kim?

absolutely and totally agree.


where i was going with that tho?

even in a marriage? MY marriage?

for it to be a emotionally intense experience?

i need a reason.

my husband?

sex is sex is sex.

he needs a place.

LOL

now to avoid being reprimanded by the mods? i wont further comment on MY sex life with MY husband in detail.

but lets say it is good for me and covers the gamut of reason and place and emotional bonding. whew...

hope that was G rated.

i tried... ha!

mayness!!!!


awesome questions!!!

i am waiting to see the responses...

Originally Posted by mrs dorson:
kim?

absolutely and totally agree.


where i was going with that tho?

even in a marriage? MY marriage?

for it to be a emotionally intense experience?

i need a reason.

my husband?

sex is sex is sex.

he needs a place.

LOL

now to avoid being reprimanded by the mods? i wont further comment on MY sex life with MY husband in detail.

but lets say it is good for me and covers the gamut of reason and place and emotional bonding. whew...

hope that was G rated.

i tried... ha!

I stick to my orginal response, thankfully, ALL men are not created equal. And without getting into the details, I believe many relationships could greatly benefit from the art of tantric sex:)

Originally Posted by JerseyGyrl:
I stick to my orginal response, thankfully, ALL men are not created equal. And without getting into the details, I believe many relationships could greatly benefit from the art of tantric sex:)

Side bar: One of my friends and her husband were practicing the art of Tantric and he, um, lost his marbles. They had to stop and go to the ER.

Aw G spot...where is this thread headed?

Originally Posted by 4myself:
Side bar: One of my friends and her husband were practicing the art of Tantric and he, um, lost his marbles. They had to stop and go to the ER.

Hmmmm.....sorry to hear that. And again....ALL men are not created equal;)

in his posterior?


oh my

Retraction. Ouch.

Originally Posted by mrs dorson:
.....

and EZ?

i aprreciate your comments as a male with a strong religious slant.
the thing i hope and wish that you (and others) see is that the OP is a woman, she may or may not have had your church influence and she may not have had your life experience growing up.....

You know it never bothers me when people bring up the fact that I am a christian or some of my posts swing from that side of the plate..I would hope that they do.

What I do resent is the fact that some threads can go on and on with people sharing their thoughts but as soon as I (sometimes I really strongly feel this way...so bear with me gals ;)) voice mine it becomes a "who are you to judge" thing.

If you look back I made several comments answering your question and didn't bring religious beliefs up at all.

The only time I did is when I said I didn't know if the girl was really repentant if she didn't go to her husband with the truth.

Another poster said that was between her and her maker....fair enough but when she brought up "maker" I came back with what my faith says about true repentance according to my God's Word....

I never judged her...I just stated my opinion....what I believe and why on repentance.

To tell you the truth I enjoy sex as much as anyone :)

oh to be young again....;)

But I can also say that when anyone has sex outside of marriage they are taking a very big risk for unfortunate things to happen....

notice I did not say christian marriage...just marriage :)

venting finished....whewww....;)

Well, it's been fun.

Gary, the world would be a better place to raise my babies if there were more people like you in it. :hug:

Originally Posted by mayness:
Purely out of curiosity, and feel free to deny to answer if you think it's taking the thread in too different a direction :p... why does this "scare" you? Are you scared for yourself (maybe that you'd be seen as "weird") or for other women? Or men? Or is it a religious/moral thing?

I initially meant in reference to cheating as was being discussed in the thread. I don't think the "sex is just sex" should ever be used as an excuse for cheating not to be a big deal. Cheating on your spouse/partner is a huge deal. I saw first hand how it broke up my family and it was very devestating.

I am not scared for myself as I am in a commited relationship, but I have young sons and a daughter who I don't ever want to think that casual sex is ok - I don't want any of my kids to have "friends with benefits". As I stated before I think sex should be something intimate and special that you share with a commited partner whom you care very deeply about. I can't imagine sleeping with random people just because.

I am not overly religious, but I do beileve in god. So, maybe it is a moral issue with me or maybe it was the way we were raised, but sex was always portrayed as something special and that is the way I will be raising my kids. You just have to turn them loose into the world and hope you raised them right I guess.

Does that answer your question?

Originally Posted by lovinlifex2:
As I stated before I think sex should be something intimate and special that you share with a commited partner whom you care very deeply about. I can't imagine sleeping with random people just because.

Again, I could not agree more:)

Originally Posted by 4myself:
Well, it's been fun.

Gary, the world would be a better place to raise my babies if there were more people like you in it. :hug:

That just might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me! Thank-you :) :hug:

Growing up I saw what infidelity in marriage could do to your mother. It didn't happen often, just a couple of times....3 that I know of....when I was a baby - then a young teen - then when I was grown and gone....around 24...

and it was always "I'm sorry..it won't ever happen again"....mom always took him back.

Even the last time...when she said never -ever again....but this time his girlfriend kicked him out...he had nowhere to go but home....

guess the other half of the affair wasn't interested in a man that was in the beginning stages of pancreatic cancer....

he came home and died there....

mom took care of him to the very end.

Other than those few times they had a wonderful marriage...honestly...he was a good father...

other than a few affairs....

I was not a christian then, growing up...not until I was in my late 20's. However, I knew from what I saw my mom go through...and how my dad thought it was NO BIG DEAL to have a girlfriend from time to time...for casual sex...

after all...mom was a stick in the mud...too tired after working all day at her job (when she had one...about 1/2 of the time we grew up)...cooking...cleaning...and raising four kids....too tired to seduce her husband at the door when he came home...

maybe she would have been a little more receptive if he didn't come home half butt drunk a lot of the time...later in life...

Anyway I knew I could never do that to someone I loved...never.

I never have...but then I have had sex outside of marriage...

it was not casual...not in the least...they were steady girlfriends...

I grew up in the 60-70's where sex was a pretty free for all...at least in the bunch I hung around with...good kids too....for the most part.

At 55 years old I can look back on a lot of years...a lot of family members...and friends...co-workers...

and see the damage that has been caused by people having sex outside of marriage....

it isn't all devastating...not in the least...

but I can see...and here is where I throw that "religious card" ;)....

I think God had better things in mind for us...

Be careful out there ladies....especially you young ones :hug:

be careful indeed. here is how your young child learns to have casual sex. first- at twelve they are forced into going further then they want to with some boy. then they start thinking that's all they're good for and that is all boys want from them. so they fill the role they think they're supposed to play.
then- after a while of people who treat her like trash and throw her away - she falls in love. gives her virginity (or maybe just her heart) to someone who means the world to her. And he also throws her away like trash...
and after that - sex means nothing. Love and sex to not go together.
For me, this is a very abbreviated version of what happened. I have never "made love" to my husband. I will never fully trust him. I do not equate sex with love. They are completely separate, and have to me, in order for me to keep up the walls that I've worked so hard to built around myself. and you know, i'm totally cool with those walls. but i'm also totally cool with people having one night stands, as long as they are using safe sex.
I am also not a christian or any other religion really. But I do know that lying is wrong, no matter what, and it's the one thing that I refuse to accept no matter what. I've tolerated a lot in my life, but I draw the line at lying. And that's really what this debate comes down to.
If a person is a liar, I don't want them in my life. And the sooner I find that out, the better for me. If I was married to a liar for several years before finding out- I would be furious and devastated.

....and this, my friends, is exactly why I am an atheist.