It's been almost 6 months since I started this journey and I'm ashamed to admit that now I've become the food police. I am so AWARE of what other people are eating now, it's crazy. Everywhere I go I look at people eating, and wonder to myself..."Do they KNOW how many calories is in that???" I went to the farmers market last week and everyone was walking around and eating food it seemed. I swear, I could hardly concentrate on shopping because I was too busy examining what everyone was eating. I've become the walking version of Mydailyplate.com! All of a sudden, after eating like an animal for almost my whole life....I find myself judging what people are eating! Oh God...I swear I'm losing it.
I really don't do it like when I see other people eat, but when someone makes a weight comment....usually about themselves I catch myself saying, "Well *insert food they're eating here* has about 1500 calories...that's alot of people's daily alloted calories!"
Most of the time I feel bad for doing it
Last edited by THE Heather; 03-25-2008 at 08:29 AM.
OMG yes! I've found it very hard to talk about anything but my weight loss. It's embarrassing! My IL's are morbidly obese too. I find that every time I see them now I'm wishing they would join in this journey with me. I try not to say anything but I find myself judging too.
I call it the 'newly converted' syndrome, although it's not limited to newcomers to managed eating.
My daughter has also fought a weight battle ever since puberty. She is adult and living on her own now. At first, I made many comments of an instructional nature. Thankfully, we have a very open and good relationship and she felt comfortable sitting me down and letting me know that my comments were not welcome. She also realized it would take time for me to put into practice what she told me. Now I can keep my mouth shut, and she feels very comfortable asking me for info and advice when she needs it, knowing I won't rant.
I have found it very helpful to recite to myself that bit about Serenity, to remind myself that the only thing I truly control is myself, and to let the rest be...but I'm human, and it doesn't always work, lol
I certainly NEVER open my mouth, but I do kind of "record" it in my head. I can't help it! After years of never noticing what was in food, it's like I'm making up for it by noticing what's in ALL the food. Oh how I try to just look down at my own plate... I try so hard! Forgive me everyone who I've ever gone out to dinner with! I have been noticing what's on your plate and thinking to myself "I would never eat that again".
Also, please forgive me strangers in the grocery store... I also look in your cart and think about what changes I'd make to what you're buying...
Yes, I do the same. But imagine how many people thought of that about when we were eating like little pigs ourselves.
I really get down on myself when I go though the food court at the mall and say I wonder how many times people looked at me and said "she doesnt need to be eating that whopper and fries" Just like I do now when I see the same.
Also, please forgive me strangers in the grocery store... I also look in your cart and think about what changes I'd make to what you're buying...
LOL.....I do that too! I would never SAY anything to anyone, because God knows I don't have room to talk after years and years of eating like an animal. BUT....God forgive me....I do judge what people are eating in my head. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black syndrome! I ate like that for years! Now when I see a coworker or a complete stranger scarfing down a whopper with all those pieces of lettuce falling all over the place.....I want to scream....PUT DOWN THAT WHOPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I have the audacity to be disgusted by what someone else is eating....when a mere 6 months ago I would have been sitting there eating the whopper and gladly having pieces of lettuce fall in my lap!
I think, it is honest to admit this but just because we have eaten well for six months doesn't give us permission (if it is needed) to decide now that we are so "holier than thou" that we can "judge" others. I agree with the person who said it is a symptom of being "newly converted" and it is more zeal than it is "judgement". After all, if the tables were turned, we wouldn't want to be judged either and, who knows, perhaps, we were.
I can liken this to some recent events in my family's health and history. My Mom is diabetic and she has done the best she could. She found out when she was in her 60s and she told me that she thought an egg was a carb! When she found out she had cancer recently, she had had some warning signs but she ignored them. Now, she is in the battle for her life. When I began telling my sister how diabetes increases your chances for heart disease, cancer, stroke, heart attack, etc. --which has happened to my Mom all since January 15th!!---my sister poo-poohed me. My sister was told to quit smoking because she has early stages of emphezema(sp?)--and she hasn't yet. She has tried but hasn't.
I guess, I feel like just because I have eaten better in the past couple of years doesn't make me so virtuous that I can't have compassion for those people who are still battling this. I mean, come on, I had chocolate and jelly beans on Easter, who am I kidding? One thing I have learned in the OA Twelve Steps: I will always be a compulsive overeater----it is just today that I am blessed to be abstinent. The real litmus test will be in five or ten years. Just because we have been "good" for six months, doesn't mean we will be in a year or two??
I have compassion, not judgement (and not saying that you do) for those of us who would enjoy health benefits from eating better BUT, I was obese for 25 years, and I am not fooling myself that it didn't affect every part of my body. Time will tell.....
I think, it is honest to admit this but just because we have eaten well for six months doesn't give us permission (if it is needed) to decide now that we are so "holier than thou" that we can "judge" others. I agree with the person who said it is a symptom of being "newly converted" and it is more zeal than it is "judgement". After all, if the tables were turned, we wouldn't want to be judged either and, who knows, perhaps, we were
I'm so sorry your Mom and sister are facing such serious health issues but from from what I've gotten to "know" about the people here at 3FC, I wouldn't say that anyone here has a "holier than thou" attitude. It truly is more about just being excited with progress we've made, wanting to share what we've learned, and wanting to let more people know that they don't have to go on being miserable. Granted, there probably are some people out there who are perfectly happy with their size, but the diet industry wouldn't be so profitable if they were the majority.
As for me - OMG, DH and I like to go to buffets about once a week and when I see less than healthy looking people piling their plates with huge servings of creamy "stuff" and desserts, on the inside, I'm practically jumping up and down shouting and pointing to the seafood and salad sections - not because I think I'm better than they are for choosing a piece of salmon and tomato slices - but because I've been in their shoes and would be willing to bet they are not happy with themselves, know that "skinny" people are looking at what they have on their plates, and are going to be mentally beating themselves up either after they leave or maybe even while they are eating. Ditto on the grocery carts.
I have a variation of this syndrome- I see thin people eating rich, decadent food and my brain starts to race- "are they exercising more than me, does she have a faster metabolism?", etc. Why can SHE eat that chocolate cake and stay thin, and I just look at it and blow up? I KNOW, I really know, that in reality slender people just can't eat alot of junk all of the time, and that this is probably a rare splurge, but I have to beat that Green-Eyed Monster into submission from time to time. I will focus on enjoying my own fabulous meals, instead,and know what works for me!
Do You Watch What Other People Eat?
Oh God...I swear I'm losing it.
After years of never noticing what was in food, it's like I'm making up for it by noticing what's in ALL the food. Oh how I try to just look down at my own plate... I try so hard! Forgive me everyone who I've ever gone out to dinner with! I have been noticing what's on your plate and thinking to myself "I would never eat that again". 
scrappinRN & pamatga you put into words what I feel.
