Considering that the collective mind of 3FC is much smarter and practical than I could ever hope to be, I think you all would be perfect to come to for this piece of advice.
For those of you who don't know, I work as a teacher. I'm a special education teacher in a middle school. It's in a rough area—I knew what I was getting into when I accepted the position—but I'm passionate about making sure that children who are disadvantaged get every bit of education they deserve.
It's only my second year being a teacher and last year I wasn't all that happy with my position (but I did love working with the kids). I was doing pullouts and I was at the mercy of the classroom teachers most of the time. I advocated for my students and pushed to receive lessons in advance so I could, you know, prepare and make sure that I could tailor the lessons to the kids. Didn't happen most of the time.
So I worked hard and after an exhaustive job search secured a position in a school a bit closer to my house. Also, this one was appreciative of the technology skills I had and I would have actual access to a SMARTboard, go figure.
Well after the first week and a half of school I'm dreading going back already. It's not the children, even though they are difficult, but rather the expectations placed on the teachers. As a new teacher there are several things I just don't know yet, things that come from experience and that I have to learn. I generally have no problem when someone says "hey, next time do this." but I do have a problem when that feedback is given to me with the attitude that I am inferior for not knowing it in the first place.
I'll admit that when given feedback that I will sit, listen, say "ok, I understand, alright, etc." because I am PROCESSING it (after studying special needs I am almost convinced I myself would have been classified as special needs, but that is a story for another time and place). My boss seemed to take this as shutting down and expected me to know things that come with experience. When confronted about this I said that I knew I needed to improve and I was working on it. It's only the beginning of the school year...I need time to improve though
It's a bit difficult being a Special Ed teacher who works with a Gen Ed teacher because you're in their classroom and don't want to upset general classroom procedures, etc. not to mention that my Gen Ed teacher has been teaching as long as I've been alive so I was looking to her to learn a few things! Unfortunately following her classroom procedures only served to get me pulled aside for more talking to.
I also was expected to bring some technology. Unfortunately I wasn't aware that I needed to bring it. It was mentioned earlier in the week as a possibility but never brought up again. I probably should have asked about it, but forgot in the chaos of the first week. I was scolded for that.
I've done a lot for the school and it all seems for naught (I've been pushing for certain technology, I'm in charge of others, etc.). I've been working 10+ hour days and while I'm not tired I'm just...not feeling it. I'm not expecting to skip into work all joyful and happy each day but I don't want to deal with years of tip toeing and being afraid that I'll make some mistake.
Yesterday I found myself looking into what's always been floating around in the back of my head: writing. I love writing and would love to make a career of it (especially health related at this point) and I've found several options. There's no guarantee they'd pan out, however. But still, writing for a blog, newspaper, etc. seems like something I would enjoy. However I wonder if it would be a "the grass is greener on the other side" type of scenario.
I just feel lost right now. I feel almost like a failure because I'm 24 and don't feel solid in my career. I also feel like a failure because I worked my butt off to get a freaking Master's degree in education only to now think about moving away from the field. Granted, I've read about other options regarding my degree and it's given me a number of skills I wouldn't have otherwise...but still, I got an education degree so I could, you know, educate.
I've told myself to thus far take it one day at a time. I've told myself: "just make it through this week and then decide." which I'll probably keep doing each week until June
Any advice? Like I said I'm just...lost. I know I wouldn't be the first one to say "oops, not what I want" but it seems like I should have realized this a couple of years ago.
I have a theory that school administrators treat their teachers like they treat the students in that school. And the whole assessment/evaluation makes everyone crazy as it does not take into consideration so many elements that impact student achievement. Money/jobs are at stake. Can you tell I am a refuge from the system? :-)
I've made money as a writer in my day. You can find lots of info on the web.
Writer Beware Blog is a good resource - http://accrispin.blogspot.com/
One thing you might try if you need an income coming in is working for one of the tutoring services. I've tutored for the school district, and I really liked that job :-) but with huge statewide budget cuts we lost all that money.
And on other hand - it may be that another school would be a better fit for you.
Last edited by froggydawgy; 09-16-2012 at 10:16 PM.
I think education is the toughest career out there (I'm biased since I'm IN education, and so is my mom). I admire the crap out of you, you have taken on a very hard position that most people can't/won't/don't want to do.
I am one of those people who always kind of follows my heart; I have often cast aside what is expected of me, and people often have called that irresponsible. BUT I believe that life is to dang short to be miserable in a job. I'm not career oriented whatsoever; I wish I'd have known that before spending so much time and money on my degrees -- you live you learn.
That all being said, my best advice would be to do what you really want to do. If that means getting through this school year while pursuing writing on the side then NEVER going back into a classroom, or if it means leaving before the end of the first semester/quarter/block, or if it means this is just a rough patch at the beginning of a long career in eduction. . . just really listen to your heart and try to block out that voice of expectation.
i switched careers after 8 years in a field...i spent 8 years as a reporter/photographer and a few years during that time ALSO as managing editor of a weekly newspaper....i was SO d*mn proud of that newspaper too! my staff and i won statewide awards, we upheld a high standard of excellency by journalism standards etc
then i moved to another city with my now-DH and i got a job as managing editor of their local weekly newspaper....it was AWFUL the publisher was a nightmare to work with and that's speaking kindly lol....i worked FAR too many hours with limited resources and staff and was expected to compete with a daily newspaper, which will NEVER happen for a weekly
i quit after just a month or two and promptly pursued my "next love" of careers, which was working with children....i taught briefly at a preschool, earned my national childcare credentials and was hired as a manager of an elementary-age childcare program...i've been there now for 8 years as well and still love being there
i dont have a whole lot of advice, just sharing my experiences....things might be better at another school or perhaps at another grade-level...could you transfer to elementary spec ed or high school spec ed?
First of all, as someone who is much older than you, being 24 and not solid in your career is not a problem. Trust me. If you change your mind and decide to do something else next week, it's not going to be frowned upon and if you are comparing yourself with your friends -- don't. They don't know either, or rather, very few of them have found their perfect career.
As for your job right now... I can't speak on it, because I'm not in education.
But, you have to figure out if this state of affairs is something you can work with or not. If you can work with it, then you need to talk to your administrator that is correcting you and request that the information be given in a different way. In turn, you'll probably have to learn to give feedback when you are thinking about how to handle a situation that you've been corrected on by saying "I'm thinking about you've said. I need to figure out a different way of approaching it because I was thinking that was the more efficient way and you're letting me know that you prefer it in this manner. I'll have to adjust how I was thinking about the lesson plan in this way." Or whatever you may need to say to give feedback that you're not just a lump on a log. Communication is something that is so hard to do in the workplace and it's what we need to do the most. We suffer from this in our own company, so it's not a case of just your work situation.
Then, you may also need to find someone in the school that can help you out and mentor you through some of these growing pains. A lot of positions do expect you to sink or swim -- my second job out of college including my boss telling me this on my first day of work!!!!!!! -- and part of figuring out what to do is asking the people around you for help.
If you want to write, I suggest you start doing that now and then as your get more writing assignments, you can figure out if you can give up your education career and work on the writing one and still pay your bills.
Writing may be something you like to do as a hobby, maybe not as a job. A job is a job, after all!
I don't know if any of this advice helps. But you're doing fine thinking of this stuff at 24. It's when you can still figure out what you want or like to do without worrying about whether or not you can pay your mortgage or if it will affect your kids negatively.
I hope you don't mind me jumping in here. You don't know me, and I hardly post anymore - mainly because I've jumped hoops through so many diets, it's embarrassing to keep posting. But I digress.
I've found certain posters whose threads I like through the years, and you are one of them. So, yeah, I lurk a lot. And learn a lot. Let me try and be brief. You come across as being extremely intelligent, intuitive and beyond your years. I say move on. I worked for 25 years in a job that did not appreciate my worth. And I had a lot to offer. I got a great pension, but in retrospect, I repressed many parts of myself that could have thrived and grown more fully in another environment. My feeling is, if you are being treated this way now, in a new job that your superiors must have common sense enough to know that you have to grow into, that is not a good sign at all.
I say move on. You are smart, obviously skilled and can segue into a better position. Just my 2 cents. Don't let yourself suffer for too long. Life is just too damn short.
P.S. Regarding writing - I've often thought "this gal should write a book." Honestly. You have a gift with words.
I'd suggest trying a different state and district before a different career. That can make all the difference in the world in how you feel about your job.
A common interviewing technique that I use with prospective job candidates is asking them this question: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" and it never ceases to amaze me how many people can't come up with a solid and coherent answer... Now my point here is that there is no "right" or "wrong" answer to this question... What I'm looking for here is that the person has clearly defined goals and a plan to achieve them.... and most importantly, is able to present them is a clear, concise, and articulate manner...
Being "happy" and "satisfied" in our careers are rather elusive goals... and while I'm not saying that they're not important, I find that their subjective nature can become a hinderance to people setting very real, concrete and objective goals...
I think the first couple of years in a career can be very stressful.
My first year as an L&D nurse out of school was just horrific. I was constantly stressed out but I made it through and started to enjoy it and be comfortable.
Then I went to grad school. My first year as a midwife was just horrific. I would have anxiety attacks before going to clinic. I was terrified I was going to mess up. But I made it through and started to enjoy it and be comfortable.
There is a nursing theorist who writes on the concept 'from novice to expert.' It's a challenge to traverse that road, especially when so much is riding on your ability to do something right and bad things can happen if you do something wrong.
I'd say to give it time. It will get better. I like your plan of 'a week at a time'. If possible, find a mentor at the school.
As for writing, as a freelancer you eat what you kill, and that brings its own stressors....
I'm 28 and I'm still not solid in a career I've had the same job for 2 years and should be getting a promotion soon but it never feels like I know what I'm doing! I think that's pretty typical for a few years for all of us. We all put a lot of pressure on ourselves at a very young age to "decide what to do with our lives" and I think that's not helpful when we actually get to do it, because we second guess ourselves when it's challenging in ways we didn't expect.
My suggestion is to stick it out, at least for now. You can always switch districts, and that can make a huge difference. It's hard in the beginning of your career (in any discipline) to find a right fit sometimes. But as the year goes on it will likely get better; this is all very new and a lot to get used to. It would throw anyone for a loop.
Speaking as an English major who wanted to make it as a writer/journalist- it's pretty rough out there, especially now. Do some writing activities on your own when things start to calm down and you're not working long days; write a blog, see if you can pick up some volunteer work- maybe writing a newsletter, column for a nonprofit, etc. Take a writing class or workshop, meet like-minded people... that'll maybe give you an outlet for your passion for writing and give you more of a sense on whether you'd like to do it full time eventually (and give you something to put on your resume if you do pursue it).
As for dealing with criticism... if they think you are 'shutting down' maybe you can organize a meeting to talk about how you'd like to improve and what steps you'd like to do that, and ask for advice on how to handle whatever situations arise, etc. I think that most bosses like it when you take initiative and ask them for suggestions and feedback. It sounds like it's been informal thus far- aka walking into your class and making random comments- so maybe having a short session where you have a goal in mind and aren't distracted by other things would be helpful.
Hello everyone. Thank you so much for the advice. I'm on my phone right now and want you all to know that I've been reading your replies. When I'm on a proper computer I really want to take the time to reply to everyone individually.
I'm feeling very calm right now; I took a yoga class this morning and it seems to have alleviated so much of my stress. I might have to invest in adding that to my exercise routine
I hope that you'll consider staying as a special ed teacher. It seems to me that you truly care about the kids, and having a special ed child, I can really tell the difference between teachers that do and do not care.
Aside from that, if I read your post correctly you haven't been at the new school all that long. I really think some of the feelings you have are natural in a new job. It takes a few months at least to start to settle in somewhere.
I try to use those challenging situations and people to further my skills in dealing with them. Every career choice is going to have those types of situations and politics, unless you're working on your own. There's always going to be those people that treat you as an inferior.
There's no reason you can't engage in your writing interests now though.
In reading over my post, I feel I may have been too hasty in telling you to move on; I was projecting too much of my past experience into your post. I knew after six months that the position was just not for me...but after those six months I stayed far too long at the fair. Mainly because the job was 5 minutes from home with a great salary. But it was a trade-off for personal growth.
Give it some time - a few months to ease in and see if things change. But if they do not, you'll know what you have to do. Like I said before, life is too damn short for prolonged suffering. You are still young enough to make many changes in your life.
I taught at one point in NYC and have worked with many teachers. Many teachers are very unhappy for the very reason you mention. I agree with those who say take up writing as something on the side at first. Here is what I would consider:
- Middle school is really challenging in terms of students and they tend to be an admin mess more than elementary and hs. I don't know why.
- Is there a way to work in a school where you would have your own classroom? It is very hard to share a classroom with a teacher esp. on set in their ways.
- It sounds like you really enjoy working with students without the extra crap. The happiest people I know in education are school psychologists, occupational therapists and guidance counselors.
Switching Careers?
the publisher was a nightmare to work with and that's speaking kindly lol....i worked FAR too many hours with limited resources and staff and was expected to compete with a daily newspaper, which will NEVER happen for a weekly
I've had the same job for 2 years and should be getting a promotion soon but it never feels like I know what I'm doing! I think that's pretty typical for a few years for all of us. We all put a lot of pressure on ourselves at a very young age to "decide what to do with our lives" and I think that's not helpful when we actually get to do it, because we second guess ourselves when it's challenging in ways we didn't expect. 
