Sometimes it is important to stop for a minute and really look at what you are doing. To reflect on what you have done in the past and what you want in the future. I truly believe that this needs to be done.
There are many thought processes on why I want to lose weight. I need to look at what is happening to me right now ... learn about what I really need
♡ I need to make sure that I don’t develop diabetes like my mom did.. They thing that finally ended her life
♡ I just want to look good. Lets face it.. I look a lot better smaller than I do bigger.
♡ It had helped with my confidence. In the past I didn’t care what I was wearing, or what I looked like... Now I believe in myself. Don’t get me wrong, there are days.. Even months that I feel depressed or disappointed in what I am doing. I have had a hard month and a half. Binging every chance I got. And what is worse is I started to revert back to the person I was when I was bigger. The next meal was the only thing on my mind. The next cheat was my savior.
♡ When I was with the Gander’s Biggest losers, I always had someone who kept me under control. Every two weeks I was weighed in on television. Now that I am losing weight on my own, I have struggled. It was like, now I had no one to answer to. I felt like a little mouse who steals the food and goes running in the corner.
♡ I am number one in my life now, I have never done that before. If I don’t take care of myself, I can not help others. I am a very caring person, I just forgot to care about me for awhile.
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♡ I have to learn that falling off the band wagon doesn’t provide me with the privilege of binging my face off. I can have a “bad” food in my life and it will not kill me. The all or nothing attitude is hard for me to handle. I think it may be my biggest challenge . On the upside, today I had a piece of chicken and taters at Dominion while shopping. I enjoyed it and than I came home and I still exercised and following my plan. Small steps baby.
♡ In the past I have given up on myself when I down. I haven’t done that this time. I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds in the last month and a half. The old me would have fallen a along time ago. Today I am stay standing.
♡ I have to not let the scale control me. The ups or downs, from one day to the next should not cause me to give up, or binge.
There are many aspects of my life that inspires me, pushing me to continue... I need to remind myself of them
♡ My friends, inspire me. The successes they have, makes me believe that I can do it too.
♡ I am going to be apart of Gander’s Biggest loser II . I am going to talk to the organizers about being a life coach. Also I have a reunion in December and boy wouldn’t it suck to have gained weight. REALLY.
♡ It inspires me, that I inspire others. Does that make sense? When other people tell me that they are losing weight because of what I have down, it pushes me to continue, especially when I don’t want to.
♡ I like the way I feel when I am healthy and hate the way my body acts when I am bad. I feel yucky and gross, instead of glowing and proud.
This battle is just that... a battle. I may have had a bad fight but I will win the war. All I have to do is believe. No matter what.
