Kaplods, this may very well be one of your BEST posts to date. RIGHT ON!!!! lol!

Thank you, Kaplods; your posts always seem to illuminate things.

Joyful, you made a really good point too--sometimes it is incumbent on the reader (e.g., me and my big stupid opinions ) to see a post for what it is and choose to let it pass without taking offense. We can't control what others write or even how they put things. Heaven knows I've said some abrasive things on this board that I later wish I had put with more tact, so it's not very fair to expect others to maintain a uniformly tactful board demeanor.

I wish I could find better words now to express how much I didn't want to imply that people shouldn't talk freely. I just hope for a sense of context--as Kaplods said, there are a lot of forums here that would be inappropriate for certain posts even though there's nothing inappropriate about the feelings themselves. Again, I really want to stress that: the feelings are not inappropriate. This is a safe place to let stuff hang out and none of us would want it any other way.

This thread was largely motivated by people-pleasing behavior. I didn't want to post on another poster's thread criticizing her there or directly confronting her because that is HER space, so I created my own thread in which I could indirectly address the behavior without taking a swipe at the poster. I don't know that a "greater good" has come out of it or that it was a right thing to do, but it's definitely given me a lot of food for thought.

I want to thank everyone who agrees or disagrees so civilly here. This is an amazing community. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone and appreciate the thoughtful dissent. Looking at things from other perspectives can only broaden my views, and that's always a good thing.