More tackiness from my distant relatives at weddings: the money dance, not only do they insist on going up to the couple, they make a game of folding the dollar bills and tucking them into places i.e. behind the bride or groom's ear, the spouse must them get the money without using their hands--like retrieving it with their teeth and then tossing it to the side to another family member waiting with a collection basket of sorts. Then each successive money giver will try to think of even more creative places to place the money--like in the brides cleavage (if she has any showing), or in the groom's waistband etc. Now that's TACKY!

I had never even heard of the dollar dance before my first wedding. The DJ took it upon imself to announce it, having never discussed it with me first. I was pretty embarrassed but the guests all seemed to enjoy it. Noone pinned money to me but just handed it to us. I think my embarrassment faded a bit after my mom counted it! Wow, we made alot of money that way!

My new husband and I were married from a registrar's office here in England and went back home for a big reception my parents threw for us. I absolutely forbade the dollar dance! It was informal, fun, Mom, my sisters and I did all the food ourselves, Dad and his band played. I agonized over how to present the invitations because we knew it'd be too expensive to try and ship gifts back to England. I finally just settled for "no gifts, please" because I had no clue how to ask for cash donations without sounding totally tacky (even though we still received alot of cash and checks from people who wanted to give us a gift).

A month or so ago, hubby and I were invited to a wedding and it said at the bottom "As ___ and ___ have already set up housekeeping together, they respectfully ask for donations towards their honeymoon instead of gifts." I thought that was worded well. Seems very practical not to mention saving the gift giver alot of time and wasted money.

Oh, hubby just mentioned to me that the dollar dance (he being English and never having seen it done) sounds like the Jewish tradition of pinning money in small envelopes on the bride. So it's not just greedy capitalism. At least there are traditional roots!

:o :o :o Oh my JUNEBUG :o :o :o

You DID NOT offend me in ANY way. I am so soory if you felt that! Please except my apology :^:

All I was trying to say ...... remember I ain't no english major AND I tend to ramble ;) so that confuses :?: people sometimes .....

Is that I USED to think the same about the money dance. The first one I ever saw was when I was about 28, as you know that was A LONG time ago for me :D . I totally thought it was tacky then, all the pinning and, as NOELLE mentioned, the hidden :o places. However, since that time and many more money dances, I have seen it done very nicely. I was trying to get across that each and every wedding and person are different. They do things different. Some of those weddings I have been to were on the lower end of the $$$ scale, but the couple WANTED ... even though it was at their cost ... their friends and family to SHARE in their magic day. They really needed the $$$ from the dance so they could pay for the food that we had just eaten ;)

As you mentioned VFW weddings can be fun! Ours was a blast, our friends still bring it up from time to time on how much fun it was. All it was for everyone was a huge party with tons of food, drink and dance. But if you saw that same VFW hall now ....oh my ...I won't venture near it. Honestly, there is NO WAY my kids ...especially my :p son in law :p would get married or party in one. That was then for me and my ex-wife, the guys that ran the joint for weddings were men that I bowled with in league ...got that? Bowled with! That outta tell ya somethin' :D

I bring some of what I say up because of a situation at my daughter's wedding earlier this month. The photographers they had were awesome, however, they were looking for "artistic" shots and they got a ton of them. I can't post them because the purchases have not been made and their site doesn't allow it. If you really want to see them PM me and I will share it with you ...you have to seat through about a 20 minute dvd of them though ...over 500 pictures ...but at least ENYA is playing in the background) Anyway...they WERE NOT about getting family pictures with the kids. They led my daughter to believe that this was going to work out fine....nah...didn't happen because of the situation. There was MORE than enough time for it, they chose to spend hours...or so it seemed...on my kiddos shoes! Nice pictures I will say but not family with them. Now, to be fair they did take some for us.

Here is my point ...see how I ramble ...;) ...As Angie and I drove to the reception I was so :mad: freakin' :mad: pissed off! All of a sudden I realized that I COULD NOT allow this to bother me. I still had a dance to do with my kiddo and a toast for them ...I wanted this to be perfect for her ...not about my complaining ...this day WAS NOT ABOUT ME!

Things worked out pretty darn good though. We got tons of pictures and cd's from all the folks that had their digitals. These were way better pictures than the "pros" used to take anyway.

Over the years I have learned to be less critical of these things, so many people involved with their own ideas it can get confusing. I just go to them with the attitude that it is THEIR day and I hope it turns all well for them. Oh, and if they have those little weiners and MY MGD'S ....well then ....ALL IS GOOD! ;)

When I was helping my MIL clean up after the death of my FIL 2 yrs. ago, I noticed that a lot of her nice dishes had names on the bottom of them. So, I asked about it. Lo and Behold her DD (DH's sister) and DH's XW had already put their names on what they want to get when MIL passes away. Even antique furniture and other things in her home have their names on it. Sheesh, can you imagine. I guess they are thinking she won't be far behind him and they need to already get their hand in the pot.

I got one for ya....
 

My sister in law whom before she married my brother in law was my best friend so I thought, asked me to be her maid of honer at her wedding then come to find out I had to share this honor with some other girl whom she had only know for a short time. Now i think when you ask one person you should, not make them feel as thought they are not your best friend after you have been there for them for many years. I just thought it was really tacky of her to do this. As of for now we are not best friends anymore since she married into the family and she treats me bad most of the time. So tacky is as tacky does......

You know, it's one thing having snacks for little ones in church and a whole 'nuther matter having them in a funeral. Chewy treats for a kid, yeah, but chips and soda? No...don't think a child that young (3) needs to be at a funeral anyway.

UGH! People are horrible! I didn't know all these things happened!

Some tacky things happen my birthday, so I am never happy on that day.

When I was little I had a birthday party and my friends hung out with my older sister and ignored ME!

Another birthday we ate at a place in the mall and everyone left me to go do their own thing.

I don't celebrate my birthday anymore, and to me it's like any other day now. My parent's buy a cake for THEMSELVES, and I try to RESIST MY OWN CAKE to stay on plan! I get so mad.

Christmas is bad for me, too. I am not a girly girl at all, I don't like jewelry or anything like that. My dad buys me a pink ring and it was just the junky ones from Walmart.

The year we learned I was diabetic I got candy as a gift and shorts, even though I was very much uncomfortable wearing shorts.

Last Christmas I just got the Pirates movie, even though they know I don't like that junk.

-=sighs=- I don't like Christmas day or my birthday because of these things. Hopefully I'll have a better time with holidays with my boyfriend.

FrouFrou, I totally agree. I don't think a 3 yr. old should be sitting there eating and drinking at a funeral. I personally would never have taken a 3 yr. old to a funeral in the first place.

I totally agree 3 yr. olds should not be there....but...maybe sometimes a sitter can't be found, since all the loved ones are at the funeral...you would think there would be someone to watch the kid...but maybe not. True, chips and soda is not appropriate in church service or funeral, I didn't mean to suggest that I thought so if I did...I guess what I was trying to say is there are a lot of folks that just are simply not that bright!

your birthday story reminded me of the LAST time i had anything to do w/ my inlaws for my bday. i was asked in advance where i wanted to go to dinner for my bday - and i told them. the day before i was told that place is too expensive - we'd rather go somewhere else. So THEY pick a different restaurant - one I'd rather not go to - i pick something crappy and cheap off the menu since they are paying and obviously money is an issue - only to at the end of the night pay for my own birthday meal!

in his family, i should mention, that it is their tradition to go out to dinner to celebrate a birthday, and of course, the birthday person's meal is on the family. i also should mention that they have no money, and when my hubby's siblings were still living at home - they'd go out and be told they have to pick the cheapest item on the menu and couldn't have anything to drink but water. I never understood this behavior - we were poor when i was a kid too. but you can bake a cake and have a potluck at home for just a few dollars and have more fun, in my opinion.

What i'm learning from this thread (and from my in-laws) is that people do things differently everywhere and there is no account for taste. *LOL*

OK, so my kids, nephew, :love: daughter in law :love: and :p son in law :p just left here after an awesome BBQ of carne asada. I got a new watch, DODGER towel, RAIDER night light for the game room, very cool Hawaiian shirt and a subscription to USC magazine.

Oh...the tacky part....Nephew got out his yearbook ~ my kids wanted to see it since it was their alma mater....

Now, before I go further let me say I graduated from the same high school in 1972....STOP :lol: :lol: :lol:

I remember picking my son up one day his freshman year, I saw a classroom filled with little kids. I asked him "What is this? A home-ec class on raising kids?" This was 1995. He laughs and says "DAD! These are the kids of some of the students." I am "like" "WHAAAA....:fr: :faint:"

Back to the yearbook...now these girls have their senior pictures in them with their kids....how special :p is that?

lizziness, this brought up an old not-so-fond memory for me. I had a date once that told me to just order water with dinner. He complained that I didn't get a child's meal since I didn't eat enough off the buffett for what it costed. He put lemon juice and sugar in my water to make lemonade to keep from having to buy me a soda. I never went out with him again. LOL.

Gary, unfortunately babies in high school aren't that uncommon nowdays. Sadly one of my nieces waddled across the stage to get her diploma 9 months pregnant. The very next year Her sister pushed her baby stroller with 10 month old in it across the graduation platform.

Hey guys, I'm loving this thread! One of my parent's cousins got married about 5 years ago. They had already been living together for about 9 years and even owned a house together at that point (still do). They still registered, for both the bridal shower and the wedding when they already OBVIOUSLY had everything they needed. I thought that was kind of tacky!

LILYBELLE ~It just seems to keep getting worse. Hey I was no :angel: as a high school boy ...but man oh man am I ashamed of AND I sure would have been ashamed of some of the things I did if I had gotten caught. Today it seems like it's "She's got one and "it's" so cute...I want one too." As you hear on ........ fill in your own (TV TALK SHOW ) "I'll do anything for my baby." HUH? What can you do? You probably won't finish high school, go to college or have a good paying job. Your mom and dad will probaly do most of the "raising of the child". Now I know there are exceptions to the rule...but the stats pretty well prove that these "KIDS of KIDS are heading for a tough tough life!

Sorry ...NOT! if I upset anyone ;)