[lizziep]

i actually work in collections (talk about needing a new job!!) and i really think that bankruptcy might be a valid option for you. I don't think it'll get rid of the medical bills, but it can give you some breathing room on the vehicle loan and all the other stuff can go away. Once all that is cleared up, then you can be in a better position to budget and deal with everything else. Usually you can keep one auto loan in a bankruptcy so you may still be able to work something out.
Also as someone who works in collections, the absolute best thing you can do is call your creditors, be honest with them, and see if they can work something out for you. A lot of credit card companies are significantly reducing interest rates and minimum payments, you may be able to get a loan modification on the mortgage, etc. So if bankruptcy isn't an option, at least contacting your creditors is a start.

That's one thing off the list. Al the other things seem to have been addressed already- Flylady! Getting over the all or nothing mentality is so hard, but she helps and her stuff can be really helpful not just in dealing with keeping a clean house but in all aspects of your life- keeping healthy, exercising, dealing with work. I always tell myself "just fifteen minutes" and it seems to get me through.

I do think you should try to find a way to reconnect with your child that doesn't live with you. It sounds like she's going through a tough time and maybe could use the extra support. A small care package, a letter or email, a phone call to let her know you miss her. And I agree calling her dad and just being honest about what is going on.

I like the idea of just reexamining your list and seeing what you need to cope with each thing. Make a list of the things you can do to combat this- STRESSED? go for a walk, work out, you'll feel better. Overwhelmed at home? fifteen minutes a day can make all the difference in the world. You can do it!

[SouthLake]

There's another forum I visit from tiem to time called Frugalvillage that has wonderful people with amazing advice. If you're willing to post your budget there for each month, I'm sure they can help you figure out how to bring the ends closer together. Definitely cut out the supplement. It's expensive and unhealthy. Stick to a fiber filled, balanced diet, and that should help suppress your appetite.

How much money does your father in law make at his current job? (not a question you need to answer, but think about) Would it be worth it to have him quit his uber stressful job and watch your daughter (saving the daycare expenses) during the day, and find a part time job in the evenings/on weekends? While working someplace like Walmart, etc. won't pay a huge amount, when you add in the saved costs of daycare, it may be worth it. Also, will the lowered income offset you into any assistance programs?

How far is your ex behind on payments to you? Not that it's something you want to do, but if you're having difficulties providing for your family, you may need to go to the courts to press for the money he owes you. Be honest with your other ex, keep communication open.

Call your creditors. See if you can work out a payment plan for your medical bill. I know it's late in the game if they're pushing for collections, but can you work out a 10-20 a month payment until things ease up?

Is your car worth as much ore more than what you owe? Sell it, quick. Pay off the loan and get the cheapest car you can pay cash for. If not, be prepared for the car to be repossesed. Squirrel away any extra money you can to go towards a cheap craigslist car.

Definitely cut any extra expenses you can- cable, cell phoen, internet, home phone, netflix, etc. Call your utility companies and see what you can do about reduced rates.

Find a way to relax!!! Set aside a ten to 15 minute period each day for some kidn of relaxation ritual. A bath. A cup of tea. A few minutes reading a library book. No matter how stressed you feel and time crucnhed your day may be- commit to that ritual every single day.

Decide on a baseline clean for your house- I know mine has varied greatly with the amoutnof time I have. Then, figure out what you need to keep it there and divide it up. FIL may be sickly, but he can vaccuum twice a week. Get the little things that stick in your toilet to keep them clean. (scrubbign bubbles or something? its like 3 bucks for 6 of them that last 3 weeks or so a piece) DH can empty the dishwasher before he leaves for work, you can run it at night when its full. If you dont have a dishwasher- get a rack and let him put them away when theyre dry. Have each person sort their laundry when they put it into hampers. Even if you have a cardboard box for each color, it will save sorting time.

You CAN get through this. And as a side note- my husband worked for Blockbuster for several years as a store manager. I firmly believe their impending bankruptcy is a direct result of karma for the way they have treated their employees.

[texascritter001]

you can defently get rid of your medical bills and keep whatever items you wish to keep if your filing chapter 13 bankruptsy. if you have 2 cars you may keep both of them. your notes may drop by 75% or more. it's repaid over a period of time. i'm doing 5 years which is the max time to lower my payments to the lowest possible amount. everything that doesn't have a lien is wiped off your debts at the end of the time period you choose. taxes are not wipped off and must be included in your plan if you owe back taxs. also the 1st 3 years you have to turn over your tax returns to the trustee. it all goes toward your debts. alot of the laywers these days charge you nothing upfront to file the case including the filing fee. all cost are included in your payment of one lump payment to a trustee once a month. whatever day your laywer files the documents with the courts becomes your due date for your payment so be aware if you need this due date to fall before a payday. it takes over a week for your payments to be applied so if your payment is due on the 1st you would have to have sent it in at least a week before that date. hope this helps.