I've been with my fiance for almost 3 years. I have a 10 month old dughter and no illnesses that I'm aware of.
The problem is, I don't want to have sex. Ever! My fiance is constantly pressuring me and it just upsets me. He will even get anger at times because he's so frustrated. We have sex 1-2 times a week but I only to it to make him happy. I'm just not into it. I've tried everything to change the way I feel. He is great and is such a sweetie to me.
I don't beleive my weight has much to do with it, so I don't know what to do. I feel terrible that he gets so upset about it-but I just can't force myself to have sex very often.
Does anyone know of any herbs or foods I can eat that will boost my libido??? Seriously, I don't feel like I'm sick or anything... I just don't want to have sex. It's not HIM---it really is me. Anyone that knows something that has worked for them or someone they know would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!
I don't have anything that I know of that works for this-but I did want to come by and say that I understand.
I, too, have an extremely low drive. A lot of times stress, hormonal changes (such as from pregnancy , birth, and breastfeeding) and so forth can cause this as well.
Basically-it is an absolute miracle that we have three children.
I could also go very easily along having sex only a couple times a year-REALLY. It isn't my husband, either-he is attractive, and I am very in love with him. I just have no drive. I would much rather talk, hold hands, laugh, and cuddle than do anything else.
Congrats on your new baby!! My daughter was 8 lbs. (my first). It's nice to see I'm not the only one with a bigger birth-weight baby. All my friends freaked out because thie children weighed no more than 5 or 6 lbs.
Anyway, I feel very guilty for not wanting sex. I tell him I'm tried (and I am) but that excuse gets old the first time a man hears it.
I'm afraid to take drugs because of long term side effects, but am more than willing to try most anything else at this point.
Thanks for your reply. It's nice to kow I'm not the only woman!
Have you talked to your doctor about it? Maybe there is some imbalance? Also, do you exercise regularly? I've heard that it helps. I don't know for me, I have a naturally high libido and sometimes I drive my fiancee crazy.
You are definitely not alone in this. It might be the hormones from having a baby just 10 months ago. When I had my DD, I had absolutely no desire for a sexual relationship for the 3 yr's after she was born. I was divorced, so this wasn't a problem for me.
Now, as I've gotten older my libido has diminished. I'd rather just cuddle up and go to sleep. I find my husband very attractive but just don't have the desire that I used to have. Once a week would be great for me, but I get so frustrated when he wants it all the time. It does hurt his feelings when I turn down his advances , as I'm sure happens to most men.
Hmmm, if it makes you feel any better, My fiance and I only have sex about once every 5-6 weeks. We cuddle every night, but man, we're tired. i don't even have kids, and i imagine chassing after a baby all day would tucker anyone out. Are you on any medications? I was on Paxil, and when I get I noticed a big change.
Feel good that you are the one in control of the sexual frequency.... it SUCKS when it's reversed & it's the guy who's the one with no/low libido & always too tired & not in the mood.
I go thru phases where I am not interested at all, but I don't withhold sex from my hubby. Just like when he isnt really wanting to he doesn't hold back from me. I have found out that a lot of times when I don't want to that after a few minutes I get a little more interested in it. I am lucky however in the fact that my hubby doesn't ever force the issue (it only makes it worse for me) and that he has learned over the last few years how to turn me on, a lot of guys don't bother to learn how their wife or girlfriend like it. Having young kids is extra hard when you have to get up and take care of them in the night. I am happy my kids are older! And I beat you all in birth weight of babies 1 was 9 + pounds and the other was 10+ . OW!
Congrats on your new baby!! My daughter was 8 lbs. (my first). It's nice to see I'm not the only one with a bigger birth-weight baby. All my friends freaked out because thie children weighed no more than 5 or 6 lbs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bravelilchicken
And I beat you all in birth weight of babies 1 was 9 + pounds and the other was 10+ . OW!
Well, actually, Saber was almost a full month premature-and my due date was not the usual estimate "could be a week in either direction" guestimate that they do when they calculate it by your period. My due date was calculated by the actual date of conception. I was a gestational diabetic, and if I would have had him full term-he would have been right at around 11 pounds.
My 5 year old son was also born at 36 weeks out of 40, and he was 9 pounds, 4 ounces. My only "full term" baby was my first...she was 10 pounds, 4 ounces, and a whopping 23 inches long.
All my kids had 15" heads as well...which is EXTREMELY painful. Most babies are somewhere in the 13" or 14" range.
Sometimes I think men think the norm is 7 times a week and that at 1 or 2 times a week they are being short changed. If a wife doesn't want to have sex every time the husband wants it, is she "withholding"? I don't know.
Sometimes people are just mismatched. Has your libido diminished over time or is this actually the norm for you? A new baby can certainly contribute to being overtired. About the only thing that can resolved overtired is extra rest. Sometimes I think the best aphrodisiac for women is a housekeeper or a husband who can feed a baby and scrub a toilet.
Im with wolfena i have the reverse situation his limbdo is LOWWWWW
and mines VERY HIGH so you learn to live with it im going on 6 years of marriage and it's ok so far, hang in there and just to throw this out there there is supposed to be a natural enhancer Pinakel horney goat weed
obviously my spelling sucks so pinakel maybe spelled different
Make that another proponent of...it's probably the hormones. I had a high sex drive. Ummm...let's just say hubby complained about me never letting him rest. Hehe But since the baby, I've had NO sex drive at all. He's a year old now. I still breastfeed, so I figure the hormones are still out of whack. I don't recall having any trouble with my sex drive after my daughter, but I was a lot younger and didn't breastfeed then.
Yep-my first got stuck, too. They had to remove her with the vacuum extraction technique. My SIL just had a 7 pound baby with a 13" head...I told her I could have "coughed him out".
No sex drive! Please help!
