As a 30 year old who spend 8 years in the military, he should be eligible for the Post 9/11 GI Bill assuming honorable discharge. This will pay for tuition and fees and provides a housing and book stipend.
If he does not have a HS diploma or GED he may have to obtain it prior but for most this is not difficult. Then he can opt to go down a vocational or more academic-four year route. With the housing stipend coming in, he may feel like he is contributing more and is self improving at the same time. This will also give him some disposable income of his own so he doesn't feel like he's asking for an allowance.
I believe there is a 15 year window to use the GI after leaving the military so do not let it go to waste! This isn't for everyone, heck, he may HATE the idea, but it will give him an option to do something he is good at and/or enjoys.
I'll stay mum on all the other issues as I think it's been covered. Good luck and I hope everything works out for the best.
My family (mother, father, 2 brothers) used to operate the same way- whoever gets there first "wins". They ate all the food without regard for each other. It was ugly. I started hiding food, closet eating, and over-eating just to get some. It made me develop seriously unhealthy ideas and practices with food. I hope you can find a positive way to resolve this so that same doesn't happen to you.
Whew! Long thread.
As far as his drinking the juice, well my DH, been married for 30+ years would do something like that and not even think about it. It's a man thing, they have a totally different mentality than women. Mine has the focus of a gnat.
I have to disagree with this. It isn't a "man vs woman" thing, but rather a "respect vs lack thereof" thing. One could argue that it is just him not thinking before he acts, but respect comes before thinking. He doesn't see that juice as being something that she bought for her own well-being. He sees it as "fair game" and that is, imho, pretty selfish.
You know, he probably just sees it as fruit juice sitting in the fridge. If he wasn't told beforehand that it's just for her, then it would be natural to expect it to be communal.
My DH is actually great about this sort of thing but we did run into an issue years ago when we first started living together.
I had just given birth and I was doing slimfasts for breakfast. Well, DH doesn't need to lose any weight but he would drink my slimfasts probably because they were sweet.
Well, there was 1 slimfast left one morning and who took it? Him! And I had JUST given birth, I was tired from being up ALL NIGHT breastfeeding the baby, and he took my flippin breakfast because he had a sweet tooth!!
I lost it. One of the biggest fights we've ever had.. over something so simple.
Needless to say, after that.. everything has been peachy since lol There is definitely a learning curve in all relationships!
dcapulet, same here... I grew up with 3 older brothers and a seriously overeating dad. My mom says he would actually hide food from us all the time and eat in the middle of the night. You can imagine what that was like competing with them. I was actually in good shape until my 20's amazingly until I took the Depo Provera shot, what a nightmare. Either way, it really does make you get into that survival overeating mode when you live with people like that. I find myself doing that with my husband because he is such a pig and eats like a whole pie or whole thing of ice cream, so I eat it just to get some. It's dumb, and come to think of it, I am going to try not to do that anymore. There's always more at the store and I can always make him go to the store for it, LOL!
It sounds like he may be a bit depressed. Having a woman provide for a man makes most men feel inept or worthless, and have some sort of resentment towards the woman. It sounds like he needs something. Even if it's not for the money. What about going back to school or volunteering. Or, like me a stay-at-home-mom, going to the gym. My outlook on life really turned around when I started going to the gym again.
Mine has the focus of a gnat.
