Granted, but now your ears fell off so now you cann't hear.

I wish I wasn't so hungry.

Granted, but now you're overwhelmingly thirsty ALL. THE. TIME.

I wish I had more coffee.

Granted, the coffee will not stop overflowing our of your cup

I wish I had a strawberry smoothie

Granted, but it's made with strawberries, not low-fat yogurt and TUNA.

I wish I had a new computer in my office.

Granted, but there is nothing in your office but the computer.

I wish I had an Iced coffee.

granted, they put so much ice in it, you only get a few sips and it's gone

I wish I had prettier feet

Granted, your feet are beautiful but they're a size 15....

I wish I had better skin.

granted, but you become increasingly acident-prone and gain a multitude of scars on your once-perfect skin

I wish my co-worker would stop asking me to review EVERY file she works on

Granted but now instead of reviewing them you have to take in her work load.

I wish I could go on vacation

Granted, you've been fired.

I wish I had the day off.

Granted, but it's an unpaid day off.

I wish I could have a brand new diamond ring for my anniversary.

Granted but it turns your finger green.

I wish my computer wasn't so slow!

granted, your computer is now fast but prone to crashing often

I wish good furniture wasn't so expensive

Granted..you now have to build all your furniture from here on out.

I wish someone could fix our air conditioner at work.

Granted...but now its constantly -40 every day in the building

I wish my dishes would do themselves.