I've been obese nearly all of my remembered existence, so in a very real way, I do not have a "thin person" trying to get out.
No thin person trying to get out here, either.
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- and I punched him in the eye and he fell into the garbage can (Yeah, elephant power!).
Elephants don't put up with any crap!
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I guess I don't see names as labels as much as social "placeholders," if that makes any sense.
Yes. But, these are self-chosen placeholders. I only think it's different, because these names generally reflect (at least partially) something that someone feels they are, or that they like. But, you're absolutely right that unless we ask, we really don't know the meaning behind the username. And, of course, the way we feel is going to be projected onto the username, and not always the other way around.
(BTW - I actually got a kick out of "FatAss3000"... nearly made me spit my water out... I'm considering asking a mod to change my UN... )
The other thing is that often enough I come across a username that is accompanied by a self-hating introduction. It's a natural connection for me to assume the name is also self-hating. So, what I'm feeling out first isn't the name so much as it is the introduction. Random possible example: "I hate this about me, I hate that about me, I'm ugly and I'm gross". (I'm not saying there's something wrong with that, I mean there is... but I mean that's where many journeys have begun so it's not uncommon to read it. And hopefully shortly after people move on from the hate.) I pick all that up, read the name, and if the name is "Ihatemyfatforeverz42" I can't help but transfer what I've read to the username.
PS - Pigs anyone? I think they're so cute! I'm a huge fan! ... oh boy... pun intended?
Sometimes, I get so frustrated with the self-hatred posts, I just want to scream, "you're fat, not a syphalitic serial killer! Buck up!"
Maybe a more sympathetic approach would be better, though don't you think.
But seriously, I think that being fat is tough enough without piling self-hatred onto the pile. No use making life any tougher than it has to be. I cringe when I see anyone, but especially someone who has maybe 10 lbs to lose, bemoaning the fact that they "can't" go swimming, because they're sooooo fat they look "disgusting" in a swimsuit. I know I should be more sympathetic, but it actually angers me that someone is jailing themselves that way. Even at 394 lbs, I took the deathmarch to the pool, because I wasn't going to let anyone deprive me of the opportunity to enjoy the water and actually be able to get an aerobic workout comfortably. A big Plbfht to the idiots who stared or whispered. Once in the water, I felt safe and "covered" which was silly, because um, the water is transparent.
Don't get me wrong, I do understand the fear, the feelings of exposure, just not the self-deprivation (I'm too much of a hedonist for that, I suppose).
Don't get me wrong, I do understand the fear, the feelings of exposure, just not the self-deprivation (I'm too much of a hedonist for that, I suppose).
I am the one JayEll is referring to about the name after the cat--which was BigFatty. I personally don't think it's automatic that we should all think this person has low self-esteem or is down on themselves for a name like that. Who knows their reasons behind it. I thought mine was hilarious, and would not have changed it if I hadn't been asked to for fear of "offending" others. This website is Three FAT Chicks on a diet. I don't care how "positive" this website is, the name is not. I mean really, come on!
I guess some people choose a name to reflect how they currently feel when they join and some people choose how they want to feel/their 'target' type name if you will.
I don't see my name as negative whatsoever - it's empowering to me as it reminds me that yes that chocolate bar may well taste good but will it make me happy long term? no it will not. So whilst day to day it may feel like 'unhappyness' (which it does not but I'm just trying to quantify the reasoning) by not eating x y and z, long term? Long term it does mean a happier me.
Another reason for the name is that I cannot be clearly identified on the net. I have a few tagnames etc most of which are distinctive and have used for a number of years. 3FC is my sanctuary and I want to keep it that way
I did wonder a few months ago whether or not to change my name but decided against it; it signifies how I felt the day I joined and how far I've come.
Last edited by denialisnthappiness; 05-21-2008 at 04:23 PM.
Reason: add some more!
I guess some of us choose names that inspire us to be what we wish to become, others (like myself) don't give it much thought... but, interesting discussion. Words can be taken just for what the dictionary says, but it depends on our context, our culture etc. what they mean to each one of us. I, for example, associate "gorda" (fat) with painful memories from childhood and mean kids. But "gordita" is full of loving memories, however for some of you gordita is something in the tacobell menu
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PS - Pigs anyone? I think they're so cute! I'm a huge fan! ... oh boy... pun intended?
I think they're so cute too. I love them. I even was married to one for a while
It's funny how even "bad" names can have good associations. I remember in 7th grade some boys (a couple, I liked, one I even had a crush on) took to calling me C.C. Tanker and at first, I hated it. But showing weakness just makes teasing worse, so I laughed with them and then they started using it as a "fun" nickname. Not quite as fun for me, but since they weren't being mean, I just kind of rolled my eyes and bore with it. Then in 8th grade, our school did a play with a chubby character (I was stage director, and didn't try out for a part) named "Bumpers," and then that replaced C.C. Tanker (thank God!) at least it sounded a little feminine, and it was named after a girl, not a semi - funny that I would worry about that. If you're going to give me an insulting nickname, because I'm fat, at least make it a feminine sounding insulting nickname. Geez, I was a weird kid.
I remember a short play in high school that I read the script for and thought it was funny that one of the thinnest girls in school was playing a part of a chubby character. She tried dressing in loose clothing but that only accentuated how thin she was and to her constantly talking about eating in this play and rubbing her not fat belly just seemed silly to me....no point to this post just an observation of what I considered bad casting.
I have suggested to people here on 3FC that they consider changing their name - I think only twice and both times the women posting were obviously very very down on themselves and having a very hard time. As I recall one of them reacted very positively to my suggestion and changed her user name from "fatbomb" to something much more upbeat. The other person pretty thanked me for the suggestion, acknolwedged that it was a good idea, and never did anything.
As for hte name of the site, I don't find it offensive or bothersome at all, but I must admit that I don't like to keep the site up on my computer screen where others can see it. I tend to scroll down so the 3FC part isn't showing around other people.
but I must admit that I don't like to keep the site up on my computer screen where others can see it.
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A few weeks ago I let some of the guys at work check out my cellphone/computer. It has net service and MicroSoft Office even. For some reason they were looking at my favorites list which only went as far as 3 Fat Chicks(on a diet didn't fit). They somehow thought it was a porn site for guys who liked fat girls.
Hmm.. well since I'm one of the newer members of the group with the word "fat" in my UN, I thought I'd speak up. I honestly never even considered that my UN would be offensive to someone. In fact I'm still not even sure if it is or isn't after reading this thread. Anyway...
The reason I chose this UN is because I saw it the day I decided to change my life. I was looking at the postsecret.com website, as I do every Sunday, and one of the secrets was "I have become to fat to jump." At first it made me sad, and I realized that I too had become to fat to jump not only in the literal sense, but in the metaphorical sense too. It had been forever since I was able to jump high into the air like I could when I was a kid. I hadn't even attempted it in so long. I dare not attempt it in my 2nd floor apartment! What would a jumping 300lbs sound like to my neighbor below me? The post secret also hit me in my heart. How many things in my life have I not done because I was too afraid of being judged by my weight? How many chances did I not take? In other words how many moments of my life were lost because I was too fat to jump - too fat to even take the first step.
That is why I chose this UN. It has meant a lot to me. I've even started writing a novel with a fat heroine, a novel I've been wanting to write since high school. And when it's finished, I'm going to call it "Too Fat To Jump."
As for hte name of the site, I don't find it offensive or bothersome at all, but I must admit that I don't like to keep the site up on my computer screen where others can see it. I tend to scroll down so the 3FC part isn't showing around other people.
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I have sooo many lessons at college where were sat on the internet and all I want to do is come on here and read a few threads, some motivational stories and see how people are doing but can't because I don't want my whole class to know and read what I'm reading.
However I think once I've lost some weight and half way along my journey I'll be more like I don't mind people knowing cos ha I look good.
2fat2jump I love your story and how your writing a book and gonna name it after it.
No thin person trying to get out here, either.
Elephants don't put up with any crap!
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