ugh
This issue seems to be popping up a lot around me lately. Someone very close to me (no, not me, i promise) has been dating the same guy for 4 years, and has been very patient waiting for him to want to take the next step into marriage. As the years have gone by (and mind you, only four), he has become less and less interested in putting energy into what they have. He disappoints her at every holiday & birthday with crappy gifts or hardly any recognition at all, while she goes out of her way to make him happy and do thoughtful romantic things for him.
She finally sat down and asked him for a timeline and he flat out told her he had no intention of EVER being that serious with her. You would think that would be enough to wake her up and make her walk away. Instead, she decided it was all her fault that she rushed him into talking about it and that he just needs more time. Her friends actually told her that "men don't really know what they want, don't listen to him." Hah. Yeah, don't listen to someone who says they don't want to marry you? I think not. The men I've known in my life know EXACTLY what they want. If a man wants to marry you, you know it. IMHO.
Ultimate, she's settled for being a life-long "friend with benefits" for him. (Hoping secretly he'll change his mind any moment.) He gets everything he wants and she doesn't. I hate seeing people put themselves through these things. Doesn't anyone believe that they deserved to be loved, anymore?
As for this situation, it sounds to me like this guy is buying time and hoping you'll pipe down. But you know him better than I do, or any of us do, so only you can look in your heart and/or listen to your gut on this one. Do you believe what he said, or are you still worried? Just curious.
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