I use my family name as my middle name, but I wasn't as attached to my given name as you are. One unexpected benefit is that while there are several people named Joy Moll on the internet there is only one Joy Weese Moll, so joyweesemoll is always available as a username.
Also, the thing about people not using middle names? Since I kept my family name, I use my middle name much more than I would have otherwise. It's a little odd sometimes in speech. People don't know whether to use two names or three names when they introduce me. But it works great in writing and I think it helps people remember my name better (that librarian with three names), so it has helped with name recognition in my professional life. I use all three names pretty much everywhere I write my name. Even my emails are signed "--Joy" on one line and "Joy Weese Moll" underneath.
I hated my maiden name, I love my middle name but it rhymes with my married last name so kind of sounds funny using all 3. I generally just use my first name and last night although my passport and drivers license have my middle name on them.
i decided on 2 last names and dropped my middle name. so i used to be Jessica Marie Jaynes and am now Jessica Jaynes Paez. i gave my daughter (she was stillborn) my middle name-Joslyn Marie.
After I got married, my SS card and driver's license read: Jessica M. (maiden name) (hislastname). for example: Jessica M.Smith Johnson
I did this for a few reasons:
1) I wanted a reference to my middle name (starts with an m) so that if there was ever legal documentation that had my middle name, I could still prove it was me.
2) I liked claiming my maiden name--it's who I was for 26 years.
3)My college diplomas and teaching certificates had my maiden name on them.
3) with my maiden name on my ss card and driver's license, people can still write checks to me using my maiden name (like my mom who can't spell my married name, lol) or to my married name.
edited: actually I think my name on my ss card read Jessica M-Smith Johnson. I liked the hyphen better and no one at ss or the dmv cared.
Last edited by chickybird; 12-03-2010 at 01:51 PM.
Also, it was easier to change my last name on all of my credit cards than it was to change my name on my World of Warcraft account. *grins*
LMFAO that seriously made my day...
I'd say keep it as it is, or do as the two poster's above and give the names to your children. If I ever get married, I'm keeping my lastname and he can keep his, only because my name won't sound good with anyone else's last night.
I use my maiden name and I've never felt like I "gave up" my middle name. My legal signature may not include it but I'll always be Heidi Jean to my family and childhood friends.
Well, it was easy for me, because I don't have a middle name! I thought about keeping my birth name (ftr, I hate the term maiden name. Bugs the cr@p out of me ) as a middle name, but since my father is an a-hole that I'm glad is not in my life, I don't really have a huge connection to it. I just use it on facebook as my middle name, so old friends can find me.
Anyhow, if I were you, I'd keep them both, or hyphenate my birth and married last names.
Don't hyphenate ....this causes nothing but confusion, say you are Smith-Jones, half the world will file you under Smith the other half will file you under Jones.
If I had it to do over, I would have used my middle name, maiden and then his.
As it is I use my middle and took his last name. Might have to change that.
The one thing I did NOT do was become Mrs. John Doe. We still have little old ladies who come in to pay the bill, and sign the check, Mrs. John Doe. It just seems so weird to me, it's like these women, once they married became some non person.
One other thing that bugs me, our checks read his first name/last name, my first name/hislastname. Now we could be married, but we could be brother/sister, cousins, father/daughter, mother/son, family business partners, etc., but some clerks insist on saying thank you Mrs. xxxx. How do they know? Just one of those little things that bugs me for no particular valid reason.
I don't have a middlename, and it never crossed my mind to use my maiden name as a middle name when I got married. Now I am in the process of a divorce, so I need to decide if I want to keep my married name (15yrs worth) or go back to my maiden name.
Thanks so much for all your input!!! Mucho helpful
I'm still leaning towards Megan Kendrick Hislastname. I love the name Jewel, but I don't think it really defines my identity as Kendrick does. "Megan Kendrick" is who I have been for 22 years, not "Megan Jewel."
I am considering Megan Jewel Kendrick Hislastname, it just seems like...a lot. Too much name-age, lol.
And as has been suggested, "Jewel" is definitely at the top of the list for little girl names. I have a female cousin named Kendrick and a male distant cousin named Ken/Kendrick. So I'll be using the names one way or another
The first two places I changed my name were social security & driver's license. Both recommended keeping my maiden name as my middle name for continuity - much like the comment above about being able to prove it's you. Since I never actively used my middle name and liked keeping the heritage of my last name it was a good choice for me. Oddly for house purchases they created all the documents with my middle name and required me to sign my name with my middle name instead of my documented maiden name. I believe there's only one other person in the country with the same first/last name combination that I have. And I can be really sure there'd be no one else with my first/maiden/last name combination.
Make sure you really love the one you choose, because reverting to a former name is a big pain in the butt. The most pain was with the phone and cable companies. I had to fax them a copy of my changed IDs along with a letter explaining. I am back to my maiden name on all fronts now, but took a better part of 4 years to do it.
I never considered dropping my middle name, but I added my maiden name as a second middle name. It is a little long, but not really. both my married last name and my middle name are only one syllable, so the whole long name only comes out to seven syllables.
Also, I never use all four names. They are on my drivers license and social security cards, but that's it. I've never liked the way my first name (Jessica) looks in cursive (I have terrible s's) So I sign my signature as JMR Lastname.
I actually waited almost two years to change my name after I got married- I really wanted to take on his name because I love the sentiment, but I was attached to my maiden name. I played sports for so long growing up and Jessica is EXCEPTIONALLY common, and so in some ways, my last name was just as much of my first name as my first name! I had a hard time dealing with the thought of leaving that all behind, until I decided to keep it as a second middle name. Sometimes I still miss my maiden name, especially since my married name is unusual and a derivative spelling of an illegal drug (not on purpose, it's just what most people think of!) But, I'm happy with my big long name. And really, you pretty much never need to write out the whole thing. (I'm thinking less than ten times in the last three years)
) as a middle name, but since my father is an a-hole that I'm glad is not in my life, I don't really have a huge connection to it. I just use it on facebook as my middle name, so old friends can find me.
