[amandie]

Love, I just wanted to give you a hug and tell you that while I don't know what you look like but I can feel that you are a beautiful person with a lot to offer. I wish you would not be so hard on yourself especially with how far you have come with your (near) 50lb loss. I know it isn't easy getting yourself out there and opening yourself up to possible heartaches. But isn't that better than wondering what if?and missing out on possibilities. Eventually you will meet the one that will love ALL of you, even your "tiger stripes."

[Doomkitty]

24, almost 25, so not old but old enough to know a little better.

I haven't actually dated in 5 months. I've been single almost 2 years. I don't know what possessed me to try dating again. Hmm...I met someone and I think that kicked it all off again. This guy really likes me but he's quite intense, somewhat possessive in a way? So I started thinking about dating again because it kind of gave me the itch but I can't deal with someone wanting to practically marry me in the first month of dating... Actually, we aren't even dating and he still suffocates me...

Maybe I should wait until I'm in the 120's, that might lift my own self-confidence more. =)


@amandie Thank you so much, I really appreciate it, you're a very kind woman. =)

[luckystreak]

Originally Posted by lovedancelive

Thank you, lucky. =)

There has been a somewhat unexpected downside to this weight loss - I've begun to suspect negative things of those around me.

I started talking to a new guy last night on a dating site. So far, he seems like an amazingly hilarious person to be around but he asked to see a photo of me. I'm shy, I don't take many photos of myself, so I sent him the one I took after I cut my hair last week. Then he said, "I don't mean to be a weenie but do you only have face shots? I've just been catfished in the past." On one hand, I understand - people who take only face shots to trick someone are going to get caught anyways. A person is either attracted to you or not, no use in hiding it. On the other hand, I'm thinking, "Well, I'm thin but I have faded out stretch marks...how long until he ditches me?"

I understand that attraction is important. I don't want to date someone who is obese myself, I'm not programmed to be sexually attracted to them. I'm not mean, I'm just being honest. I wouldn't have found me sexy at 181 pounds either. But now I'm looking at all of these guys thinking, "How long until you see them and leave?" I don't let it show, I still flirt and talk up a storm but it's always in the back of my head - you're going to judge me on how I look instead, I know it. It's really negative but hard to stop.

You just cant be so hard on yourself! Stretch marks happen, nobody is perfect. Once you love your body and who you are, it seriously becomes hard to even imagine a guy not liking you baha! i know that sounds conceited, and I by no means think im better than anyone else, but I do know Im special and Im beautiful and you know what, the guys themselves are far from perfect, they're not Gods gift to the world so why do you need to be?

[Thinforme]

Have you ever seen the movie "The Help”?
You should tell yourself everyday that ”your smart, your intelligent and your important" and include your beautiful. Find at least one thing you like about your self every day. Trust me confidence is sexy. You have to love yourself before someone else can. Try self help books or possibly even therapy "you seem to have a very negative self image" you've lost fifty pounds sweetie enjoy it, reward it and love it.