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Old 06-13-2007, 04:31 PM   #1  
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Default Can you say "tacky"?

A few of you heard my rant a few weeks ago after a short, the invitation said the wedding was at 6 PM. Not one to be late, we show up at 5:45 PM--to an empty wedding/reception hall. We search out and find the wedding planner who tells us the wedding is scheduled for 7:30. Wait, what? 7:30?!?! We go find a bar to occupy us (we drove to another state for the wedding and just drove 45 minutes from our hotel to get there on time). A few phone calls later and we find out that the invitations were done like this ON PURPOSE because some of the groom's friends were habitually late so they made the time early (but didn't inform those of us who are punctual).

So. What's your story? What has happened to you that you feel is the epitome of tackiness?
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Old 06-13-2007, 04:37 PM   #2  
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Yes! They are TACKY. In fact, I don't even think I'd accept invitations from those people ever again without some distinct clarification.


Went to a party thrown by the boss. This was one of my late husband's bosses. There was a wicker tray on the counter. Everyone was supposed to put in $10 for themselves and each guest. INCLUDING CHILDREN! This guy was a millionaire. Guess that is how he got that way. Oh! And it was BYOB and anything else you wanted to drink. He provided hamburgers and hot dogs.
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Old 06-13-2007, 04:43 PM   #3  
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Allison - I would have been completely livid. I am a very punctual person and would hate killing an unncessary 1.5 hours in my fancy dress up clothes. Not to mention, I plan when I eat pretty carefully and that would have seriously messed me up.
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Old 06-13-2007, 10:01 PM   #4  
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i would have left when I found out, and would have sent them a letter too. That is just not okay to do to people.

I can't think of anything too horrible - unless you count my mother in law who on multiple (read: most) occasions would be anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours late meeting me and then casually saying "Well, I'm on time for IMPORTANT things"
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Old 06-13-2007, 10:16 PM   #5  
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That's awful!!! I've never heard of anyone doing that before! They should have printed them separate invitations!
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Old 06-13-2007, 10:25 PM   #6  
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I don't have wedding etiquette story, but have you ever read through some of the things at

My favorite tacky story was about a co-worker who I will call L. L was the most singularly cheap person I have ever met. L didn't have a car and bought a desk a Crate & Barrel. She didn't want to pay to have it shipped, so she asked M, another co-worker who had a minivan, to help her pick it up. M agreed, assuming that L was asking for a ride over to the store. Not so - L was asking M to go pick up the desk for her and deliver it to her house. M was a mother of two who was extremely busy and didn't even live nearby. Of course M declined to be a delivery person for L, and L didn't forgive M for months for "being selfish".
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Old 06-14-2007, 12:36 PM   #7  
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That is aweful. I am a very punctual person and lateness drives me nuts.

As for tacky, I went to a wedding recently. The couple was registered with stores and had very expensive gifts listed. So, most everyone at the wedding had given pricey gifts. Then to top it off, the groomsmen sent around a shoe at the reception asking all the guests to donate money to pay for the honeymoon. (This may be expected some places, but I've definitely never seen it done before).

This same bride is now having a baby. The list of items she wants are all very expensive and color-coordinated. I was told that we are expected to get her the stroller that is over $200.00. (she is from the DH's family,BTW). I told DH that I'm not buying it and will glady pick up a nice baby outfit for the baby. Just plain tacky, IMHO. To top it all off, we didnt' receive an invitation to the baby shower.
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Old 06-14-2007, 12:40 PM   #8  
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WOW!! That's definitely one I've never heard. Tacky is right!

Umm, I think the epitome of tacky is that dollar dance thing. I've never actually seen it at a wedding but I've known a few people who have done it.
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Old 06-14-2007, 12:47 PM   #9  
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Oh! Those are terrible wedding-etiquette stories.

Tacky is ... a sibling who complains about "all the damn gifts" they received for their wedding. It was at that time I decided to make a donation in their name to OxFam for their wedding present.

Tacky is ... friends who find ways to pawn off their errands and other less desirable to-do's onto unsuspecting friends. Or giving someone a retro piece of furniture as a gift for helping them move, but then suggesting that they might want that back someday. ??
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Old 06-14-2007, 12:56 PM   #10  
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Hmmm, Lily, I think if you're not invited to the shower, you don't "owe" them a gift either - maybe something small when the baby is actually born.
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Old 06-14-2007, 01:02 PM   #11  
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People are amazing!

I was at a funeral a couple of months back and 20 or so minutes into it someone's cell phone went off. I thought, gee that person probably feels awful - I'm glad it wasn't me and I quickly checked mine even though I was sure I had turned it off. Now for the tacky part - FOUR other cell phones went off befor the funeral was over!
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Old 06-14-2007, 01:14 PM   #12  
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Yep...All the ones mentioned are tacky!! Some people!!???

Speaking of tacky: How about giving a $45.00 picture frame for a wedding gift and then see it in their yard sale for $2.00 6 months later UNUSED!!! That's what happened to a friend of mine! (BTW: The frame WAS on their gift register).
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Old 06-14-2007, 01:19 PM   #13  
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Okay, so I got a wedding present -- a beatiful frame -- but the card INSIDE was from the giver's wedding -- to _________ from Aunt _____________ !!! I'm not totally against regifting, just be careful!!!

The dollar dance -- hate it!! I used to see it done when I was little, not so much any more -- you got to the wedding, shower, etc. give a gift and then they want you to fill their bag with cash!!!
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Old 06-14-2007, 04:30 PM   #14  
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My cousin told me all about her wedding and wedding shower but I wasn't invited to either. Instead inviting a mutual friend of ours and her entire family, when she's always complaining about this friend and her family to me. Now she expects me to help her move this weekend but the other friend is nowhere in sight. As a present, I got her some Diet soda and got rid of a couch for her. It struck me as funny that when I looked at the items on the gift registry they were all things she'd never buy for herself, not because she didn't want them but because she couldn't afford them. I guess though, I'm the type of person who asks for practical things rather than $200 decorations that do nothing for me or a $300 set of dishes when well, they're just dishes and they are all glass or ceramic which isn't practical when you have a 2yo and another baby on the way. I'd love to have some that match someday but until then, as long as I have some that work, I'm happy.

My aunt on my dad's side made a comment to my aunt on my mom's side (her own sister, not an in-law) about how my mom was a bad parent and was being ridiculous in asking for more child support from her brother. She said this all at my graduation party, at my mom's house. I know that's how that side of the family is but the location and who she said it to was pretty bad, it pretty much ruined my day, not to mention my mom's.

As far as the time thing goes, that is a little ridiculous. I've done that with little things like graduations and confirmations but never more than a half hour and usually I just say something to my mom about the start time being an hour earlier so she'll show up on time. But if they're going to put the start time on there as that far in advance, they should at least tell the people they aren't worried about or probably just print separate invitations like mentioned above.

Last edited by chevyjnova; 06-14-2007 at 04:49 PM.
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Old 06-14-2007, 04:49 PM   #15  
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Originally Posted by chevyjnova View Post
Now she expects me to help her move this weekend but the other friend is nowhere in sight (of course I'm not going, I have plans).
How are you not close enough to be invited to the wedding, but you are close enough to help her move? I'd re-evaluate and set that relationship aside. That's really bold of her. I'd only ask my very closest friends for help moving (actually, at this point in my life I'd probably hire a mover).
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