Okay, it's 5 PM and you're off work.
But before you get home, you have to pick up the dry cleaning, run to the grocery store for a bottle of milk and then you get stuck for 2 hours in rush hour traffic and the milk goes sour.

I wish I had brought my lunch today to work.

*poof* you brought your lunch, but you put it in the fridge at work and some jerk ate it. So you're still hungry.
(this has been known to happen at my work sadly)

I wish I could replace all my in-laws with people that were tolerable... (ok who doesn't want that?)

your in-laws are now tolerable, in fact, so much so, that before you can stop yourself, you are inviting them to live with you forever, rent free!

I wish I could afford to own a nice home in Hawaii.

You just bought your own home in Hawaii.....and you lost your job because you spent too much time enjoying your new home.

I wish my husband and I had our own place.

Wish granted - you both are now the proud owners of a big, beautiful new house. So big and beautiful that all the relatives took you up on your half hearted "come see us some time" and you are now booked with guests every weekend through 2009.

I wish I would always have money in my wallet.

poof - you always have money in your wallet...because it was stolen by a drug dealer.

I wish I could just veg tonight and not return to my real life.

well guess what? you get to veg tonight and dont have to go back to your life... that is until tomorrow when your house will be in shambles, your husband will be furious at you for making HIM take care of the baby, and you will wish you didnt take the night off!


I wish that our condo would sell

Poof, your condo is sold!

But it sold for $25K less than you're asking and now you can't afford the house you had your eyes on. You have to move back home with Mom & Dad until you can get back on your feet.

I wish my daughter wasn't failing English.

Poof--you daughter passes English but fails everything else....

I wish my laundry was done, folded and put away by a Johnny Depp look alike!!

Wish Granted! However Your Johnny Depp Look Alike Looks Just Like Captain Black And Smells Just As Swell!

I Wish My 11th Anniversary Today Is Great!

Gary, you're 11th anniversary will be WONDERFUL!!! Congratulations!

But, you choose a great restaurant (which took your reservation 3 months ago) and you arrive only to find that their kitchen flooded and you can't get a reservation anywhere else. So you stop at Trader Joe's and buy a bottle of wine, some cheese, crackers and fruit, and head to the beach for a private picnic. (Okay, so that isn't too terrible~but hey, it's your anniversary. I don't want to totally wreck it!)

I wish all of my paperwork here at home was done.

Your paperwork is all finished! But then you spill a glass of diet coke all over it and runi it all!

I wish that I met Vin Diesel and he asked me to marry him!!!! LOL

poof - you are now engaged to Vin Diesel...who is sleeping with everything that crosses his path

I wish I werent sick

Wish granted - you woke up this morning and you're feeling better than you have in months. The sun is shining and you're lovin' life. Then the doorbell rings. A commercial talent scout heard you hacking in the store the other night and she finally tracked you down. They were willing to offer you $7,500 to be in the next Dayquil cold medicine commercial because you looked and sounded so bad. But now you have to turn them down because... you're as healthy as can be.

I wish I had a stronger "core" so I could do the Pilates routine and look just like the instructor at my class.