I don't recall anyone calling you a spoiled brat, but you did make reference to one of my quotes "What are you willing to sacrifice?"

I think somewhere inside you there is that "am I a spoiled brat?" question because perhaps YOU feel that you should be more self sufficient and that living with your parents & doing things like going to church to appease your father is worrisome to your soul (spirit, heart, etc.)

It's HARD to get out & live on your own - even with roommates, etc. It's NOT just about the money. It's about learning how to juggle your car payment with the electric bill and deciding against a new pair of shoes so that you can be sure to have a "good balanced diet" when you go grocery shopping. Those kinds of decisions are difficult to make, and when you are dependent on someone else for the major things in life (roof over your head, food in your belly) then it's easy to get complacent and hey, "why should I be in a rush to leave?"

It's different for everyone. And for the record, if you got the "spoiled brat" from my posts, please know that I don't think that about you. I think you're incredibly lucky - my parents couldn't afford to pay for my college or my car or my insurance, etc. I did get help from them along the way. But I also stumbled, scraped my knees a good bit, got back up & continued forward before stumbling again. I left home at 22 - went clear across the country with my fiance, STILL couldn't support myself, and COULDN'T afford to go back home! When I did finally get back home, I lived with my mother again, & soon after got married. Two years later, I found myself divorced and broke. I moved in with a guy friend who became my boyfriend & became abusive. After losing my job and deciding I didn't want to be dependent in an abusive relationship, I FINALLY "went back home to mama."

That hurt my soul. All I could think was "way to go, loser! can't even survive on your own! had to go crawling back to mama!!" I was 26 yearsw old & at the lowest point in my life. Clinically depressed. Considered suicide at one point. GOT HELP. (there's nothing wrong with getting HELP! - no matter WHERE it comes from!!)

A few months passed & I was able to start functioning like a human being again. I got a part time waitress job. I kept looking for full time work. Finally got a full time job. I kept my part time job, too. I used money from the waitress job to make my car payment & insurance, and give my mom some money for food and pay the phone & water bill (that was per our agreement). I socked away every penny from my full time job.

When I moved back in w/my mom, we agreed "six months". It turned into two years. When I finally had saved up about $3000, I got my own apt. My own furniture! My own washer & dryer! I even lucked out with a cheap TV. And I KEPT MY PART TIME JOB for another two years! Because it made paying the bills a little bit easier, plus gave me some money to actually have a social life.

So you see? It wasn't easy for me. Would I have done all that had I been in your situation? If my parents could have afforded all the little luxuries I so desired? Probably not. I'd have probably stayed at home & just ... well, stayed at home. Until I felt good & ready to go. Who knows when that may have been?

But I grew up in a different time than you. I grew up in the time of "when I'm 18, I'm outta here!" - because being self-sufficient & living on your own was a sign that you'd "finally made it." It was sort of "taboo" to live with your parents after a certain age. Things ARE different today. Better? Worse? Whatever - just "different."

I'm not saying you aren't doing the best you can. I'm not saying you're "doing it wrong" - what I'm saying is that you ALWAYS. HAVE. CHOICES. Sometimes you have to sacrifice some things in order to realize certain dreams. It's not a bad thing. It's not an easy thing, either. And it's certainly not a "one-size-fits-all" thing.

I understand - you're young - you've got a lot to learn. This is all part of the growing up process. It is apparently easier for you to stay put & go to church to make your dad happy. Coincidentally, there's nothing wrong with making your dad happy, even if you don't believe the way he believes. And hey, if it's OK w/your parents for you to stay there until you're better equipped to handle life on your own, then yay for you! There is NOTHING WRONG with "having it easy". But remember: it's a trade off. Most everything in life is.

I'm glad to hear the church issue has been resolved.
I don't want to get much into the other issues that have been brought up in this thread, but I will say that I think some of what has been said about you because of your situation is very unfair.
Best of luck.

Growing up sucks sometimes, no matter your approach. 50 different people will be telling you 50 different things and watching you to see if you sink or swim.

Having kids is the same - everyone's an expert.

And losing weight.

HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh yes!!!!

I wish there was a "like" button sometimes, lol. I love you guys!

Hey, I'm a college professor and just want to echo the advice you've received about moving beyond your "field". For most of us, our college major is simply an area of study we've had extra courses and training -- it isn't even HALF of the credits you earned in college!!

What we professors hope our students learn in addition to the content of a major are communication and critical thinking skills that you can apply to the world beyond college. If you look at the skills you have broadly like this, then you can see how you can be qualified for many entry level jobs!

I would recommend you talk to people at your college/university's career development center if you still live nearby. It is generally free for alums and can be very helpful at getting you to consider job/career possibilities you might not have considered before!!!

So right. Times are tough in our town but I never could abide by living in another person's home including my parents. We lived with my Father in law because my husband was going into the navy. When that didn't work out, I got our butts out if there as quickly as possible. So, I work at Walmart for 7.65 and support us completely without help including cell phones, but no car. I walk 2.5 miles to work everyday, and my husband has been looking for .a job for almost six months. He finally found one and just started out, so we'll be able to afford.a car soon, but add John said, even in dire circumstances it can be done. I'd rather be poor than beholden to the whims of anyone else.