[EZMONEY]

Oops...I forgot to add this...

my ex-wife was an office amnager for a car dealer, she bought our son his first car, a trade in, an old Nissan Sentra, but in good shape. He had that car until he graduated college when he bought a newer car with $$$ he had earned working at the sporting goods store and coaching at the high school.

My daughter was given a 1981 Nissan Maxima...in 1999! The one we brought her older brother home from the hospital, after his birth!

My ex-wife paid both of their car insurance (until my son got mouthy with me once then he was required to pay his own...a very good lesson learned...wink) as I paid their health insurance.

They NEVER EVER got a $penny$ for gas...that was thier job...(although we did pay for oil changes and tune-ups/tires until they got out of college)

[Justwant2Bhealthy]

GARY ~ I bought my own baseball glove too (a Willie Mays) and my mom drove me to the city to a sporting goods store to buy it (cost me $20.00); I loved that glove -- so did someone else, and they stole it ...

Anyhow, I also worked for $1.00 an hour and babysat for .50 cents an hour; worked in a nursing home at 12-13; then my parent's store throughout my teens. I put money away for my college; boy, sure glad I did that. I also bought my first home at 20 years old -- not many single girls do that eh?

Sounds like our families had a lot of the same beliefs and rules. Like you say, the kid has to want to do it; they can fight you hard. Some out grow it and turn out just fine.

[EagleRiverDee]

Thanks for sharing your stories everyone. We're still working on this. Part of my issue is that this is an alien thing to me. I went to work at 16 years old and have never not worked since. My parents instilled in me a work ethic by requiring me to do chores to earn my allowance, and then later when I had a job if I called in sick for any reason they would roust me out of bed and make me work for free for them because they knew I really wasn't sick. To this day my attendance at work is stellar because of that. I will miss work if I'm truly very ill, but don't skip just for being tired or having a little cold or something. My parents made me pay my own fuel and repairs for my car, and if I wanted something I had to buy it.

So this thing with my step-son being so lazy just baffles me and I have to chalk it up to the fact that all his life he has had only to ask his Dad for money for whatever and it is given. And while we're not poor, we're also not well-to-do. We live pretty much paycheck to paycheck. I have been telling my DH for some time that I think the necessary thing to do is cut off the money. If my step-son has no money to drive his precious car (bought and funded by Daddy) then maybe he'll get some incentive to work. I have been discussing this with my DH, and it has been brought up to my step-son that either he gets a job that pays or he can expect to do chores for us. The problem with that is I know from past experience that it will not last. My DH simply will not ride herd on his kids, and it's "easier" for him to just shell out the money than to be "mean daddy" and make them work for it. I think some of this stems from the fact that he has a serious guilt complex about the divorce between him and the children's mom and I think he tries to make up for it by being "nice daddy" but I don't think he's done either boy any favors. The chore thing - if it were enforced- would help instill some responsibility and work ethic in my step-son but wouldn't give him any work history to help with future job applications and in all honesty I just don't believe that his Dad will enforce the chores. This has been an ongoing battle in the house for years. I have tried for years to get the kids to just have a small chore list, like that they do the dishes every day and clean their rooms once a week. It would happen for a week or two and then die off.