I'm not in favor of letters being sent home from school for anything other than school related purposes. Problems with math, behavior, being late, etc., that's fine, send me a letter. My kid's weight is not the government's business. I will worry about my kid and they can worry about class-size, books and whether we can trust sixth graders not to freak dance if we have a school dance.
The nanny state mentality where government feels the need to tell us what's good for us is a really dangerous road to head down. Each one of us probably thinks that we don't need to be told how to best raise our kid so why do we assume that the guy down the block needs the govt. to help him with his?
There are a lot of people who are upset about this not because of an issue with their own child, but because there is a principle behind it which makes a lot of people uncomfortable.
Eliana, I agree that parents who have overweight children should not be considered child abusers. But like you said, parents who make no efforts at all to feed their kids healthy foods, or actively make poor decisions, are in the wrong.
About your son, my son is the same way. He isn't overweight at all, but if I would let him he would eat all day long. Not because he's hungry, but because he's bored, frustrated, upset, or even if he sees someone else with food. We used to have an open door policy on healthy snacks. He was allowed to have whatever he wanted as long as it was a healthy choice. Eventually he was eating several pieces of fruit, 1/2 a BIG bag of baby carrots etc. every day. I eventually set ground rules. He isn't allowed to get anything without asking first. I hate this, but this way I can help him figure out if he's eating because he's hungry or bored etc. He's also not allowed to eat anything for an hour before meals and an hour before bed.
When I was a kid my family was poor. We lived on cheap food. Corn in my frozen dinner was as close to veggies as I got on a regular basis. Thankfully, I didn't get overweight though. I think it may have been because I was always moving as a kid. I was very hyper. My little brother and sister both became overweight as kids and both struggle with obesity now.
There are programs available to people now. You can buy healthy food at Aldi's, where before you could only get super processed "food" products. I understand that there are legitimate reasons for children to be overweight, but there are ALWAYS ways to combat it. It may not be easy, as we all know, but for a lot (not all) of families I'm betting it's as simple as healthier food choices and turning off the TV or computer and getting some exercise.
There are a lot of people who are upset about this not because of an issue with their own child, but because there is a principle behind it which makes a lot of people uncomfortable.
This is why it's such a hot issue. I don't like the government stepping in either, but some parents (not allll) need a reality check.
I can't understand why parents feed their children junk until they are classified as obese and then are surprised when the school lets them know the child is headed toward life long health problems and probably a shorter life span than the parents. That's right. This is the first generation that will have a shorter lifespan than we do. We've feed them to death.
I think the school should inform the parents and if they don't take steps to correct the situation, they should be considered child abusers.
I wholeheartedly agree.
Growing up, my parents NEVER, ever had healthy food in the house. My mom was (and still is) addicted to Coca Cola and that is all she would buy. And fruit juices. We never had water. For breakfast, she would always make us pancakes and sausages. We always ate fast food. Maybe 3-4 times a week.
They never taught us the importance of healthy eating. I am going to break that cycle with my daughter. I think schools advising parents about their children being obese should be an eye opener for them.
I was an overweight child and remember the embarrassment and humiliation of weighing in gym class in front of the other kids. Interesting the same thing happened 15 years later when my daughters were in school. They were slim and very athletic however they came home and described being embarrassed about having to "call out" their weights. One daughter developed an eating disorder imediately after the weigh in as she believed that the other kids weighed 85 lbs and she was 105 lbs. She was a nationally ranked distance runner yet had a distorted body image and thought she was fat. (This didn't start until the school weigh in.) Within a few months she was seeing a psychologist and did weigh 85 lbs.
My son was heavy and ended up quitting sports as other kids teased him and coaches left him sitting on the bench. He was picked on and bullied in school, sometimes even by the teachers. One teacher's explanation was that he was trying to "motivate" him to lose weight. This led to his sitting in front of the TV and computer and getting heavier and less fit. We knew he was heavy and I tried to serve healthy meals and encourage physical activity but it didn't really help. (I probably sabotaged all of our weights at the time by following current believes and serving a very low-fat, high-carb diet.
I guess I have concerns about how this public labeling would be handled. Would they send letters home with the obese kids? which of course all the kids would figure out. How publically would they be weighed?
If schools could help by improving school lunches and not offering sugar filled drinks even juice in school. If they could encourage physical activity and participation in sports in school for all children and not just kids like my daughters who were athletically gifted. Do you know how many children are cut each year from sports programs because they aren't as good or haven't been fortunate enough to participate in "traveling" teams to improve skills since they were little. Well I guess that is my rant. I just hate kids being labeled.
Growing up, my parents NEVER, ever had healthy food in the house. My mom was (and still is) addicted to Coca Cola and that is all she would buy. And fruit juices. We never had water. For breakfast, she would always make us pancakes and sausages. We always ate fast food. Maybe 3-4 times a week.
They never taught us the importance of healthy eating. I am going to break that cycle with my daughter. I think schools advising parents about their children being obese should be an eye opener for them.
I was an obese child and my mom knew it because she struggled with her weight all her life. I was taking to many doctors, nutritionists, etc. I was probably the only 10 year old that knew how to read a nutritional label. We had no junk in the house and no convenience foods. She enrolled me in after school activities where I'd be able to get exercise, etc. My mom knew I was obese and was struggling with trying to help me.
Beyond parents like mine, there are also parents who don't know anything about nutrition themselves. They don't know how to feed themselves, let alone their children.
I would feel a lot more comfortable with
my doctor telling me I was overweight, obese, etc.
than the school telling me this. I feel that
if the school is going to inform you (or your
parents) about your weight, then they
should also step up and take responsibility
for helping their students become more healthy.
It's kind of hypocritical on the school's part.
"Yeah, your child is overweight, but we're also
helping to contribute to it by buying inexpensive
meals with lots of fats and sugars."
I'm not blaming all this on the schools.
Everyone is the cause of kids becoming bigger
and bigger. The community, society, the parents,
the child, fast-food places, etc.
I'm just saying, if the school is going to make
the parents aware of their child's weight, then
they should also be aware of what their
feeding their students.
I think those letters should also go out with a note asking for money so they can keep physical education in the schools, so they can have sports equipment, so they can afford to feed children quality food for lunch rather than garbage and foods filled with hormones.
I feel like there is a problem, but it's not just up to the parents to fix it. The schools have pop machines in their hallways and have cut sports and PE and then send you home a note saying your kid is fat, or they are hyper active. maybe you shouldn't have let the kid have a jolt, then only 5 minutes between classes, fed him sugar for lunch, and then wonder why he can't sit still or focus? Please!
I don't know. My mother cooked all organic and never had much junk food in the house yet me and my brother both had weight problems. It was a big treat for us to go to our skinny cousins house and see the twinkies and stuff they had in their house all the time.
It really isn't a simple issue.
you are absolutely correct! and in our school district, it doesnt matter what they get at home, because it is ALL crap being served in the cafeteria, only way around that is to pack a lunch, which we do, but there is still vending machines! just saying..............
I do think that teaching kids proper nutrition is important. I don't know if they still do, but in my health class we covered that and female/male reproductive stuff.
I was aware of healthy eating when I was younger (though not taught by my parents), but was powerless over the groceries or meals my parents got from fast food places. Even the healthy stuff was doctored with fat and salt added, or fried.
I guess I'm not talking about a lesson or 2 on the food pyramid, but a really comprehensive culture of healthy lifestyle at the school -- which would include what they serve in the cafeteria and what their fitness program looks like.
No doubt that the schools will not be able to reverse the problem on their own. I wholeheartedly agree that what's going on at home is the biggest issue. BUT, I think the question is whether sending the letter is productive or not, and I don't think it is. DO teach the kids who don't get the lesson at home to be passionate about nutrition and fitness, maybe they'll even take it home and share. DON'T anger and alienate a bunch of parents, most who probably don't know how to do any better than they are. Now if they were offering some kind of fitness and nutrition counseling to parents (free of charge), along with the letter, I may feel a little differently about it. Just a "your kid's fat, have a nice day" seems pointless to me. I personally don't believe there are a lot of obese families with obese children who don't already know there's a problem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittycarlson
I was an overweight child and remember the embarrassment and humiliation of weighing in gym class in front of the other kids. I just hate kids being labeled.
Kitty, sorry about the trouble your daughter had, but I am so on board with your post. I do believe that however it's done, it's not as confidential as they are trying to pretend it is. I remember way back in the day, we had our weights taken during SWIMMING, in our bathing suits! AND the same day did our scoliosis test -- bend over in your bathing suit in front of all the boys (9th GRADE!), and let us check your back. If my daughter were humiliated in that way now, I can't even imagine who all would be hearing from me. I hate kids being labeled, too! And I'm sorry, but just because a kid is skinny is NO guarantee that they are living a healthy lifestyle. ALL kids need to learn about this stuff in an ongoing, pervasive way at school, or the school can just shut up about it!
Wow, there was my rant! I guess I'm channeling my inner humiliated, embarrassed middle schooler here.
This makes me think of the "self-fulfilling prophecy". How many kids are getting this label and then believe that they are destined to be fat, etc.?
There is a big difference between a child and adult. I had several male cousins growing up who were short little chunkers in middle school and by high school over 6 feet tall and thin. Kids have growth spurts, etc.
At the time I would have been terribly embarrassed about it, but I honestly wish my elementary school would have sent my parents a note that said I was obese. Maybe, just maybe, they would have chosen to be a bit more proactive about what they fed me and the examples they were giving me as a kid. Eventually I did take it upon myself to change my lifestyle, learn how to cook for myself instead of the junk my parents fed me, and lost 65 lbs on all on my own from from age 13/14 to 14/15, but that was only after I sprung up to 210 lbs at my highest weight and was seriously obese for someone at my height and age. No matter how healthy my lifestyle is now(I'm 16 currently, 17 in a couple months) I imagine that there will always be issues and after-effects I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life.
Beyond how great it would have been for me to never have gotten to that point in the first place, I really do wish that once I was there- an obese kid in elementary school- that my parents got the smack in the face about the reality of that before I decided to take action on my own. Over the past year I've had conversations with my father that absolutely shocked and angered me... where I would mention to him, about my weight loss, how I was once obese and he would always respond with "you weren't obese, you were just a little chubby!" A little chubby? 210 lbs on a 12-13 year old is just a LITTLE CHUBBY!? Growing up, I was always so aware(and miserable) about my condition as a very overweight kid that I always thought that my parents were as aware of it as I was. Looking back on it now, I realize that there was some serious denial going on there... denial that allowed them to continue teaching me horrible lifestyle practices and bringing home fast food meals for the family to eat for dinner every night.
I think "obese" very well SHOULD be an emotional word. Perhaps it takes the emotion in that word... an emotional smack in the face that says "HEY, YOUR KID IS OBESE" that might inspire the very people who are letting this weight epidemic in kids happen to make the change we need for a healthier society of young people.
Horo, thank you so much for sharing your opinion. It really adds to the discussion as I have been wondering how a young person would feel having this letter sent to their parent. I think that the majority of perspectives on this topic have been from parent point of view or from an adult remembering the distant past of being an overweight youth.
I do wonder how common your reaction would be or if it would be embarrassing/unwelcome for most elementary kids. would that discomfort be worth it because of the chance at a healthier life they would get? I would love to see the outcome studies about how well this approach works or doesn't work compared to a school who doesn't notify parents.
Horo, thank you so much for sharing your opinion. It really adds to the discussion as I have been wondering how a young person would feel having this letter sent to their parent. I think that the majority of perspectives on this topic have been from parent point of view or from an adult remembering the distant past of being an overweight youth.
I do wonder how common your reaction would be or if it would be embarrassing/unwelcome for most elementary kids. would that discomfort be worth it because of the chance at a healthier life they would get? I would love to see the outcome studies about how well this approach works or doesn't work compared to a school who doesn't notify parents.
Well, I'm 28 and consider myself still very much a child in certain circumstances
My memory isn't foggy. My parents were total health nuts. No soda, no garbage, family dinners, bike riding, hiking, basketball team, tennis lessons... I should NOT have had a weight problem as a child. But I did. I had a problem with food. I snuck it. I was predispositioned to it. It's just the way it was.
Really, I promise, my parents were proactive in providing me with a healthy lifestyle. Compared to some of the garbage my friends ate all the time? I practically lived in a farmer's market. So yeah, assuming that my parents were clueless is a little out there to me.
I'll tell you one thing, though. I fully believe that it begins and ends at home because for as overweight as I was, I learned healthy habits early on. I love my vegetables. I enjoy being active, and did at my highest weight. My parents instilled a foundation so that when I was ready, I pretty much knew what to do. If the schools want to tackle building those foundations I'm all for it, but first they have to stop contributing to the problem before they start signing those letters.
Horo - Really well said. I think there are blinders that parents put on with their children in lots of situations, with weight and health being one of them.
I don't think the government should have to tell us our kids are obese. BUT, we also shouldn't need a law saying we have to wear seat belts... common sense right. There is a reason the shampoo bottles and Laundry soap bottles say DO NOT EAT.
Seriously, I think the letters are a start... of something... of anything to get people focused on their childrens nutrition and health. But the next thing is to get into those cafeterias and get some really good, unprocessed food in there so parents can make those changes.
The biggest tragedy I see is not the parents being offended, but absolutely nothing being done to help the situation. So, the letter goes nowhere, and parents don't really have options to help, even if they wanted to.
If my daughter were humiliated in that way now, I can't even imagine who all would be hearing from me. I hate kids being labeled, too! 
