[KindaSortaAthlete]

Silly question of the day!

My whirlwind romance ended about a month ago and I can't stop thinking about the guy! Ugh!! I really wish I could. I was thinking that I need to learn the secrets for getting over someone quickly, I think that'd be a really great life skill to have. That got me to thinking about the will power and determination that might take...which got me thinking about how much will power and determination it takes to lose weight!

So folks, which is harder - getting over someone or losing weight?

I feel like I at least know the rules of the weight game...I'm a bit clueless about the other one.

[nitrus29]

losing weight is definitely easier!! I'd say hit the gym to get him out of your system.. getting rid of the negative emotions is like getting rid of excess fat.. you will feel much MUCH better & look good too !! Focus on yourself.. the less you think about it, the better!

[Ambrosia]

Getting over someone. It usually puts a wrench in my weight loss efforts. Just focus on losing weight, your hobbies and when you're feeling better start dating again.

As cliche as it sounds, time heals all wounds. One day you'll look back and this guy will be just a distant memory.

[curvynotlumpy]

As someone going through her own recent heartbreak, definitely getting over someone! While we all have our own 'relationship' with food and exercise, we control the situation i.e. how much exercise we get, how and what our food choices will be, etc. We negotiate only with ourselves and make choices accordingly. In a relationship we work with and collaborate with our significant others. Sometimes we're successful, sometimes we're not. Sometimes people can love and respect each other immensely but they just aren't on a similar path so they part for the better. Food and exercise don't have feelings and emotions (they're so easy!)

Things I've never wondered about during my weight loss journey:

Is food cheating on me?
Why doesn't food call?
What does food see in her that it doesn't see in me?
Does food think I'm too needy?
Is the elliptical upset with me because I cut our workout date short?
I wonder if my running shoes like me?

Yeah, people are much more complicated.

Take good care of yourself; it's only been a month. Time and distance makes things easier. Great thread by the way!

[elvislover324]

Curvynotlumpy's questions from a food point of view made me smile.

In my opinion, losing weight is easier (and I don't say that lightly AT ALL).

Losing weight is all about science, calories in and calories out.

Having a broken or yearning heart? There is no logic, no science, no shut-off button, no mind eraser, NOTHING. I agree that time does heal all wounds but deja-vu moments can instantly transport us back in time like a minute never passed.

I hope you find something that helps you through this. It just plain sucks.

[jm474]

Getting over someone has been much easier for me for sure. It didn't take me 10 years to get over my broken engagement but it's taking me 10 years to get this weight off and keep it off.

Good luck with moving on with your life!

[ChickieBoom]

So true elvislover. I was dating someone for two months and I thought things were going great and then BOOM...he went ghost on me. I have no idea why or what happened. The uncertainty is KILLING me and I'm really trying not to take it too personally or let it shatter my already fragile self esteem.

I don't have those problems with my diet. I know that if I stick to plan and exercise...my weight will go down. There is no mystery and I don't need to rely on anyone else. I am completely in control of my own peace of mind. If I don't do what I'm supposed to do...I have no one but myself to blame. There is huge comfort in that for me.

[bargoo]

Getting over someone is MUCH harder. You have a choice to lose weight but having to get over someone is not by choice but still something you have to do.

[surfergirl2]

Ha, good question. Losing weight is easier in the short term, harder in the long term. Getting over someone is really hard in the short term, but it's just a matter of time. A LOT of time.

[sacha]

It depends on the relationship. A short-term boyfriend or a marriage? Two totally different things....

Getting over my first boyfriend (2 years, no sex) was super easy compared to my fitness journey. If my husband & I split tomorrow? That would be more life devestating for sure.

[KindaSortaAthlete]

You guys are cracking me up and making me feel better

nitrus - oh trust me, I am definitely trying to exercise that guy from my mind!! Although then I usually just think that the more I get in shape the more I can rub it in his face if I ever see him again... Gotta stop the thinking about him part and just be happy for the me part

Ambrosia - you know there's a reason why time is a 4 letter word.... Haha

Is food cheating on me?
Why doesn't food call?
What does food see in her that it doesn't see in me?
Does food think I'm too needy?
Is the elliptical upset with me because I cut our workout date short?
I wonder if my running shoes like me?

Curvy - this cracked me up!!! I seriously laughed out loud!

I agree with the rest of you that because getting over someone involves things outside of our control it presents a unique challenge vs. weight loss.

jm474 - so far you're the only one to answer the other way!

Chickieboom - I can sort of relate. Things were going amazingly well with my guy until out of the blue he said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, and oh how he wishes he met me later when he was, and maybe if I don't hate him we could try again sometime in the future. Of course I'm not waiting for him, but the thing I find hard is that up until that point he didn't do anything jerky! So there was nothing bad to curtail my warm fuzzy feelings for him...aside from the fact that he didn't want to date me anymore. Heh.

If only we had a big fight, or he did something bad...maybe it'd be easier to move on. I'm sorry you're dealing with all the uncertainty.

Oh well, I've been inspired by this thread and I've deleted all our texts from my phone so I can no longer re-read them thinking "See, we were really good together!" And I've also defriended him on Facebook. Yikes. I think I just need him waaaaaaay out of sight to be out of mind.

[sacha]

I was dumped in the same way - everything was perfect and then suddenly he sprung the whole "not ready" thing.

Looking back (as this was about 8 years ago), I can see that he thought I was a nice person but I just wasn't what he wanted in a long-term wife. In some ways, I wished he was a jerk, because then you can get angry! But it's a whole other ballgame when it's a decent person with a genuine reason who is just being honest.

Men, they can't win can they??? Hehe.

[Cali Doll]

The harder of the two is losing weight, IMO. I get over people relatively easily. That works out well for me because I get attached to people rather quickly, too. :P

For me, distracting myself with hobbies and other things expedites the healing process. I don't think I need to explain why losing weight is difficult. Despite the "science" behind it, it's not easy. If it were, everyone would be skinny.

[Mandolina]

Seeing how I have successfully gotten over guys, but I've never successfully lost weight, I would say losing weight is harder, though losing guys hurts more. I definintely wish my weight would up and decide to leave me one day.

[Missy Krissy]

It depends on the person you're trying to get over.

If I'm using my own past relationships as an example, then I'd say that losing weight is way harder (because I was usually the one doing the dumping, ha!). Like Sacha said though, getting over my husband if he up and left me tomorrow? That would be entirely different.