit. And being so sick, I've lost my appetite, a bunch of fluids, and some bonus pounds. Yeah, I know it's not healthy weight loss, and it won't stick when my current state of dehydration ends - but I LOVE seeing it on the scale. :p

Ordered my empty charm bracelet yesterday. What a fabulous idea! DH and I had a good time decided what kind of charm I would get to represent him. (Guitar.) Technically I could go ahead and get it now (on the 5's and 0's) but I'll wait until I'm eating normally again and make it permanent.

thanks again for giving me a place to think out loud about these things, and welcome Amy!

Below: Finally figured out how to post cake pictures. These two are my best so far, but I'll need to start thinking about making sugar flowers for that wedding cake soon. Maybe in April? If it gets too much I can always buy them from a supplier, and no one the wiser. Right?

i made it back. so far today all i did was find some motivational quotes and sayings that i can go to for a quick pick me up. i meant to bring my book to work to read at lunch today and in the chaos of it all i left it on the table. oh well.tomorrow is another day.
Thanks to everyone for welcoming me here, i feel like i have made friends already!

Onbyone-i am glad your drawing class was so satisfying for you! i can barely draw a stick man with a smiley face! if you are still a little nervous about the diet, stop and go over the steps you have already done, and come back to the "start the diet" step when you are ready. it's ok if you aren't quite ready yet.

kuhljeanie-your cakes are fab!! i love that sort of thing but am no good at cake decorating, just haven't applied the skills enough to master them i think. anyway, i think you are being very wise about just sticking with the steps you know you can do now anc coming back and regrouping at a better time. i know for me if i get bogged down with too much the diet is the first to go but then i have to deal with the guilt, but i think since you are making the choice to slow down with diet, etc. then there will be no guilt. good luck with your exams and keep cominghere to let us know how it is going.
amy

Greetings and Salutations everyone!

No big challenges today. I ate well and will be hopping on the treadmill or dancing around in my room after DD goes to bed. I am getting compliments in the area of my “eyes being lit up now” and “looking like I have so much energy” and “just looking healthy”! WOW. Tomorrow I am taking DD to my school’s roller skating party. That means that I get to roller skate and my students take turns taking my daughter around the rink-win/win situation! We will get Mexican food beforehand and I will have 2 small chicken soft tacos-I mention it for accountability’s sake. Thanks coaches.

BillBlueEyes: You are quite the adventurous eater-great way to keep food interesting amidst trying to manage calories/nutrients… do you keep track of what you eat or do you just know now how to balance it all out from doing this stuff for so long?

Onebyone: Your drawing class sounds FABULOUS! I love how you sound about it… passionate. Try to think about the things that you DID do well and give yourself credit for those things. I personally fight “black and white thinking”…when I am feeling like I ‘blew it” and then really look at the reality, it is rarely as bad as I made it out to be in my mind. It also takes time to build all of these skills. It will never be PERFECT (I am reminding myself as much as sharing with you) so hopefully you will be able to cut yourself some slack and do your best with what you have right now. This is life…Take it or leave it..  Sometimes it helps me to also think about what used to be… when I really would binge out or just not even care what I ate or how much, etc… I have come so far-it really sounds like you have too!

Jean: Great description of what I was trying to say above about black and white thinking! Gorgeous cakes and so fun that you got a charm bracelet. Smart gameplan to do a soft reboot later.

Thursday
 

Diet Coaches - The good news is that I still feel the fullness from the several recent eating out events. So I had smaller portions of both lunch and dinner yesterday. CREDIT moi for working the issue. Also trying to work Beck's notion of avoiding exaggerated thinking here. I can eat more on some occasions and balance with less on others. Every extra bite is not the beginning of the mindless eating where I used cookies, candy, crackers and cheese to pack on my pounds. I need to say this in front of you guys so I can hear it myself:Obviously, this is a work in progress to welcome the tension while avoiding the angst.


Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for another day on plan and congrats for all those compliments. Are you able to believe them?

Concerning your questions of how I track: I journal what I eat every day but I don't calorie count or fitday. I'm still working on my long term technique for knowing that I'm staying at a maintenance level. It's easy to stick to plan when I have full control of my choices, but I still feel the challenge of opening my plan to explore new foods and attend major celebrations. The only thought I have is to track my weekly weight against a "red line" and cut back as needed when I drift upwards - this is, in fact, what I think Beck recommends. I'm long winded here because I'm still looking for the right way to make it work for me. I was really comfortable heavily using NO CHOICE during my losing phase and am searching for the appropriate level of SOME choice on SOME occasions, but NOT SO MUCH as leads to the slippery slope. LOL at my long winded reply getting to the point - no, I don't "just know now how to balance it all out". Would welcome any thoughts you have on staying the course.


Jean (kuhljeanie) - Kudos for ordering your charm bracelet and Big Kudos for making a decision about delaying reading new Beck Program-days until you have sufficient time. Keeping yourself sane is certainly goal one and you seem to be acting wisely in respecting yourself.

Thanks for the discussion about "allowed" and being constrained by hard rules. It's useful for me to be reminded that I have no choice but to accept responsibility that my eating satisfies my long term goals to remain responsible even if it costs my short term goal of sticking to a tight plan. Most things in my life that are real are in a constant tension between conflicting goals; if I try to make my eating different than that, I expose myself to implosion.


onebyone – Sending warm support as you start the dieting part of your Beck journey. As Jean (kuhljeanie) so wisely noted, you've demonstrated your skill at moving forward on faith and reaping the rewards. You really have the right attitude with "I need to move forward more than I need to argue."

Thanks for answering; hunger is larger for you than just the discomfort that Beck's exercise is designed to show us is lower than we had been thinking. Seems like it is wise for you to be rigorous in keeping up with your meal and snack schedule to avoid having to deal with the artifacts of hunger. It's good reason to remember that your WW plan, as I understand it, has minimum points as well as maximum. Again, good luck starting that portion of your journey today.


Amy (gahundy) – Neat that you've already found quotes "for a quick pick me up." Were you already on a diet plan when you found Beck?

Readers – “… But here’s the truly impressive part: When the researchers re-evaluated study participants a year and a half after treatment, their average weight had continued to drop whereas the average weight of the people on the waiting list had increased. This is what sets Cognitive Therapy apart from other types of therapy and other types of weight-loss programs. …” Beck, pg 20.

__________________
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Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

Houston We Have Go
 

Hello Coaches

I have officially started my diet plan, weight watchers points.
I weighed in at 257.8 this morning.
I chose this as I am familiar with it, it's sane and I can choose pretty much anything I want to eat, just have to be accountable. Plus I get rewarded for exercising and that's good incentive for one such as I. It seems exactly in line with Beck's suggestions to me, and I feel a desire to do it. I am committing to this plan and if I feel it isn't right at some point, before chucking it aside I will come here and discuss it, and make another plan.
Kudos me for knowing I have choices.

I followed the book and wrote out a diet food plan for today last night. I flipped through the book looking to see if we were really required to do this the night before, even counting the pages of daily food plans vs. days in the book and yep, you definitely do it the day before. I didn't want to do it but did it anyway and this morning I was glad I did.
Imagine that. No one's more surprised than I am. It's taken the worry out of today.:D I opened to the food page and just followed orders. And as I weighed and measured things I looked at the actual amount that I had accounted for and it's more than I normally give myself. I was reminded that I often find an irony in that. In the past when I weighed and measured I often found my plate to be carrying more food not less. I have a lot to learn.

kuhljeanie I was bidding on a charm bracelet on ebay and lost. I may get the chain and make my own bracelet. Your cake pictures remind me of an artisan who sells at the farmers' market where I sell my work. She's a cake artist and her work is fantastic. Before she started at the market she did art and craft fairs. She would create a cardboard form that she would wear and she would stand inside it and decorate the cardboard with colourful butter cream icing during the course of the art show. Performance art. Delish!

gahundy Happy to see you back! Enjoy your day today and let us know how you are doing.

hbuchwald I was feeling mopey last night and popped a 1 mi WATP workout dvd into the player and after it was done I was no longer blue. I forget how powerful exercise is. I still lean towards the "oh it's gonna be hard and make me sore and tire me out" which was all true when I first came back to exercise and lasted a good 4 days, but that's not the case anymore. My body is so thrilled to be moving and I know I am only helping my heart and lungs get stronger and my butt's getting shaplier by the workout:o (where is the beautiful booty smilie anyway?)

BillBlueEyes In my family, a family of very creative folk and very intense personalities, we have a term for this very thing "creative tension". It's the state of being inbetween, searching and not being so afraid, paralyzed, or angsty that you break the flow, you stop yourself or you give up. Making things necessitates fallow periods. You have to believe these times are as productive as when you have things to show someone. And sometimes you are the only one who believes you... and that sometimes has to be enough.
So why mention this? It's a way of looking at a life as a whole that is experienced over time. Taking the longview. While indeed we live our lives only "one day at a time" we continue to make plans and look forward, or back. We didn't come to this day in a vacuum of time and space. The trick is not to be overly controlled by future events or the past, but to be present in our life right now and make choices that are as best as we can for ourselves right now. Do the next right thing you know? And food, and food plans, and eating out and everything is right in the mix. It's one of those paradoxes of truth: do the right thing today and tomorrow takes care of itself. Or something like that (I often mangle quotes). I am going on at length on this as it is something I need to reinforce to myself. I am building my future success by using Beck daily. It's a long term plan focusing on daily acts. :chin: hmmm. Heavy man. Heavy.

well i remembered to bring my book to work today, i tried reading it last night but ds insisted that i "put that book down". he misses me all day and thinks that i should be giving him my undivided attention once we get home.
i am going to decorate my "success can" this afternoon and then i will be ready to go!
so far my day has been good, no drama and no junk so that's a plus in my book.

billie-when i first got the beck book i was already on the carb addicts plan, but it didn't seem to really fit me so i stopped following the plan. i am on my own plan now. i know how and what to eat to fuel my body and stay healthy, i just have to make myself do it!

onebyone-i would write down my meal plans for the next day before i read Beck and it always worked better for me that writing it down as i go. i like to plan ahead. i hope this technique works for you, let us know!

hope to hear how everybody else is doing today!
amy

Hello everyone,I am still here although very busy.I start my working 4 days a week instead of five so I am off Thur and Fri this week.I am over the flu but still tired,I got the kids off to school and went bach to bed instead of to my ww meeting.Slept till 1pn,guess I needed it.My eating has been up and down,had 5 good days and then gave in to these stupid candy bars my son is still selling.Also got frustrated at work,the usually supportive coworkers said they are not on ww and are sick of not ordering out ,eating snacks ect...They have started bringing junk food again and ordering pizza stromboli on a regular basis.It bothered me but I resisted at work.At home however I became resentful and started feeling sorry for myself and ordered pizza and ate candy[alot of it,not just a piece].Sometimes I feel like I just can't do it anymore like something is just wrong with me,maybe an eating disorder.I hate to keep posting and saying the same things over and over,like I do well and then I just do awful and I can't seem to stop.My weight ends up going down and then right back up.I am not getting anywhere and I spend alot of money in the process.Buy all healthy stuff,fill the frig,get moody go buy take out and junk food,buy all healthy stuff,eat the kids snacks and on and on.Feel like just giving up and I don't want to keep posting the same thing over and over.

Hi coaches,

We just got back from the roller skating extravaganza. We had a great time and I got some exercise in and saw lots of my students there. Fun times! I feel a cold coming on and will be going to sleep right after I post this. Nothing earth shattering to report. I contacted the swimmer in our triathlon group to see if she wanted to take our kids to public swim while we swim laps..we are going to do that tomorrow night! AND her brother is going to tune my bike up and pimp it out with some street tires (I have a mountain bike) and whatever else I need. I reminded him that I am not in this to WIN but to finish and I truly don’t care if I have mountain bike tires or not..he is a bike guy and so wants to set me up with all this stuff. NICE! So the training begins…

BillBlueEyes: Great description of your maintenance gameplan. I didn’t mean to sound flip when I asked if you just knew what to do suddenly after losing all of your weight! I am far from being in a position to offer advice on the topic.. still figuring it all out for weight loss. I enjoy hearing your process-I am making note for when I hit maintenance!

Onebyone: I am glad that you have a plan that you are excited about that feels right! I really enjoyed reading your explanation of living in the moment…

Gahundy: What is the success can? I must have missed that post somehow???? I am interested!

Wendylan: I am so sorry that you are having a hard time of this right now. Please don’t apologize for posting the same thing more than once…kudos to you for posting-period! Sometimes it helps to read those reasons you want to lose weight… I even brought my cards out and actually did tape them up around my house-the ones that I refer to a lot. It really helps me to have those ideas in my head. It also helps me to record what I ate even if I totally binged out…it feels cleansing somehow and for some reason, sometimes makes it easier to plan the next day’s food. I know how hard it is, believe me. I also know the power of Beck’s strategies have worked for me in so many situations like that. I hope that you can be gentle with yourself as you continue to recover from being sick… all this stuff takes a lot of energy and you have less when you are sick and have kids, etc… (like you don’t know these things..right?). Hang in there….

Friday, as in TGIF
 

Diet Coaches - Just another day on plan. CREDIT moi. Lunch was a particularly tasty chickpea stew over couscous (leftovers from dinner). It's a gift of my new journey that I find a simple chickpea with tomatoes stew so tasty. Previously, I would only have noted the obvious lack of a large serving of meat.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Waving as you arrive home.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for really moving forward on your triathlon. What a motivator to have a tuned up pimped up bike. Are you doing swimming AND biking or just biking? And Kudos for the skating exercise. Do all the kids use inline skates at the rink?

wendy (wendylan) - Glad you're licking the flu and taking care of yourself. It's tough to do anything with the flu bug. Ouch for losing support at work, but it's not unusual for other people to go about their normal eating habits. We have to learn to follow our written food plans even when surrounded by food, and, much harder, surrounded by friends eating that food. Some people report that it's easier to stay on track with NO CHOICE when they have a written plan. Keep the faith, you're winning because you're staying in the game.

onebyone – So, let the journey begin. Bon Voyage! I do so identify with the reluctance to roboticaly follow instructions, per your check to see if "really required to do this," LOL. Just love your definition of "creative tension." What a powerful description of the way to lead a fulfilling life. Thanks.

Amy (gahundy) – Great that you have a plan already in place. If you haven't written it down, you might find it useful to do so. I resisted writing down my plan since I had it so clearly in my own head, but, when I did write it down, I found it very useful to articulate my plan for restaurants, eating with friends, and special occasions such as big family events and weddings. Another person who doesn't understand "success can."

Readers – “… Compare this result with people who diet but don’t receive Cognitive Therapy treatment. Research completed at Tufts University found that between 50 to 70 percent of people who started one of four widely used diets were unable to stay on their diets and continue to lose weight for a year. …” Beck, pg 20.

__________________
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Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

billie and heidi (and anyone else who may have missed it)
The Success Can: i found a quote that i just loved that said "success comes in cans, not in cannots" well being the goofy person that i am, i decided to take the first part of that quote literally ...Success comes in Cans. so i decorated a can and filled it with slips of papers that have motivationl quotes on them. some are just little short bits and some are longer, but the general idea is to keep it on hand so that when i have a hard time remembering my goals and keeping the faith i can go to my "success can" and find my motivation again.

hi y'all,

just a quick shout out. mostly i wanted to say hey to wendy, because i'm getting over the flu myself and i know exactly how you're feeling! sometimes i win the battle and sometimes i lose. sometimes it feels like i've been banging my head against the same issues for DECADES and i haven't made much in the way of progress at all. but it's just not true! right now you feel frustrated and tired and crappy, and it's real. but it's also temporary. are you getting judgemental with yourself instead of being gentle? you're still sick and having a tough time. if you just let yourself ride it out, it'll get better. i promise. :) we're all here for you when it's good, and when it's bad too.

i have triumphed over midterms! officially over. i'm still sick too, and i haven't exercised since last saturday. i'm too tired to miss is but i'm feeling a kind of guilt that's not actual guilt (guilt-light?) for resting. marathon is a week closer and i'm not a week readier, but i know i need to let my body recover from flu, and training right now is the wrong thing to do. maybe i'll try some running websites today to see what they say about skipping a week or two if you get sick - can i make it up or is this going to negatively affect my race?

happy to hear that y'all liked the cake pictures! i've still got a lot of learning and practicing to do, but maybe i've moved beyond basic beginner stuff. (yay!)

nice one with the can, amy! that's great. and kudos bill on such a huge acheivement - appreciating the great food right in front of you rather than noticing what you don't have. i'm having an awareness that this is connected somehow to enjoying the bite that's in my mouth rather than thinking about getting the next piece on my fork.

have a really wonderful weekend, everyone!

Hello Coaches: I followed Beck Day 15 to a T. Credit moi. Today is day 16 "No Choice". I already used that very phrase this morning as I tried to negotiate with myself to change my foodplan for today that I wrote last night. I didn't change it. I had no choice but to say no. I suspect this will come in handy over the next month or so. I haven't filled in my daily schedule yet and it's already almost 11 so I am off to do that, and to get ready for painting class. I love painting class.

gahundy The success can! I just finished off a giant coffee can and I have been reluctant to just throw it away. It will now become my success can! THANK YOU SO MUCH for this idea!

wendylan Sorry you are running into difficulties with coworkers and being sick and being tired. To my eyes, you obviously want to succeed. You keep trying. This is a good thing. Write down your roadblocks and write down the ways you plan to handle them next time. You have great tools with Beck. Find what will work for you use them. And if you are sick and tired you are in no position to judge yourself and how you're doing cause you're sick and tired! The fine points of anything are elusive you when you feel fuzzy around the edges! Be kind to yourself. Of course you can do this. We're here to help. It takes as long as it takes.:hug:

hbuchwald Wow you're doing a triathalon? Now there's a secret dream of mine. Kudos to you for having the drive and determination to do that!

BillBlueEyes Congrats on staying on plan. I made a cauliflower soup two days ago and I am having some for lunch today. Previous to weighing and measuring that soup would have been gone the first night. It feels weird to have leftovers in my fridge.

kuhljeanie The idea of being focused on the food in your mouth and not the next one on your fork is really a key one for me. I discovered it's really hard for me to do. Thanks for mentioning it. BTW what are you studying??Congrats on getting through midterms! Mine are overwith too. Such a relief.

All the best to everyone. Enjoy your day.

Beck's CBT in Newsweek!
 

Dear Beckies,

*sigh..I miss you....still with you in spirit, but barely keeping up with the posts.

Still frozen here in Northland. Woke up this morning to 20 below. March 6, and we are still in the deep freeze. But, hey, no wind.... I went out and started cars in my night gown. Our blood gets pretty thick this time of the year...:D:D

Here is some edification for our charm bracelet idea.....from Newsweek this week...Belief Watch.......Will Bowen, pastor of a church in Kansas City, MO, gives out purple bracelets that say "SPIRIT"...you wear it on one wrist, and when you catch yourself and stop a behavior you don't want, you move it to the other. The article goes on to talk about CBT and "thought stopping". Sound familiar??

I tell you, we are ONTO SOMETHING! I see it in all your posts, the "ah ha" moments. Kudos, all.

Hello all

Welcome to gahundy-Liked your success comes in cans ideas.

You all wrote about such important issues for changes our eating habits really enjoyed reading them and sharing so many of the same issues. I am just going to jump in with some of my responses to our short vacation. Did come back with a small gain but not worried as plan to get that stuff off quickly. In spite of the gain I have made some good changes so I am giving myself credit plus it give me much hope that I expect to continue losing and will maintain the loss permanently. Here are the factors that are helping me the most.
1. Eating quality food-a lot of stuff is bland low quality processed food in the restaurants -best meal was in a small organic restaurant-yummy and low cal.
2. Eating slowly and paying attention to taste, texture and I how feel eating it. Most time craving for me came from sweet/starchy yet bland unhealthy foods- a sense of not being satisfied-lots of cheap ice cream not as good as a small bit of super dark chocolate.
3 Forgive myself when I did blow it and think about at least one step I can do next time.
4.When wanting to eat something- 1. Check if hungry-usually not. 2. What am I feeling? Usually coping with some uncomfortable moods 3. Great quote learned here- How can any food help that problem. 4. Work on solving the mood without food.
5. Allowing myself some controlled treats during the past and during the trip really helped me not to go over board feeling it is now or never. (learned that here from Heidi)
6. I can feel my body wanting a more healthy lifestyle-missed swimming, fresh greens, stomach dislikes being stuffed. Brain now goes “why the heck did you do” that versus “You must eat more at any bodily cost or you go crazy with cravings. My brain is learning to listen to my body.-Hugh step for me.

By reading Beck, doing the exercises and posting here-I have slowly made food changes. I think it is unfair that Beck creates an illusion that a mire 6 weeks plan can completely retrain your brain thin. It has taken me a lot of practice to learn to cope with my emotions which overeating masks. It has also taken a long time of eating healthy to learn how good my body can feel when eating right-too much alcohol, salt, fats, sugar, volume make me feel icky -Hugh change-But that is the feeling which makes these changes permanent. BillBlueEyes you can go on a food cruise and stay healthy out of choice not willpower. Along with your mind you have been programming your body to be healthy and it will let you know to stop.

Big HI to all

Sue

Thank you everyone for the support I do appreciate all of it!
i am back to work for Sat and have a good lunch packed.Picked up some sale produce,strawberries,grapes,grape tomatoes,cucumbers and have them all packed along with a slice of healthy bananna bread I baked earlier.Not doing great with the food but I am trying.I do believe perhaps I am being a bit hard on myself.Also I am not sure that I will sign up for another session of ww after it ends in 7 weeks.It seems to get me all stressed out,maybe because it is at work.I keep thinking about the weigh in for days ahead and get upset because I am fallling behind others in the weight loss and I seemed to be eating alot around weigh in day.Then on weigh in day I try to not eat or drink until the meeting but then I overeat after.I will judge for the next 7 weeks but I don't think it is helping me like I thought it would. I do want to be accountable but I feel like I am adding undo pressure on myself.I am also flip flopping between flex and core and can't seem to get that right either.Flex points seem to make me focus too much on food all day and I get nervous I am going to run out and I felt hungry all the time.Core is more restrictive in choices but lets you eat until full and not count so much.Core is difficult when eating out but I am not hungry on it but crave some sweets at times. I myself would probably use a blend of flex and core if I was not attending meetings ect...Thanks for listening.wendy

Hello coaches:
Today I was in Trader Joes and hungry and ate a whole bag of TJs brand of Pirates Booty. It was good but way too much. I got into that mindset of “if I am blowing it anyway…”… and had some potato chips and some chocolate. Then I stopped. I logged it all and still the calories weren’t as much as I thought they would be-amazing. Even amidst my feeding frenzy I was going so fast but still saying what I wanted to respond with to myself (I will regret this…I deserve to take good care of myself,e tc..) but ignoring it or talking back to myself (stubborn teenage girlish)…. Ideas for next time I am tempted: 1. don’t go shopping when hungry 2. WAIT a few minutes…3. Stop and think (like Sue did)…am I hungry? If not, what am I feeling? Is food the solution to this problem?

BillBlueEyes: I feel the same way about appreciating lots of the food I am eating versus realizing what is missing. WONDERFUL! I am just biking but we are “cross training” as a support to each other and to get into better shape, etc.. and for FUN. We swam tonight.. boy, CoastalSue-I have never been a lap swimmer so really had no baseline to what I would be able to do the first time doing laps. We figured out that my friend will need to build up to doing 32 times across the pool (25 yards) to make the ½ mile that she will need to do for the triathlon. We did 10 times across and had enough. Now, I could do the breast stroke till the cows come home, I was doing the crawl and was TIRED by the end of 10 times. I felt GREAT exercising my whole body though. The kids had fun too and want to do this every Friday night! I have major appreciation for Sue’s 45-60 minute swims so many times per week! I love having the quotes from the book at the end of your messages Bill-great reminders of good nuggets from the book-thanks!

Gahundy: ooooooh… now I get the success can concept! What a fun idea-where do you get your quotes?

Kuhljeanie: I like looking at the slowing down while eating concept in terms of appreciating the bite I have in my mouth.

Onebyone: you go girl-you are on a roll! I am doing a triathlon but with two friends as a relay team. It is a sprint triathlon so is shorter than a typical one. I am doing the biking part which is 12 miles. It is a great way for me to do this and not be totally freaked out/overwhelmed. If I am up to it, I may do the whole thing next year. We will see how this year goes first of course!

Maryblu: HI!!! That bracelet thing is great-there was a guy awhile ago from a church that was handing “complaint bracelets” to encourage people to be more positive. He wanted people to switch the bracelet to the other side if they complained about something. Same concept… wow-only 20 below? Bikini weather huh? That is beyond cold… amazing that cars even run in that cold of weather. Good to hear from you whenever you can post. Take good care.

Coastalsue: WOW! You took Beck on the road and are sounding so healthy. I am having the same realization that the quality of the food matters in the area of feeling satisfied. I have always felt deprived when limiting my food intake in the past. I really do look forward to most food that I eat now which is huge. Yeah-6 weeks is not enough… I really think that many of the steps should be allotted more than one day. We are changing lifelong habits and thinking patterns which doesn’t happen overnight. Big kudos to you on all of the great things you are doing to get past that emotional eating. I need to keep that quote about food not being able to solve the problem if the problem isn’t hunger int eh forefront of my mind… You took the time to REALLy process when you wanted to eat. I am inspired by you!

Wendylan: Are your two chosen plans the WW flex and core plans? If you were to have a third backup choice, what would it be? That weigh in stuff and the stress you are going through at work because of it sounds horrible. Accountability is wonderful but if it means torturing yourself…not worth it! Can you somehow reframe the WW plan at work in your mind so that you don’t invest a lot in comparing your process to others’? I always like it when BillBlueEyes says, “my body, my process” (or something similar to that…)… Do your colleagues compare food/weight/obstacles, etc..? It does sound like you are lightening up a bit on yourself-that is good. This stuff really does take a lot of time and it will never be a perfect road (bummer huh?).

Til tomorrow, Heidi

Saturday
 

Diet Coaches - Added squats to my gym routines yesterday, finally admitting that I've been avoiding them due to weak muscles not due to protecting my knees. CREDIT moi. Tried something new last night. DW served macaroni and cheese - comfort food night. I had a small serving just so I could go back and have seconds. There's a special double comfort in that second helping that I had been missing. It worked, I felt all the extra comfort. CREDIT moi. (Ignoring the inconvenient question of whether food is for my comfort instead of my health.)

[Looking for someone to start the discussion for Program-day 14, Plan for Tomorrow]

Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for returning from a vacation so upbeat and full of good ideas. Great to have you back. Have read your thoughts three times, they are such a good reminder of the key issues. I particularly like, "you can go on a food cruise and stay healthy out of choice not willpower," to put it all into a single perspective. But of course, we're learning to make choices, not learning to clench our teeth to willpower ourselves to the healthy lifestyle. You're right that 6 weeks seems a bit optimistic for the changes we're attempting, at least it is for me.

MaryBlu - WOW, CBT in Newsweek - have we been discovered or what! Sending warm thoughts to you starting your cars in your nightgown in negative 20 degrees. LOL, so unable to visualize the nightgown section of Victoria's Secret in Minnesota.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Minor Ouch for minor eating diversion at Trader Jo's. Big Kudos for conducting the full fledged wrestling match twixt Sabotaging Thoughts and Helpful Responses - a great example of how Beck works in real life. Sometimes it works immediately, somethings the impact is delayed a bit. And Big Kudos for the terse lessons learned after it was all over. Particularly liked, "1. Don’t go shopping when hungry." I shop like a maniac when I hit the store hungry. It does take a bit of planning ahead because sometimes I hit the store hungry because that's why I had to go to the store in the first place. Oh Well.

wendy (wendylan) - Kudos for mushing forward with Saturday's lunch all packed - using produce that was on SALE even. What more is needed for happiness. You're doing great by going forward. It does seem useful to use something like my body, my process (thanks Heidi) to ward off the neggies around the WW weigh ins. Perhaps you can find a version of I'm a paying customer here; I deserve to allow myself to have a positive experience. And Kudos for continuing to post when it's feeling tough.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Congrats for triumphing over midterms. Ouch that you're still under the flu. Add me to the admirers of your cakes - I really didn't know that mortal people did fondant. I've stolen your comment for my Response Cards, "enjoying the bite that's in my mouth rather than thinking about getting the next piece on my fork." Says it better than I've heard it before. Thanks for that.

onebyone – Kudos for using NO CHOICE to stick to your food plan. You've got me thinking about why Beck is so adamant on writing our plan a day ahead. Perhaps she's working to help us separate our emotional thoughts about food from our selection of what to eat. Reading your comments helps me to realize that I don't have an unemotional notion of selecting food. The thought of a dietitian planning a month's menu is alien to me - how could one know what they wanted to eat a month in advance. Methinks that I still have room to work here.

Amy (gahundy) – Neat! You have invented putting your Advantages Response Card item-by-item into a Success Can for "remembering my goals and keeping the faith." What a fun way to do it.

Readers – “… Even more discouraging, other studies that track how people fare after they lose weight reveal a sobering trend: Most people who lose weight on any given diet regain most of the lost weight within a year.” Beck, pg 20.

__________________
XXXXXXX 7 XXXXXXX 14 XXXXXXX 21 XXXXXXX 28 XXXXXXX 35 XXXXXXX 42
Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

Hi all,

I've poked in over the past week, but haven't posted. I'm at day 20....very hard to believe...and going strong.....

My food has been squeeky clean...the biggest slip-up was picking at roasted vegetables from the serving plate, when my plate of food was gone, and we were sitting aroung the dinner table. Really....that's it for unplanned eating....wow!!! Mostly it hasn't been a struggle at all. Exercise is good too. Six days each of the last two weeks, and every day this week of either Curves or 20-30 minutes on the treadmill. Today is my 5 minute day (I like the idea of just a little planned exercise even on a day off).

I'm reading the chapter daily, referring to my advantages and some responses. Though I tend to do it more in my head than referring to the cards. I do look at the full advantage list...since it's more nuanced...but I also have a short version mantra, which I use many times a day. It's "For my health, for my appearance, for my self-esteem"

My diet coach seems to have fallen off the path. She was out of town last weekend and has had a hard time getting back. But, one of my south beach board buddies got the book and is very enthused about it....and we're doing a daily check-in in each other's journals...I consider her one of my diet coaches, but haven't officially asked.

I have one practice that I wanted to check out with you guys to see what you think. I do not plan my food in the evening, for the next day. But, I do plan and write it down in the morning, before I eat anything. On weekdays, I pack up my breakfast food, morning snack, and lunch food (often except salad, which I get at the work salad bar). At that time, I also decide what I'm having for afternoon snack, dinner, and evening snack, and I write the day down in my journal. For me, that works very naturally and comfortably. Do you think I should keep doing what I'm doing, or deal with the resistence I have to doing it the night before?

ON the health front, I went to the cardiologist this week, and the news was pretty good. My A Fibb isn't bad enough to need to go on coumadin(yeah), and the echocardiogram looked good (HUGE relief...no major heart damage). I do have a new prescription, a stress echocardiogram and follow-up visit scheduled....and a big incentive to lose weight and exercise...

Thanks for listening. I know it would be good for me to be more active here....there's a lot of wisdom, strength, and support here....