[Candeka]

Instead of getting embarrassed about men seeing me buying health/weight loss stuff, I get embarrassed with its young people. It doesn't bother me if the person is 35+ but I get really really self conscious if the person is between 17-30, male or female. I think it is because I feel they are less mature and far more likely to be thinking or even saying rude things as opposed to being understanding due to life experiences. I hate working out or running near young people. I loved the water aerobics class I took last year since everyone was at least 40+. Being 22 at the time, it was kind of funny but they were really awesome ladies!

[Liz31]

I do feel that if am looking at anything to help with exercise or anything like that in shops I do feel that I shouldn't be looking at it coz I feel that the people who can see me looking at it are thinking 'why are you looking at that, you won't use it and you won't lose any weight'. Same goes for if I buy anything, the people on the checkouts will be thinking the same. So it puts me off looking at things or buying something.
Also the same reason why I don't go to gyms or go to weight watches or something like that - its what other people thinks that puts me off - I think there thinking I really shouldn't be there as there is no hope for me and I will never lose any weight, or just put the weight back on.

[Palestrina]

I think the more you do it the more comfortable you'll feel with being public. I just bought a bike a couple of weeks ago and I was petrified to even go in the store! I mean, I haven't ridden a bike since I was a pre-teen. I was certain that the bike wouldn't hold me, or that I wouldn't remember how to even ride it, or that the salespeople would think I'm too fat to even sit on a bike. The guys that work there are tattooed, and everyone that shops there is fit and knowledgeable about bikes. But I couldn't get around it, I needed to buy a bike from someone that knows about bikes so I did it and guess what, even if they did judge me which I don't think they did, I rode away in my new bike and feel great!

Try not to be so hard on yourself, I'm sure this guys wasn't thinking anything negative. I know it's hard sometimes when you approach someone for help with what seems a delicate matter but it'd be different if she passed the buck to a guy about buying tampons or hemorroid cream you know? Fitness is different than those personal items.

And think about the other hand, how might this guy have felt about you seeing him working a retail job? I know that if one of my students' parents saw me working retail I'd feel super self conscious!

[MAK247]

I suffer from social anxiety so I tend to be anxious and embarrassed by pretty much all aspects of life, and it is worse with men than women for some reason. That being said, I would much rather a young, attractive man see me buying fitness gear than a big mac.

When I ate a lot of fast food and junk, I kept a mental note of how long it had been since I had gone to each fast food place or grocery store because in my head the employees were remembering what I got and judging that fat person always getting such and such junk food.

While I feel judged no matter what I do due to my anxiety, I feel much less judged for making smart choices than bad ones.

The thing about this is if they are strangers no matter what they are thinking in 2 mins they will forget al about you ever existed. People are too wraped up in their own lives.

I had someone scoff at me once ordering a burger. That I can almost understand. Doing anything healthy though? That I really could give a cr_p what anyone MIGHT be thinking. After all I am trying to get better.

[GlamourGirl827]

Thank you everyone! There were so many helpful comments, and great points. Strangely enough, in every other area of my life I don't care what people think which is why its so odd that the thought of a fit guy seeing trying to lose weight gives me such anxiety. And knowing him made it 1000000000000000000x worse...

Crispin - I never thought about it that way, that a person very into fitness would get excited to see someone else, presumably someone unknowledgeable and new to fitness, taking on a healthy lifestyle since it gives the fit person someone to "preach" to, and I don't mean that negatively.

Alaskanlaughter- I'm just the opposite, very hypervigilant...I am extremely aware of my surroundings, those in it, what they are doing, saying..DH is the same way. A big part of it is actually trying to be 2 steps ahead of a "bad" situation, like people fighting near by or danergous individuals. Unfortunately, because of this, I can;t even shop without fully being aware of evrything going on around me. That even includes people's conversations, with most of my focus on people that seem threating...apparently its related to growing up in a disfunctional, abusive home..thats what I've been told anyway. The weight thing is different, I dont feel threatened but its basically impossible for me to ignore people.

Also your buying pasteries after running, I would not be able to do that. Seriously, especially if I had any weight to still lose, I wouldnt go.

IanG - "They all know I was fat" I love this line because I act like they don't notice I'm fat until they catch me trying to lose weight! But really its like Hello! they can see I'm fat, what am I trying to hide? That I don't to be fat?

JeniH- I am the exact same way with buying fitness stuff, and the anxiety is at its worst when I'm bigger. I try to stroll through and act like I don't care, seriously I could have written your response. The only gym I go to is women only. The only way we differ is other embarrassing stuff I'm fine with. After I had this baby I had the worst hemrrhoids!! I went to the store and bought tucks, stool softeners, laxatives..and huge grandma maxi pads b/c I was still bleeding...I didnt give two flying pucks who saw...but when (in the same grocery trip) I bought some Lean Cuisine meals, I was soooo uncomfortable...

Wheresmychin- "So where is your fear or angst? That someone you recognize sees you making an effort and that you are worried that in a few months time you wouldn't be "making the effort anymore?" ...I think this is a very large part of the reason. I'm afraid they are seeing the fat girl making a pathetic attempt to lose weight and are rooting for me to fail. Kind of sad I think that way.

Candeka - I felt this way strongly when I was younger, now its just men that are fit, and the younger they are the worse I feel. I think a lot has to do with I spent most of my time with guys as a teen, and I have a little brother so he and his friend were over a lot. I actually get along really great with guys, but I know they are ball busters. I just seem to think all men are having a good lugh at the fat girls expense, and just expect her to stay fat.

Liz31 - "I do feel that if am looking at anything to help with exercise or anything like that in shops I do feel that I shouldn't be looking at it coz I feel that the people who can see me looking at it are thinking 'why are you looking at that, you won't use it and you won't lose any weight'." I get this feeling. Like this is part of the humor in seeing me buy a fitness item, that I will get over the novelty and stop using it and stay fat. I also struggle because I had lost weight, I was a runner but I put on a ton w/ this pregnancy, and actually I did the same with each baby, but lost it. I feel like its assumed that I know nothing about health or nutrition, that I am on some quick fix fad diet, and now I'm buying a pedometer because I plan on losing all my weight by walking some extra steps...like I have no intention of doinging anything harder...like I'm so disillusioned that I think I'm going to get a hot body by counting my steps and nothing else. ..yup I'm wacky!!

Wannybeskinny - I didn't think about him being uncomfortable with me seeing him in his job, because I was so wrapped up in him thinking I'm a loser. Hmm, that is a very interesting point of view. It never occures to me that some in better physical shaped than me would ever feel uncomfortable for another reason.


Mak247- "That being said, I would much rather a young, attractive man see me buying fitness gear than a big mac."...I would die, just die. I probably attempt to sneak away or out a bathroom window or something like you'ld see in a sitcom. I will not order fatty food infront of someone like that, and actually, even though we do not go to McD's often, I will not go in and eat. DH points out if I saw anyone in there, then they would be IN the McDs eating the food, so they would not be doing any better diet wise. But still I wont go in.

Thank you everyone again. I didn't get a chance to respond to everyone, sorry. I started this about 2 hours ago, stopped like 100 times (baby) and was only using one hand when I was typing.

[newleaf123]

The only time I can remember feeling embarrassed was when I was a 44-year-old mother of a 8- and 10-year-old with only 1 item in my shopping cart at Wal-Mart -- bumping into an acquaintance. The 1 item was a home pregnancy test. We chatted for a bit, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough.