Granted... now it's 20 degrees below zero for the rest of the summer!

I really wish I would hit the powerball (it's up to 180 million!)

Granted, but through a cruel twist of fate you and 179 million others also get the right numbers, so all you get is $1 before taxes.

I wish my husband would turn OFF ESPN for a day!!!

Granted, but in exchange he plays video games all day.

I wish I could wake in Bora Bora with a sexy man.

Granted, but when he leaves he steals all your money and valuables.

I wish I had my sleeping schedule on track before school starts.

Granted, but now you fall asleep at exactly your bedtime no matter where you are or what you're doing.

I wish I could stop craving something sweet tonight.

Granted, now you are craving somthing salty.

I wish I wasn't so achy tonight.

Granted but you'll be achy for the rest of the week after tonight.

I wish I could tell him the truth.

Granted, but from here on out you can ONLY speak the truth, no matter how the other person takes it. (Them: "Do these make my butt look big?" You: "YES, they do!")

I wish the house cleaning fairy existed and would visit me!

Granted but it also means the Messy House Fairy exists and he comes in right after...

I wish my rent was $300 lower than it is

Granted, but now all your other bills are increased by $300!

I wish i didn't have to work today.

Granted, but it's because your workplace was warped to an alternate dimension and you can't get to it anymore.

I wish I had a Blu-ray player

Granted but it warps your discs so you cann't watch anything.

I wish I had more time before I have to go away to school.

Granted, you're expelled, get a job.

I wish this download would complete so I could run!

Granted, but your computer melts down and crashes into a useless pile of rubble so you can't use it.

I wish tomorrow wasn't Monday!!!!

Granted, it's Tuesday, and now you can't remember what you did for the Monday you skipped.

I wish a good song would play on the radio.