[sunarie]

So, as some of you may know, we're saving up for a big Disney World trip next December. It's rather large. People going:

Me, my fiance, and my son
My dad, step mom, and her two kids
My brother
My mom and step dad
My other brother and his wife (who is 8 weeks pregnant, so will hopefully also have a 1 year old)
My fiance's mom, dad, and sister
My sister and her husband

Now, everyone listed has said they're on board, and are saving up and so on. One that I've invited but hasn't said yes or no either way is another sister, her husband, and her 3 kids. So our group is fairly large, and it's going to be pretty expensive.

The vent part comes in with the first sister and her husband, listed in the on board and saving up to go group. Sister works for minimum wage in Washington, husband recently sprained his ankle and ended up getting laid off because he missed too much work due to it. He's now looking for a job with the electrical union. It's fairly safe to say they'll likely need some financial help to go. Which is fine, I offered a while back to pay their plane tickets and our parents are helping to pay for their room. This is because she expressed a lot of hesitation (understandably) about being able to save up enough money in that time frame.

Now, because of that, we've changed where we're staying multiple times, trying to find a place where it's cheap enough for family to stay in relatively the same area as part of my family (my mom, stepdad, brother/wife, and sister/husband). Really, everyone is going to be staying in the same hotel, but since my parents don't have a lot of extra income, especially with two weddings last year, them paying for my sister is expensive and we're just trying to find a place that works for that scenario. Originally we wanted to do the animal kingdom lodge with the savannah view, and then it got moved to one of the cheaper hotels, and now we may not even be staying in the park, which is really disappointing to other parties involved.. and it is literally all just trying to accommodate my sister.

Now, even all that was okay until I started noticing some stuff. This sister that the entire trip keeps changing around for is saving up to go to Costa Rica next year. I received a thank you letter from her wedding talking about her future plans. Lots about how she loved her honey moon in Costa Rica, and they're planning to go again in 2016 and saving up for that. No mention of family trip to Disney World. At that point I talked to her about it, cause my brother was getting concerned about having to change plans to accommodate when she didn't seem excited. She explained that they wrote the thank you letters before she knew about the trip. Nevermind that we were planning the trip before her wedding in September. The thank you letter was -really- generic, so I just sorta let it slide, maybe they did type it before the wedding. Let her know she wasn't obligated to go if she didn't want to and all that stuff. She assured me that she was excited, her husband had never been and they were saving up for both vacations.

Now, that was around a month and a half ago. My sister has not been involved in planning. Hasn't been asking about pricing, where we're staying, none of that. Generally seems a little uninterested but it could also be that the trip is still pretty far out. Money will need to go down on places to stay soonish though. Especially if we want to get a good deal on staying in the park (which we may not be able to do, that's still up in the air).

Today, her husband posts a status on Facebook about how they have a financial adviser. The adviser is awesome and has helped them come up with a plan to pay for their Costa Rica trip and pay of her 30k student loan in two years time. Once again, no mention of Disney World, and it seems odd that it'd be missing in a post bragging about how they can save up for so much stuff. I also fail to see how someone making $11.00 an hour (which is what my sister currently makes, I only know cause the last time we talked she was complaining about it) and someone who doesn't even have a job yet can hope to save for Costa Rica, which they will have to pay for themselves, and pay off a 30k loan, and save up any substantial amount for Disney World on top of that. This on top of surf trips and all that they regularly take anyway.

Now, none of that would really irritate me. I don't care that she wants to go to Costa Rica, it's good that she's paying off her student loans, and I'm happy she gets to surf often, which she likes to do. The part that irritates me is that we're literally planning our vacation around her at this point, a bunch of people are pitching in money just so she can go.. and it seems like she's just expecting us all to pay her way and accommodate her. I don't have an issue with helping out, but she needs to actually be saving if she wants to go too.. and it just doesn't appear like she is. She's got a lot of stuff she would rather spend money on, and that's fine.. but then I don't want her sitting and telling me she's saving up when she's not.. or how the trip is really important to her when, based on actions and announcements, it doesn't seem to be.

It may sound selfish, but I don't see why they can't postpone the Costa Rica trip. They were literally just there. It's a place you can visit at any point and get relatively the same experience. This Disney World trip is likely going to be a one time deal. Even if it isn't, the next time we'd go would be in years. It'll be entirely different for the kids involved. My son is going to be 8 when we go. This is the only trip where we'll get that child-like wonder at the stuff. It's not something that'll be the same if she waits until the next time we're able to go, when he's a teenager and all, and she has expressed wanting to be there for the whole childlike wonder part of things.

I'm at a point where I'm frustrated and sort of want to revoke my offer of paying for her plane tickets. I know that'll cause drama though, and I really don't want to deal with that either. I also don't know if maybe I'm just over-reacting because I've been stressed lately. I do feel like she's lying to my face whenever I try to talk to her about it, and I don't really like that feeling.

[EagleRiverDee]

I understand the vent. I have no suggestions. It does seem as though your family is being taken advantage of.

One thought I did have while reading your post was- rather than staying at a hotel, have you considered renting a house where all of you can stay? Maybe check AirBNB or something? I've gotten to where when I travel I will look for condo or home rentals instead of hotels and usually it's a lot cheaper. That may help.

Other than that, I wish you good luck with the sister. I would think that a once-in-a-lifetime family get-together at Disneyworld would excite her. It would me!

[sunarie]

We have looked at renting a house. The problem with that is then we aren't staying with other people not in that immediate family. So one brother, my dad and stepmom, my other sister (with three kids) if she decides to go, and then fiance's family. So we're essentially picking one family over the other and I want to avoid doing that. We wanted our own room to have a "neutral" area, as my mom and dad have not been known for getting along. They do a bit better now, but it'd still be awkward.

It's going to be a little over a week long trip, idea being there are lots of parks so they don't have to see each other and can split time with their grandson (and fiance and I).

Plus, this is the last time we'll get to go to Disney World in years, in all likelihood. I was really looking forward to getting to stay in one of the themed hotels. We are going through Dave's Disney Vacation Rentals, so rooms are around half off as is. A 3 bedroom room in the park was the same price as a large rental house they were looking at.

Thanks for the suggestion though. What we're probably going to do room-wise is just take care of our own, and then my parents can worry about her if they choose to. Hopefully that won't create too much drama. Suppose to be a fun trip.