I did the same thing and you know what my fiancé responded when I fessed up "Oh yeah, my last gf of 3 years had it so I probably have it already". I told my bf before that I had it too and he was so nice, he responded, "well who knows who gave it to whom, maybe i gave it to you, whatever". I had a gf who legitimately was dumped when she told her bf she had hpv so I was scared out of my mind in both cases.
Looking back, I should have waited longer to have sex with my fiancé and told him from the start. He's not the kind of jerk who would run away from something like that.
Please consider that in many states having sex with someone and not disclosing the fact that you have an STD is criminal as you are jeopardizing someone else's health. In the future, you should protect yourself legally by disclosing your condition. In my state, it's a misdemeanor to not disclose this information for any STD other than HIV/AIDS in which case it's a felony, pretty serious stuff. It's your legal responsibility to inform would-be sexual partners.
Also, BOO! on your doc. Sure this is pretty common for the gynecological professional but not for the person who was not informed so they could protect themselves. It's not like the common cold, it's an STD that they will have to live with and seek treatment for, it causes physical and emotional pain and monetary loss for medical treatments, much unlike a common cold. Glossing over it like is not a medically responsible action for anyone.
I hope you learned the lesson on disclosure to your partners. In the future, please be upfront, it may not be a dealbreaker but people deserve to know the risk they are taking. There was a lot of deniability in your post but you knew you had HPV and what it was. I am glad he was understanding. Please consider your partner's health in the future. It was saddening to see your concern for what he would think of you instead of concern about his health.
I'm just going by what my doctor told me; my colposcopy just showed abnormal cell changes, but they weren't cancerous, so he told me and I assumed that that meant I was in the clear as far as that was concerned.
When you got your pap did you also get tested for other STIs? What you can do is go to the doctor (if you're still having an outbreak), and they will swab to test. I had a scare a while back where my OB told me that she was "99% sure" that I had HSV due to a small bump I developed on my very upper leg close to the crease of my behind. She even prescribed me acyclovir right then. When my blood test results came back, she was wrong. I was in the clear for that as well as any other regularly tested STIs.
For your own peace of mind, you may want to go get retested.
Oh yeah, I make it a point to get tested for other STDs every time I have a pap. And in fact, the doctor I went to today still told me the same thing -- that it wasn't serious and that my boyfriend would be fine. Just about everyone I've talked to has said that it's really not that serious and that I don't have anything to worry about.
I've taken this as I don't need to keep things from my boyfriend, period. And it wasn't that I cared what he thought of me, it pained me that I could hurt him, which is something I never wanted to do. Some of you act like I don't care about him, and it's quite the opposite -- I care quite deeply for him in all aspects. I just didn't want to hurt him. Everything's okay now though, so I'm not gonna worry about it anymore unless I have to. Why fret and act like I'm living a death sentence when I'm not?
It's not a death sentence but it's highly irresponsible and actually illegal in many states to knowingly not disclose this information to a partner. It doesn't show concern for your partner to take that risk with their body unbeknownst to them. That was deceptive and while it seems to have worked out for you this time, that behavior has the possibility of bringing you legal problems and civil law suits in the future should the person not be so understanding.
There's absolutely no shame in having HPV, but it's very bad to not tell someone until after you have had unprotected sex. Besides, wouldn't you have wanted to know before you contracted it so you had a choice? He should have gotten a choice.
You're right, I should've told him sooner. I still regret that, and I still feel like an idiot about being ignorant about my own condition. If I had understood it better, and maybe if my doctor had explained it to me better, then I wouldn't have been in this predicament and probably would've told my boyfriend sooner.
Honestly, even though I know everything is okay now, I still feel horrible about it and I still feel like an ***hole. I know better now, and really, until this has to come up again, I'd really like to just put it in the back of my mind and know never to do that again; otherwise I'm going to make myself miserable thinking about it.
I am glad that you realize the gravity of the situation AND that things are working out for you two(although my posts sound stern). Now you know, you just need to be upfront about it and if the guy really cares, it will be ok. Plus, it will also save you from all of this anxiety. And please, make sure he gets checked out, especially since he's been cheated on and you guys might occasionally have unprotected sex, to further protect yourselves.
I wish you good luck with everything. Now you can really enjoy your new relationship without this issue clouding your mind.