You seem extremely reluctant to follow any advice on here that doesn't match what you WANT TO DO ANYWAY. It's called being young, and as per many of your previous posts, you have relationship issues that are concerning. Sorry to be harsh, but maybe you should take some time to be alone and really sort things out.
I'm sorry I do that. I will admit; I'm a bit on the stubborn side of life and I don't mean to knock everything y'all say but I'm like, taking what y'all say and smushing it in with my thoughts and some of what I reply on here is me "thinking out loud" to y'all, lol.
It's really one of those... y'all are right and I probably should stay away from him, but the curiosity is also killing me. And then there's he really did impress me last night, which makes me wanna give it a shot. And I think, from what y'all have suggested, I've come to the conclusion of go on the date, but keep my guard up.
I say run, do not walk to the nearest exit. If this is true that means he is weird and as John says has a fetish. For your sanity's sake do not get involved with weird people.
The other thing I was concerned about is his encounter with this other girl,did he say he had sex with her ? Call me old fashioned but I prefer not to have any sexual experiences I may have to be discussed to others.
I say run, do not walk to the nearest exit. If this is true that means he is weird and as John says has a fetish. For your sanity's sake do not get involved with weird people.
The other thing I was concerned about is his encounter with this other girl,did he say he had sex with her ? Call me old fashioned but I prefer not to have any sexual experiences I may have to be discussed to others.
She said she had an awkward one night stand with him; he said they went out a few times and I don't recall him saying anything about having sex with her. He wasn't being creepy or weird or anything towards me, and if sex got brought up it was in jokes amongst the group of people we were hanging around. But ya know, people can be fine when you first meet them as a first impression kinda thing, so there's no telling what he's like once you actually get to know him, which is why I am still a bit weary of him.
I agree with ChickieChicks...seems like it was just last week you were in love with someone else. Maybe you should concentrate on YOU for once and not guys or sex. Not being judgemental or trying to be mean, just my honest opinion for whatever it's worth. Good luck
So I went... and he wasn't weird or creepy at all. We went out for pizza; we both got small, single servings and he didn't judge me on what I ate or anything at all. The issue didn't even come up... so I think I'm gonna test the waters some more. He seems like a really decent guy so far. Just thought I'd update y'all!
I dated a guy who admitted to being a "chubby chaser," not a feeder exactly, but he definitely made it clear to me that I was much smaller than his normal preference and that if we weren't so compatible with our personalities and interests, he probably wouldn't have been at all attracted to my figure. He tried to hint at the fact that I should gain some, but I was already uncomfortable with myself and wasn't about to make myself more unhealthy to please a guy. Eventually he decided that the best option was to cheat on me with one of my larger friends while I was studying abroad (he told the poor girl that we'd broken up and that I never wanted to hear his name again so that she wouldn't contact me about it...When she mentioned something after the fact because she was hoping to smooth down the 'breakup' so that we could all hang out, she was completely mortified to find out that that wasn't actually the case.)
Moral of the story, guys have their preferences, and if you're not what they want and they can't convince you to become what they want, they go elsewhere. I think that unless you have an absolutely ironclad will, you're only putting yourself in a situation that will probably be detrimental to your goals. If you do have the willpower to say no and continue to see the guy, you may very well be setting yourself up for heartbreak down the line. Given how attached you were within a short period of time with your last guy, I'd just walk away now.
Moral of the story, guys have their preferences, and if you're not what they want and they can't convince you to become what they want, they go elsewhere. I think that unless you have an absolutely ironclad will, you're only putting yourself in a situation that will probably be detrimental to your goals. If you do have the willpower to say no and continue to see the guy, you may very well be setting yourself up for heartbreak down the line. Given how attached you were within a short period of time with your last guy, I'd just walk away now.
I do agree with John on the possibility for great future anecdotes in this situation! Never underestimate the importance of great anecdotes.
That said, I have noticed that our Lauren imagines herself in love very, very quickly. You might want to be extra careful to not overinflate your feelings until you're sure he's not going to be a bad influence. (And really, take that as lifelong dating advice: be slow, not quick, to imagine yourself in love.)
I do agree with John on the possibility for great future anecdotes in this situation! Never underestimate the importance of great anecdotes.
That said, I have noticed that our Lauren imagines herself in love very, very quickly. You might want to be extra careful to not overinflate your feelings until you're sure he's not going to be a bad influence. (And really, take that as lifelong dating advice: be slow, not quick, to imagine yourself in love.)
I think why I fell so hard for this past ex was because he was the guy I felt like I couldn't have before I lost weight. Had I met him 6 months earlier, I wouldn't have even bothered to talk to him because I would've felt he was out of my league. In fact, while we dated, I still kind of felt like he was out of my league, but it boosted my confidence that I could actually get someone that good looking, and he was really fun and energetic and sweet. He was the kind of guy that I felt like was perfect for me and that I needed and I could actually see myself being with him for a long time.
The more I think about this current guy... I don't really care if we get into a relationship or not. I mean, he's fun and all, but that's really all I'm seeing in him; someone fun to hang out with. I guess it could progress into something more and I'd be fine with it, but I'd be fine with us just staying friends too.
he could be one of those pretend nice guys - sounds fascinating!!! I'd try it out and tell us any good details LOL
maybe eat slowly in front of him and see how he looks at you
Good luck
