So I've noticed that I am feeling less confident since losing weight. I used to feel okay about the way I looked, even while wanting to lose weight. Now, I feel like I'm all lumpy and shaped wrong. I cringe when my hubby gets roaming hands because I feel self conscious. Why would I feel less sexy and more self conscious in public as well now that I have put a decent dent in the weight loss effort?

Anyone felt that? How did you deal with it?

There was a book several years ago called "Fat is a feminist issue" that proposed that being overweight made women more "substantial", literally taking up more space. This could lead to feeling more powerful. Also, being overweight could act as a protection against unwanted male attention; allowed one to hide so to speak. I have found being middle-aged has the same effect--young people, especially men, look right through you!

I noticed when I was in a more traditional office setting, in a managerial position, being overweight and dressing less feminine did make it easier to deal with other male managers. When I lost weight (unfortuately its back), I got the "wrong" kind of attention from my male colleagues.

So...perhaps now that you are thinner, people are noticing you more, and you are feeling the difference in how you are treated, resulting in unease. Once you get more used to your new body, you will get your confidence back.

Just a theory....

I feel that way all the time. It makes me sad because I know I should be really proud of my progress but I almost feel like the lumpiness and hanging skin is worse than the fat was. I just try and focus on my loss and get clothes that hide it as best as possible. Hope someone has some great advice for you. I keep waiting for the feelings to go away but they still get to me sometimes.

maybe it's because before you weren't looking at what you really looked like and now you are over fixated on it.

I feel the same way from time to time. I think it might be because before I was trying to lose weight, while wanting to be thinner, I was in denial about how big I really was. I just completely ignored the way I looked. Now that I'm making a conscious effort to look better, I notice my imperfections more and get discouraged.

Whenever I get like this, I try to go look at pictures of how I used to look and compare them to pictures of me now. Sometimes I go back and look at some of my old clothes too and just hold them up next to me in the mirror. It helps seeing actual evidence of how far I've come.

Good luck!

I felt that way for a really really long time! I'm coming up on my year anniversary of starting my lifestyle change/weight loss journey at the end of next month.
I'm still dealing with the issue somewhat but its honestly a matter of your brain catching up with your body. For me, I wasnt seeing what I really looked like despite all the hard work so I felt like a failure. Once you start seeing your new body for real, you'll start to love what you see. Once you start loving what you see, then the confidence begins to develop.
Wanna know a few guilty confessions...I kinda love watching myself in the mirror as I workout now because I finally see the (small) but powerful body I worked so hard to achieve. Also, I finally feel like I'm a pretty girl. It feels weird to say that, as I've never said it outloud (or online lol) because I feel it sounds like I'm conceited but its good to feel pretty.

Gaining the confidence is similar to the physical process of losing weight...a waiting game. Keep up your awesome work and be positive because it will happen, I promise!

When I have my clothes on, I feel much more confident than I ever have. But when they come off, way less. For me, it's because someone who was looking at me knew exactly what they were getting when I was fat. There was no hiding it with clothes. Now I have some pretty substantial excess skin issues that I can hide no problem with clothes. Not only is that coming to light when I get naked, excess skin is also IMO just disgusting looking. At least with just the fat rolls, my skin was smooth. With the excess skin it's all wrinkly and just yuck!

I think it's true that I probably didn't pay much attention to how I looked before losing weight to the point of ignoring it. I know I was always surprised about how much larger I looked in pictures than I felt. I also think that it has to do with losing weight evenly or rather unevenly. It appears I have lost from the top down. So before I had a decent size chest to balance things out. Now I have a regular size chest and a large size bottom, with a medium middle. I think I'm in some kind of awkward phase of weight loss. I'll have to keep some of my larger clothes to use for comparisons (I had been donating them).

Manders01- there is the issue with a changed body (due to pregnancy and nursing) than the last time I was at this weight. I'm still guessing that things will change (some for better, some for the worse) even more as I lose even more weight. It's to be seen.

Thanks ladies.