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Old 06-30-2012, 05:17 PM   #1  
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Default Never Felt So Stupid In My Life.

My friend's, friend (we will call her Betty) needed someone to work her horse for her because she does not have the time for him right now. My friend volunteered me as I have been looking to get back into riding but haven't had the funds to do so. This opportunity is an amazing one and I jumped at the chance. I used to have my own horse, it was several years back though. Sadly I had to sell her due to financial/personal reasons and I have missed it every day. I am a fairly good rider, but I am out of practice and have not been on a horse for a long time.

I went to ride this horse for the first time. I have a very bad anxiety disorder and am easily made uncomfortable around strangers. While I was riding everyone started watching me and scrutinizing me. You know that feeling like all eyes are on you and they are picking apart every single thing you do, that is what I felt. One lady started barking orders at me whenever I would attempt to do anything with the horse. I know she was not trying to be mean but she was talking to my like a infant. While I was riding I could hear her telling the horses owner that I was not "qualified" to ride her horse etc. I was admit I was way more awkward then I hoped I would be but its been so long since I was on a horse. I wanted so badly to explain that I was just not used to it, to give me time but decided to keep my mouth shut. I accepted defeat, cooled the horse down and got off.

Betty(friends friend) seem rather disappointed in me like she was expecting much more then I offered. She did not say it out loud but a tone in her voice told me she was not impressed. I was not impressed with my performance either however.... Now, I am anxious to go ride him and show my face at the stable. I feel like a failure, a complete idiot. I KNOW I can do it if they would just give me a couple rides to reacquaint myself with riding. I just feel defeated like I completely blew it. I was hoping to ride this weekend or go down and just groom the horse (so we start a relationship). When I asked she said sure but seemed a little uncomfortable. I was so comfortable on a horses, like it was second nature. I am pretty good at riding but now I feel so unsure of myself.

I don't know what to do at this point. Any idea's? I know its a weird topic/question but I would really like some thoughts. Good or bad.
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Old 06-30-2012, 05:40 PM   #2  
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She said sure.

Roll with it and ride. Your plan is sane. So get comfy. See where you at then after building rship with horse.

And build rship with her -- tell her you felt weird in new environment, would like X more rides to see if this will be a runner or not, but if the chemistry is not right for you, horse, or her, you will bow out with grace, no harm no foul. Would that be ok plan with her?

And let go of these unproductive emotions. Let them blow on through you. We feel whatever when we feel it. It's how we CHOOSE to act in response that matters, and your plan sounds sensible.

So roll with it. Emotion is just weather -- it moves along. You can choose to let it blow on thru and just roll with it or you can choose to get all tempest teapotty over it and prolong the internal stormy weather.

And remember rain brings the rainbows. So it's not like ALL rain is horrible. It's just... rain. Look up at the sun coming out or look down at the mud -- that's all up to YOU.

Rain's just rain.

GL!
A.

Last edited by astrophe; 06-30-2012 at 05:44 PM.
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Old 06-30-2012, 05:40 PM   #3  
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It sounds like you had a rough afternoon, but honestly, no biggie. Just go back and tell them it's been a while but you'd love to exercise the horse, you just need to get a couple of rides under your belt and you'll be all set! Be positive, friendly, and yourself, and I don't see how anyone won't be able to understand that.

There's no need to stress out this much about things that can go more smoothly. We all have things we haven't done in a while, and most of us are rusty when giving it a first go, but if you love horses and you're a skilled rider then you'll be just fine.

And before you go, perhaps pep yourself up? It sounds like you're taking this really hard, and I get the sense you need a confidence pick me up. I have no doubt you are all kinds of awesome -- you need to find a way to believe that.
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Old 06-30-2012, 05:44 PM   #4  
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I would explain it to her. I ride as well and we all have good days and bad days. You haven't ridden in a while, so of course you would be rusty. Maybe also make the offer to take a couple of lessons every month to make sure you aren't picking up any bad habits or teaching the horse any bad habits (not saying that you would intentionally do it, but it is easy to when you don't have someone on the ground watching you).
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Old 07-01-2012, 12:27 PM   #5  
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It takes a few rides before you get in the groove! I started riding again three years ago after a LONG break, and it took me a bit to get that confidence back.

And if you haven't been in the horse world in a while, maybe you've forgotten how horse people can judge! I work with a woman who would go into "instructor" mode as soon as anyone got on a horse. Because, of course, nobody was as good a rider/horsewoman as she was. I could be a Grand Prix rider (I'm not) but she'd feel like she had to give a lesson.

So, just go out there and enjoy it! Remember to breathe....
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Old 07-01-2012, 03:25 PM   #6  
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Default re:

As everyone says here, it takes awhile to get comfortable again when you haven't been riding - especially on a strange horse. You were probably pretty strange to the horse too!

If Betty the owner still wants you to ride, do it! All you can do is explain you've been out of it for awhile and just need a bit to get comfortable again.

You're doing this for FREE right? You make the time to get there and ride her horse. She is probably appreciative of that and if not, she should be.
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Old 07-01-2012, 06:21 PM   #7  
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I also want to mention something about the other woman who sounded like an instructor gone wrong. If you know how to ride a horse, and are fully capable of doing so without being instructed, I wonder if it would be appropriate to respectfully tell her to back off. I don't know what the dynamics are between the two women, and if you could do so without jeopardizing the opportunity to ride or your friend's relationship with Betty, but if at all possible, perhaps it could help.

Anyhow, you know your own ability and judgment better than anyone else. If you believe you can ride this horse, then go for it! Express yourself clearly, speak confidently, and take a chance in yourself. Practice doing this if you need to. Most people are willing to believe whatever you tell/show them of yourself -- if you put up a positive and confident front, they will respond in turn with confidence in you. Like I said before, I'm sure you are all kinds of awesome, so go ahead and put it out there!!
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