When I was in high school my older sister caled me "piggo"
When i lost it and probably more than I should have, I was caled "skinna bones"
I couldn't win.
I have a lot of anger towards my sister, but I have never told her how bad she made me feel.
I am 5 ft 6 and she is around 4ft. 11.
I have always felt ike a giant fat elephant around her, but I've always wondered if maybe, Just maybe, she is jealous.

Hyper critical people can't be very happy people inside.
Pity them.

I am sorry that you are getting this sort of thing from your sister. I had problems with my parents making 'subtle' comments about my weight for a while and I simply stopped going to see them. I know that people have said that you shouldn't let what your sister is doing stop you from visiting your family, but if your family is hearing this and they aren't doing anything about it, then they are not helping the situation at all. I'm not sure what you can do about that, other than talking to ALL of them, but I know that I have been a LOT better since deciding to keep away from what I call 'poisonous' people.

I am visiting my family for Christmas this year and I know things will be different, because I will be one of the smallest people there. Last time I visited my parents they made comments about how big one of my cousins was. I haven't seen them since. Problem is that I didn't TELL them why I didn't visit, I just never turned up at their house. This time, if they say something like that, I am really going to try to actually say something to them about it. Honestly, the way they talked about this cousin, I could only wonder if they said those types of things about ME when I was bigger. I have had the theory of 'unconditional love' blown out of the water with this thought.

Anyway... sorry to rant, but this topic is very close to my heart. My siblings and their families have never said anything to me about my weight, and I am really sad that I had to lose weight to get some kind of 'approval' from my parents. I would hope that if my siblings had heard them say something, they would have made a comment in support of me.

I hope you find the strength to either say something, or avoid this situation in the future. Your other family members should support you if they hear her saying something. If not, then you need to avoid all of them. These types of people can only bring you down, when you need to be supported.

Zelma

Hugs to you all and thanks for the replies!!! Also, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I'm not a passive person by ANY means, but for the sake of peace in the household (we can get quite loud and it embarasses my mom) I just go into my room and close the door. She refuses to acknowledge that she's abusive and was abusive even when I wasn't fat!

I'm just trying to survive the holidays and let it go. We should just stick to a long distance relationship. But when I DO lose this weight, she's going to be sorry!

Anyway, thanks for the support!

I can't help but wonder if some of the power her comments have over you are in the way you frame the situation: i.e., that she is being verbally abusive and you are being abused. Is there another perspective to view the situation that would put you in a more powerful position?

If I am being abused, I am coming from a weaker position.