Stop talking to yourself like this:
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And at the rate I'm going, I don't feel like I'll ever be "ready" for a healthy dating life because I suck at it so much. At this point all I feel like is a worthless vagina.
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Start talking to yourself with a little more respect.
Get a check up if you are truly depressed. See a doc.
Get out and make new friends -- volunteer, take a ceramics class -- whatever it is you like to do.
Masturbate to take the edge off -- stop dealing in FWB if what you are after is a more serious relationship. FWB stuff just seems to sink you further into moody. You don't need more moody makin' stuff in your life.
I'm worried about you.
A.