[buckettgirl]

Originally Posted by DeafinlySmart

One of my sisters IS neglectful. She parties all night (on a regular basis, not just once or twice) and then wants the young children to sleep not only all night but all day too so she can sleep. My sister's oldest child was in Kindergarden this past year (and now the child is taken away from her) would never take them to get medical attention even though she had free medical care. She let her child have lice for 3 weeks (and my mom kept them and medicate them but she would not do that nor would she do her house) and consequently the entire time she was out of school. She didn't go to school part of the time because her mom didn't want to get out of bed to dress her and take her to the bus stop. Her house would be in squalor so much that the health department came out and gave her an ultimatum. That's bad. There are many stories that go back 7 years. We've been helpless in the situation. The only reason the kids had anything has been because of the family. Most of the time mom (though she won't give up her kids because they are HER meal ticket as well) hasn't provided at all for the children from diapers to clothes.

If she is that neglectful then I don't think she has a choice to keep her children if she has already been reported to social services.
And as a family, I wouldn't think there is any reason that someone couldn't file for guardianship (and get it) of the children since the mom is neglectful.
Why hasn't social services taken the children?
I couldn't sleep at night if I had a family member treating children like that.

[DeafinlySmart]

Originally Posted by buckettgirl

If she is that neglectful then I don't think she has a choice to keep her children if she has already been reported to social services.
And as a family, I wouldn't think there is any reason that someone couldn't file for guardianship (and get it) of the children since the mom is neglectful.
Why hasn't social services taken the children?
I couldn't sleep at night if I had a family member treating children like that.

Social Services will keep the kids with mom if they can. Some states are more proactive than others. We have tried different ways for the past 6 years. My mom let her live with her for most of the time just so she could help the children. Most of it is known by the family but unproven. Do we like it? We've already told social services that several family members are available for guardianship (including myself and I have 3 kids already and that would make 7 kids). The way we finally got the oldest was the FATHER filed and the MOTHER didn't show up for court. For example, the Health Dept comes out and says you have a week to get this cleaned. She gets help and they clean it. Under normal circumstances that would be considered a mistake. They dont' realize that there are many many many circumstances because MOST (like lice, skipping school, and unclean house) are NOT proven. SOME states are probably more proactive. Arkansas (or at least that county) is not. In fact the girl was on probation for drug use. Instead of having to stay on probation for the whole time, she got 2 years cut off because she got pregnant. Then we kept calling the probation officer and asking him to do a random drug testing. He never did. She skipped classes, etc all time time. Nobody made her do anything about it. It was a big joke really. Have we tried? YES we have. It's not easy! We continue to try.

[kateful]

I love babies. That baby wouldn't be propped or carseated in my presence because I would be holding him/her all the time. Model appropriate bahavior for her. Maybe she'll catch on. There's nothing sweeter than rocking and looking into the eyes of a newborn.

[mel67]

Originally Posted by GreatBigMonsterMomma

Just because it doesn't hold true for you doesn't mean it's not true in general, sorry. Chances are the majority of us here right now were formula fed.

But. You did say it was your OWN personal theory, in your first post.

both my kids were bottle fed, and both are thin. I never went by any feeding schedule. When they were hungry, they let me know. When they were full, they stopped drinking. I've never believed in waking a baby up to feed it on schedule, when they get hungry they generally will let you know. as for bottle propping, yep, on occation i did that too. I didnt leave them in the room alone or anything, but there were times when it was necessary to prop. If i had let my self worry constantly about all the stuff they scare new mothers with, I'd have never gotten any sleep. Seriously, first they said dont let them sleep on their back, they might spit up and choke. then they said dont let them sleep on the their tummy because of SIDS. A mothers instinct is a powerful tool, an attentive mother that is. I know they say breast feeding is best, and I believe that. But breast feeding is not for every one. It was something I was NOT confortable with, not to mention the pain. I figured, why force myself and cause myself stress, that my baby may have "picked up on". If it was stressful for me, it would have been stressful for him in the end. I chose to bottle feed because I thought it was best for the both of us, and neither of my children had any adverse affects from the bottle, including being over weight.

As for her vehicle, I guess she'll learn her lesson while she's waiting for her car to dry out.

[liz321]

Will never know if she took the keys on purpose or not but she would have been driving back the moment I realized I didn't have my keys.......logical consequences.....and she would not be getting my vehicle again.

As far as the formula feeding breast feeding comments....I will not even go there.

Liz

[freiamaya]

Breast or bottle - as long as the baby is getting nutrition! We don't know all the reasons for the decision for the bottle. It could be vanity. It could be medical. BUT this is a personal decision.
The bottom line is that I think that your hubby might have to deal with this one, as he is probably going to be received on a better level. BUT in your house, you have the right to stop unsafe behaviour. Anything else would be negligent Outside of your house is another matter. I personally would leave if I saw such behaviour - like the time I left a friend's house because they let their 18 month old daughter run around the house with a ball-point pen in her mouth. I couldn't stand to see it. I mentioned that if she FELL, she would get INJURED, and was told "not to worry about it", so I left. Lesson learned - I just leave if it becomes uncomfortable. As for the car incident, that would be the last time if it was MY car. If it was our FAMILY car, my hubby would have to deal with the crap. Just make a second set of keys, that's all!
Best of luck with the "inlaws" (from someone who truly understands!)

[DeafinlySmart]

I read all the breast is best thing and for me, I didn't care what decision everybody else made. I made my own and it wasn't purely for nutritional purposes. I loved it. I was actually BLASTED by members of my family (hubby not included) for the choice I made (breast feeding). Women have enough troubles without turning on each other for breast vs. bottle debate.