So we know I just made a post about online dating, so of course this would come up, haha, I don't know. Anyway, I had come across a particularly good-looking fellow and then I lost him, and was trying to find his profile again. Well, long story short, during this process I came across my ex's profile. The one from a few months back that broke my heart momentarily and I thought I had gotten over.

Well apparently I have not. He had written a long poem in his "about me" that appears to describe himself and the kind of girl he's looking for. It's totally adorable and just reminded me of how much I liked him, and how much I miss him. I want to message him and tell him just that. I did text him, but just with a simple "Hello", nothing to indicate that I'm sitting here mourning our relationship, lol, but I'm already regretting that decision. He hasn't actively sought out to speak to me since we broke up; any communication we've had has been me just touching base and seeing how he's doing. I'm almost wishing none of that had happened. I want to tell him I miss him so much but it's obvious that he doesn't care that much about me so it's useless.

But good lord do I miss him. I'm mostly writing this here to keep myself from writing it all out to him, lol. But he was crazy in a good way and he always kept me on my toes and well, he was the first guy in a while that could make me forget about the last guy I was hung up on, haha. And he is the absolute best looking thing I have ever laid my eyes on. Everything about him made my world light up and now I just wish I had him back so my world can light up again. He made me laugh and for the first time in a while, I was completely happy with him. I mean I'm okay now, but not like I was when I was with him. I know I need to move on and someday I'll find someone like that again blahblahblah, but for the moment, I just wish I could see him one more time.

I thought I passed him on the road the other day (we live in the same area so it's possible) and I almost jumped out of my seat. I doubt it was him, but just the thought of seeing him again made me so excited and I honestly don't know what to do. I miss him. I don't know why I wasn't allowed to keep such an (seemingly) amazing person in my life. Sad Lauren is sad.

The end.

For me, my motto is "an ex is an ex for a reason". Whatever made you 2 go your separate ways, is probably still there. We have a tendency to forget the bad & look at the good in a romanticized way. I admit I've done it myself in the past. I'm guilty....but I learned.
Do what you have to do to get your mind off of him, because it will only make you crazy, miserable or both. Get back to looking for that new guy... he may be every better than the guy you're hung up on. But you'll never know unless you give it a chance.
"Keeping in touch" (& yes, I've been guilty of this) is what is KEEPING the wound open & KEEPING you from moving forward. You in all honesty are cheating Y-O-U. And as you said yourself: "...it's obvious that he doesn't care that much about me..." Yes, that hurts like ****, but you deserve better, you deserve to be happy.
I was soooo hung up on a boyfriend years ago that even when he cheated on me, I kept in "touch with him". It kept my heart torn & I may have missed out on some great guys...I know looking back I wasted waaaay too much time on him. Because like your ex he "just didn't care for me as I cared for him". Letting him go will actually let you go, you'll be able to heal & move on to a happier & healthier place.

Lauren, you WILL find love, but you won't be open to it if you pining for someone who isn't there. You won't even see it because of this guy who doesn't care for you the way you want & deserve. I let mine go, dated different guys & about 5 years later I met my soul mate...we've been married for over 23 years. And H? He treats me even BETTER than my ex did when we were at our best.