Lots of red flags here. I'm so glad you got out of this when you did. You cannot reason with someone who is clearly not rational. And good that he's quitting his job. What a big baby.
I'm coming into this discussion a bit late, but goodness! He's 52 and can't even answer your emails, let alone be mature and handle the new shift changes at work?
I'm not even gonna ask how he handles the more important things in life.....good riddance to that one!
My boss wants him to stay and actually, I do, too. I know I can be mature and professional to handle it. There's not much side-by-side working anyway. If he's there training when I'm there, we can avoid one another.
There was supposed to be a meeting today, but he was running late and i couldn't delay my next appointment so Idk when we're gonna meet.
He told my boss that he was planning on leaving after we hire new staff to replace him, but my boss indicated she thought he would stay after he cooled down.
But scary thing is, he told my boss that he didn't know if he could handle staying. That he was too pissed not be do his job the best he could because he'd always be grumpy there.
He won't accept any measures of change to correct the problems he currently has. At least he said he wants to quit so he won't sabotage my career any more. At least he indirectly identified that he already has tried to screw me.
Yes, he is a big baby. Yes, he is incredibly immature. But he's a darned good Y employee, demonstrating he is committed to our mission.
After meeting with him and our supervisor, some things became totally clear. He is acting just like a block head man. After talking with several men about how men think, act and the difference between how they think and act, I'm sure about this. He is totally not an abusive man. He is just a regular man.
I thought about this constantly all day. He (in his man way) made it clear he totally loves me. He made it clear that this was in his mind, just a fight and not a break up and when I broke up, it was showing that he was crushed and he never wanted that.
Yet, he could not apologize, saying he was still "too pissed".
I decided to be open to dialog to investigate this further.
I asked him to keep an open mind. So we are going to talk. When he's ready.
I love him. He's the best man I've ever dated in so many ways. He's not perfect, but I'm not either. He told me things today that I never knew and make sense for his behavior. And it's all based in the difference between men and women.
I'm gonna post a Q in the men's section for more input. more to come, I'm sure.
Extending the olive branch brought him straight outta block head man-ness.
Without asking, I got a HUGE apology and admission to all his wrong doings. He admitted he'd gotten out of control and learned a lot about himself.
We still have more to talk about but at least on the work front, things are totally back to normal.
We agreed to slowly investigate being a couple again. We admitted our deep, true love for one another. Many other people have told me they see clearly a couple with too much in common, too perfect for one another to let this fight tear us apart.
Ah, I hope that the original stressful job event that precipitated all of this for you both turns out to have a happy ending--or more accurately, a happy continuation.
Proceeding with caution is always a wise decision, but leaving the door open for reconciliation was even wiser. Love isn't always enough to glue a relationship together, but without it, there's no chance at all, so you're already ahead of the game if you and he have that.
What a turn in emotion! Turns out that making up with this bf is the best thing ever for our relationship. It's as if we zoomed right back to how it was when the gotta-have-you-now spark was still there.
I have heard him apologize umpteen times. We spent the night together doing our usual things with a renewed love, a deeper love and understanding, and a spoken re-committment. We renewed trust and acknowledged wrong doings, apologized again and made a committment to get over it and learn from it and a new focus on the future.
AND on the work-front, I supported him in his volunteer effort that was covered by our local paper. We had a blast with our HS football team challenge that not only highlighted his talents as a trainer, it highlighted his volunteerism and community involvement and mostly, it was free PR for the Y in a very good and desperately needed way.
Lastly, I realized why I love him so much. First, I have never been so proud of the man I was with. Yes, I found pride in other things like success in business and pride in physical stature with my ex and with previous bf. This is different. My core value in a person is good character. I have never been with a man with such good character before. To have it exemplified in a small way that will be made public, and in a way that helps my career in the meantime, just fills my heart with pride, not to mention it more than makes up for when I perceived he was sticking it to me in spite.
