LovelyAndLosing, thank you very much. I know EXACTLY that feeling when someone dismisses your fears and feelings and concerns, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with that too. It's frustrating, and it hurts. And while I hate phrasing it this way, because I wish you weren't dealing with endometriosis and the risks to your fertility... but I'm so glad to hear that you have doctors who have recognized your symptoms and understand the risks. It certainly doesn't make dealing with it any easier, but I really hope that the diagnosis came early enough to stave off even more serious damage so that your chances of conceiving are higher.
Porthardygurl, thank you for the hopeful stories. I am definitely willing to keep trying as long as we can manage the meds financially, and I am still hopeful that given enough attempts it will eventually work. Unfortunately though trying naturally isn't an option for us; it was made quite clear that it would be a dangerous route. So there won't be any happy surprise pregnancies for us, but I'll gladly take a had-to-try-really-hard-to-get-it pregnancy at some point.
WebWoman: Thank you too for letting me know that the IVF worked for your sister after multiple attempts. I get worried that because we didn't get implantation even after transferring a perfect embryo twice that it means I might never get implantation... but I just need it to stick ONE time, that's all, and that can still happen.
samcakes: I'm so sorry that you have been struggling to get pregnant as well. I know how hard it is to want it so badly while watching everyone around you having children, and I really feel for you and hope so much that the IUI will be successful. I couldn't imagine affording the IVF before either, but depending on the fertility center there may be options for assistance (I think something like 60% of the women at my center get some sort of financial assistance), and depending on the state in which you live/work there may even be some insurance coverage. There wasn't for us, but thankfully my center has a great plan - we can do up to 6 fresh cycles of IVF and as many frozen cycles as we have embryos for one price, and if it doesn't work or if we quit the program before going through all 6 fresh cycles then the entire amount is refunded. It doesn't include the cost of the medications, which are considerable on their own for fresh cycles (much cheaper for frozen cycles), but just having that many chances has given me greater peace of mind where the money is concerned. There aren't any of the 'if it doesn't work this time, can we even afford to do it again?" worries. And from what I understand, more and more fertility centers are offering similar plans. Anyway, I really hope the IUI works beautifully for you and you'll never have to consider going the IVF route, but if you do end up facing it please know that it may be more feasible financially than you'd think - that you may still have options, and still have reason to be hopeful.
runningfromfat, I am so very sorry to hear about your miscarriage, and I wish very much that you didn't have those struggles and issues of your own.
Over the past several months I've often thought that it must be very difficult too to have fertility-related issues when you already have one child and want/wanted another but are/were unable to for whatever reason... and I'm sure there are well-intentioned but equally frustrating and hurtful comments and questions in that situation too. Having one child already doesn't make it any less difficult or painful when you want more. And I do try to keep in mind that my friends and family care and have good intentions; I know they love me, and I can't expect them to know how to related. I wouldn't know how to relate either, and I'm sure I've said some incredibly insensitive things in the past without even knowing it. Thank you very much for the good wishes, and I wish you the best as well.
Elladorine, reading your post broke my heart. I try not to think about it, because it reduces me to tears every single time, but I remember so clearly that excitement of getting the positive pregnancy test back in June after wanting it for so many years. I know that overwhelming joy, and the despair that comes with losing the pregnancy (they thought I was miscarrying at first, and did a D&C... the first of many missteps by the medical professionals over the course of those three weeks). And my joy and excitement only lasted a few days, it didn't have the time to build and compound the way that yours did... it hurts my heart to imagine the devastation you must have felt with the miscarriage, and all the pain you've been feeling since that time watching your sister-in-law's pregnancy and baby plans progress. It would kill me. Of course you're happy for her... but it's just.so.hard. I hope, really hope, that as horrible as this experience has been for you that it does something good and positive for you in another way... after my surgery in June and all the bad news that came with it, my resolve to keep losing weight and getting healthier became stronger. It was something I could control, when it felt like everything else around me was out of my control. Having something else to focus on and being able to achieve those health and weight goals HAS made me feel stronger and better, and I hope that's the case for you too. And I really, really hope that someday soon you'll have the baby you want too. I will be thinking good thoughts for you.
MadeleinesMom:
I really thought it would work for us the first time too. All the signs were so positive, I had great numbers, a great lining, a perfect embryo... and it was so devastating when it didn't work. And I worried too with the last frozen cycle about the thaw, and now I worry about what might happen this cycle, what if it has to be cancelled if the embryos don't make it or my lining doesn't develop well... I know those emotions, and how intense they are, how hard all of it is. It gives me a lot of hope that you were still able to get pregnant though with just the one; I am so hoping that transferring two this time will give us a better chance than in the last two rounds. I'm really sorry that your try for a second didn't work for you. And I'm just speechless at what your mother said to you. WOW. Talk about not getting it. Thank you very much for the understanding and the good thoughts... when I get upset I'm going to try to focus on the thought that this may all just be a distant memory one day.
threenorns: Thank you very much for the good vibes, and I hope I didn't say something to offend.
